Job Discussion Forums

JamesonWhiskey · Joined: 18 Jan 2014 Posts: 34

Hey gents and ladies, I'm thrilled to have finally made it to Russia! A little bit of political turmoil didn't slow me down.

Well now I'm here and I have an American roommate, who is actually awesome, but I don't really see anyone but him and my coworkers / boss who are all English.

I'm in training, won't have students for 3 weeks. I would LOVE to make some Russian friends (Russian gf <3) but I don't know how to do it here...

Any advice?

PS I'm in Shel-Do not Moscow. Thanks guys
Edit, I guess it would be better to spell it Zhel-Do

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

Firstly congratulations for accepting a job in a place like Zheleznodorozhniy and not making plans to quit by the end of week one!
Although you are very close to Moscow it is not part of it,even though it's officially in the district......good news is that you can either get the electric train into the city centre or take a mini-bus 'marshrutka' to the nearest metro station and from there the capital is your oyster!
Generally there are far less foreigners in satellite towns-what would they be doing there anyway- and so people are far less likely to speak English.Without trying to over generalise, I also found them to be not that friendly towards strangers so by far the safest way of meeting them,including some of those stunning girls, is via mutual acquaintances at work etc.
Although it applies in many places,I would advise against going to bars and nightclubs on your own or even with another ex-pat, unless you know the place and the kind of people who hang-out there.Do keep in mind that Russia is not like western europe,despite the Macdonalds and modern shops etc. and this applies to many aspects of life there.Good luck!

JamesonWhiskey · Joined: 18 Jan 2014 Posts: 34

Haha thanks man but maybe you overestimate how bad Zhel-Do. Actually maybe it's not great but I don't notice because everything socially is good (apart from no Russian friends). My roommate is awesome, my boss is awesome and my school is brand new and awesome.

Zhel-Do may break some stereotypes because both my boss and roommate have told me I'm not getting the full Russian experience because people here are nice and smile. I feel cheated lol. But we definitely are Westerner's in a land of non-westerner's.

I am trying to make some friends through acquaintances, but I don't really have acquaintances yet lol. Anyways I hope it will come Confused

Chrstphr87340 · Joined: 13 Mar 2012 Posts: 28

I'd be willing to bet that Moscow has free, open English conversation clubs. You can find these easily on the Internet, and it would be worth taking the time to go into Moscow and attend these. Being a native speaker (I assume you are), you would probably be quite popular at these clubs. If you are interested in a girlfriend, these clubs are also a nice way to meet educated girls with nice English.

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

The last posting makes a very good suggestion on how to meet educated Russian people and there are several clubs in Moscow which operate for that purpose.Your main handicap is going to be the time needed to commute there and back when they meet and also whether it will clash with your teaching schedule-once you get one!Educated Russian girls can be mind-blowing ,not only for their looks but also for their intelligence so be ready for some intellectual challenges,as well as hot times when it comes to that side of things!But also beware that some of them have an 'attitude' and think they can do as they please,including how often they want to see you and how to spend time etc....either you fit in with them or they can drop you without warning and some date several people at the same time,thinking that's 'their business' and not yours,unless you have both made a clear commitment to something long -term.!!
Life there is full of surprises, so keep that in mind!

Sashadroogie · Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:27 am Post subject:

My god, Maruss! Who did you meet in Moscow? : )

As for meeting people/girls while not speaking Russian, an old ploy, ahem!... method, is to go to bookshops and mooch around the English language section. Plenty of English-speaking Russians there, and openings for casual chat. Not a bad way of picking up private students either : ) Or whatever...

Good luck.

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

I could write a book about my experiences in Russia and the people I met there etc and maybe I will one day!
The bookshop ruse got me some weird acquaintances too....one was a very polite but lonely woman of around 60 who spoke very good English and insisted I accompanied her home for tea so she could show me her collection of what she said would be' british novels from the 1930's'......this turned out to be hard-core porno mags. that would have shocked people even in Amsterdam and Berlin and needless to say I made my excuses and just about managed to get out of her door!
Another was a middle-aged very academic looking chap who said he knew the son of the composer Shostakovitch, whose music I was researching, so I accepted his suggestion to go the cafe in the bookshop to discuss the possibility of him introducing me to him......he then whispered to me that he was 'blue,' (the Russian equivalent of gay) and pleaded with me to become his 'closest friend'alleging that it was very difficult for him in Russia etc!To get rid of him,I said that I was AC/DC which he didn't understand and when I explained he soon took-off with a horrified expression on his face!
Another ex-pat friend who had studied in Moscow during the Soviet era once gave me a hint that for anyone looking for a one night stand,the female shop assistants in the old Detsky Mir toy shop were 'easy game' but I never did try that one!

Sashadroogie · Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:37 am Post subject:

I think, perhaps, I am very glad that I don't know, Maruss!

