Job Discussion Forums

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

I share homeroom responsibilities with a Japanese teacher. There is a group of 9 students in a class of 22 that continuosly chatter among themselves while I am teaching. According to the school the only thing I can do is ask them to be quiet. I try to cope but I must say it is very frustrating.
One of the group fell out with one of the leaders of the group. She hasn't been to school in weeks and her mother phoned to say she will not be going on the school trip to Canada.

I want to tell the class that I think it is terrible.
My question is should I say anything?

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Say what to whom? Tell the students that they are not playing nice? Think back to when you were in school and kids didn't get along. Unless, something drastic happened (and you didn't say), there is little you can do unless the girls hold your opinion highly.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

No, say nothing. It is not your place, and there is no need. The students probably know more about the situation than you do.

AgentMulderUK · Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:37 am Post subject: Re: bullying

Tonester · Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 10:05 am Post subject:

Sweetsee,

I know it is frustrating and it breaks your heart to see it going on but I feel that you need to let it be and refer it to the school counsellor if your school has one as he/she would be able to better help the situation than yourself. It is never easy to see it going on and not be able to do anything but in the interests of saving yourself unnecessary stress it is better for you to let things be otherwise you will experience another backfire like the last time you got involved.

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

I was afraid you guys were going to say that.

The problem is I feel that by getting involved I can help. Conversely, by not getting envolved I will be untrue to myself, deny my own feelings and basically be a party to it. It's like I said before: you are either part of the problem or the solution.
Sure, I could do and say nothing, like everyone else is doing. If it doesn't seem to bother the people in charge that a child has been bullied to the point of not coming to school and missing her school trip, why should it bother me?
Why should I care that an only child with no father and a sick mother has fallen out with the very gang that is giving me so much grief? Afterall, she was in the group herself. She deserves it right? Let them work it out themselves, right? That's what you are saying, right?

I don't see it that way. Uh-huh.(please ignore this)

king kakipi · Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 353 Location: Australia

Surely this is where the NATIVE-SPEAKING JTE takes over and does his/her job (to the best of their ability); and I would guess that all 22 of those homeroom kids would think that too. Can't you express your concerns to the JTE in English and finish with a polite 'onegaishimasu'? I think if you are left to do it, the other teacher is abdicating his/her responsibilty. Also you may not be in a position to know all the facts (due to language, not ineptitude on your part) and therefore you risk making the situation worse (despite your good intentions).

Whatever, good luck. Dealing with bullying should be taken more seriously, especially with the problems that J society is now encountering ('You reap what you sow....') as an indirect result (ie hikimori, rising suicide rates, elementary school murders etc).

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

Hi KK,

Thanks a lot. I appreciate your comments.

I have spoken to JTE. I have begged him to do something. Their behavior continues unabated. I don't know how to teach when I have to put up with them.
It's like a joke. The more I try to teach and let them be, the more they carry on.

I am tired. I was just hoping that someone would tell me I am right to do something.

On verra.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Eleckid · Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Posts: 102 Location: Aichi, Japan

Hi Sweetsee,

We have to understand that students (regardless of their age) have their own social politics that the teacher (no matter how hard they try) simply can't get involved or help them. Sometimes, each child must be able to cope with their problems & learn from them. Of course, if there is direct bullying in class, the teacher should stop the bullying immediately to avoid further consequences.

If you really did care & tried to get involved with their problem, did you stop the bullying at an earlier time before this student stop coming to school? I think that this bullying must have been an ongoing issue & ended up having this student staying home. I'm not saying that you haven't tried to stop them, of course I didn't know cuz you didn't say (or I missed reading it, sorry it's 1am now & my eyes are tired). I'm not an experienced teacher, but whenever I see direct bullying happen in my class, I'd stop him/her immediately on the spot, then after class tell the J staff about it. Stopping them immediately can avoid having the bullying as a habit for the bully.

It's too late now cuz the student already stopped coming to school, but if you really do care & want to help the student, just telling or scolding your class is useless. It might even make things worse if that student ever come back. They might try to attack him/her more.

If you really care about that one student, you might want to visit them (if the school allows you to, I'm not sure about the policies in Japan), talking to her & her mom, help them with English one-to-one, & just show in action that you really care about them & want them to be strong & come back to school. Showing that you care without having that student present is useless cuz they will never know what you did for them. Taking immediate care in action directly to that student is more helpful. When I was little, my teacher did that, & I felt so touched & special cuz I thought that my teacher really took the time (not their working time) to see & care about me. After that, I tried hard in that class just for my teacher. Then again, if you are gonna talk to them in English, it's not gonna help much cuz they won't understand you...aww.... Sad

Anyway, if you see any more bullying next time, try to stop them on the spot. It'll save you a lot of headaches in the future. Hope you'll feel better soon! And stay positive! Very Happy

btw, if the visiting is not possible, try sending that student an encouragement card! It's also very good~

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

ElecKid, Glenski et al,

Thank you. You are absolutely right.

I have considered visiting the student at home. I will discuss it with JTE.

If you feel the earth trembling this morning around 8:40, don't worry. It will just be me banging my head against the wall.

Enjoy your day.

Chris12 · Joined: 25 May 2004 Posts: 98

homersimpson · Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 569 Location: Kagoshima

I had a similar situation with one of my students. She was a good kid but fell out with some of her classmates. She stopped coming to school, and despite repeated attempts from her homeroom teacher, failed to return. When I caught wind of this, I wrote the girl a note and asked the homeroom teacher to deliver it on her next visit to the girl's home. About a month later the girl returned and has been attending school ever since. I don't know what, if any, impact my letter had, but it certainly didn't hurt. Sweetsee, I think you should shift your focus away from the bullies and try to see if you can encourage your student to come back to school. Emphasis the school trip as it is an excellent opportunity for her to travel abroad. Good luck.

spidey · Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:49 am Post subject:

Hey Sweetsee,

Eat any chocolate lately?

Everyone here has given you good advice.

If you feel that you need to be more pro active, maybe you should consider doing it in a more indirect way. Try focusing on providing a positive environment for both yourself and your students. Learn by observing their behavior and try to find out what some of these students are really interested in. Be there to provide positive support to these adolesent humans. Remember that they are going through one of the toughest life transitions that they will ever face. The bridge between childhood and adulthood. You obviously have strong compassion and empathy for your students. Keep it under control and learn to use it tactfully.

Less is More.

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man Smile

Sweetsee · Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 2302 Location: ) is everything

Thanks Spidey,

I have to tell you, I can't remember the last time I had some chocolate. I'm serious. I usually have some a few times a week but money has been so tight these days that I don't even have the change in my pocket to drop into the convenience store.

As far as the kids go, I can't handle it anymore. I am disgusted with them and the school. I want to discuss some of the things you said but I am cash, charred, burnt, etc.

If you can imagine this, I will be going to Canada with them for a week tomorrow morning.

And I am going straight from here to the nearest shop to get well.

peace to you brother,
s

Homer,

Thanks a lot. I will do what you did. Unfortunately, I can't do it before the school trip because its too late.

peace,
s