All sounds very decadent and bourgeois to me...

teacher X · Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:39 am Post subject:

Sashadroogie · Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:52 am Post subject:

Be more charming. And ideologically correct. There's nothing a Moscow gal likes more than an impromptu lecture on Dialectical Materialism : )

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

No doubt I would have been sent for a 'corrective holiday' at the Serbskiy Institute-or maybe even Mordovia in those days-Sasha!
Please don't remind me of that bookshop Biblio-Globus,teacher x-not only is it almost opposite the Lubyanka but I also met a very nice sales assistant there from Kolomna, a town south-east of Moscow which does have some historical old churches etc. which make it worth a detour f you are ever passing that way.
She was very keen to improve her English once I told her why I was in Moscow and after a friendly drink in the cafe during her break she invited me to visit her home town,which she said she went to whenever she had two days off,and gave me full directions on which buses and trains etc. to use to get there.A week or so later she had a weekend off and complimented by her interest in me,despite her being around 15 years younger and even more so by her nice manners I arrived there late morning as agreed for what I assumed would be a day visit, during which she would act as my guide with me offering her a meal as a gesture of thanks,which was exactly what happened.......she then suggested that we went back to her family appartment ,although I expressed reservations about disturbing her parents etc,but she assured me they would be pleased to meet a foreigner who was so interested in their country.Once we got there she explained that they were away and would be home the following afternoon and that I could stay with her overnight and then meet them next day if I would like to!Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth,especially on a cold winter evening,the day could not have ended up better than that for me.The next day she and her father insisted on driving me back to Moscow in his car,which took ages as we got stuck in some horrendous traffic and we ended up with me being dropped-off at Vykhino metro with her going on to the shared appartment where she rented a room......with her boyfriend, as she cheerfully explained!!Flabbergasted,I didn't know what to say,even more so when she said I could phone her and call in at the bookshop etc!!
Always expect the unexpected in Russia and just enjoy the good things as they come along.....but remember that we own nothing and nobody at the end of the day!!
By the way,Biblio-Globus also own a tour firm which are now the leading supplier of Russian tourists to Cyprus and nearly every day I see their coaches running people around here.......They also have very close connections with a certain official organisation in Russia that nobody wants any hassle with-say no more!!

Sashadroogie · Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 6:14 am Post subject:

Tsk tsk, Maruss! You are flabbergasted by the massive hospitality bestowed upon you by a selfless maiden of the Paradise? She went out of her way to show you around - and in her innocence she had no idea that you had more nefarious expectations. Tut tut! Where could such shocking notions as you had in mind have come from? Most likely the decadence of the West...

Let that be a lesson indeed to all those who would come here to despoil the flower of Russian female youth! Don't expect anything...unexpected!

Three cheers for the Party!

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

Sweet yes, experienced yes,nice looking yes and the kind of girl you feel good to be with because she behaves like she cares about you......then she drops her bombshell about living living with her b/f!But considering she was about 30,I suppose I should have expected that?
It wouldn't surprise me at all if plenty of other ex-pat guys don't have similar experiences with Russian girls?It's part of the early stage there when everything seems so exciting and different from what you knew before and when you meet one of them it seems as if you have found paradise.....maybe it's the way they talk,their accent when they try to speak English and their ability to look so feminine and deceptively vulnerable without overdoing their make-up etc?And because they are also usually so clean in the ways that matter most.....
But of course fairy-tales don't last forever and you come down to earth,sometimes with a bang, when you are reminded that Russia is also about many other things which are not so ideal!Behind that beautiful smile there often lies a nerve and determination as hard as Stalins steel!

JamesonWhiskey · Joined: 18 Jan 2014 Posts: 34

You guys a riot I enjoyed reading all that. I'd like to buy a grammar book anyways, that's a decent enough excuse to find a book store girlfriend. Or babooshka with a hardcore porn stash, whatever.

I definitely would like to find a girlfriend before it starts to get cold. Maybe I find one without another boyfriend, that would be preferable. Thankfully I have time to learn. I'm a young naive man in Russia, what could conceivably go wrong.

maruss · Joined: 18 Mar 2003 Posts: 1145 Location: Cyprus

You're in Russia where everything can go wrong-but then maybe it won't!Beware of girls who already visibly have b/f's though as the guys over there tend to assume that you have the worst intentions..and strike before speaking to you!
Seriously though,assuming you are looking for a nice one who won't be mainly interested in getting you to spend money on her in various ways once she knows you are foreigner,I would try to meet them via acquaintances at work etc. if you can,especially as your knowledge of Russian is very limited.The local girls in your town are less likely to speak English than those in the city,although also potentially genuine if you are interested in something more than a one night stand,but being approached by a strange foreigner is likely to put their guard up?
The routes we have already discussed such as talking English clubs are good if you can get to one and despite my experiences,the bookshop can be a way to speak to someone without making it obvious that you are after a date-you will soon realise if she is interested or not without creating an embarrassing situation for either party.What I don't recommend,although some people say it works,is to try talking to girls who you get crushed against on the metro etc. as Russians have a code of privacy in such settings and it could land you in serious trouble if she thinks you are harassing her!