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stretch
Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 59
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:24 am Post subject: married with kids |
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Anyone have any advice on the married with kids front?
Both of my little ones aren't old enough for school. (will be about 1 and 2 when I get back) Looking for info on how available day care is, costs, what you think I need to survive financially etc. I'm not coming back to make money this time, just love the place and the job. I'll be selling everything back home, ie cars, house etc, so I'm not worried so much about the cash thing, but just an idead about what to expect.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a lot everyone. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:34 am Post subject: Re: married with kids |
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stretch wrote: |
Anyone have any advice on the married with kids front?
Both of my little ones aren't old enough for school. (will be about 1 and 2 when I get back) Looking for info on how available day care is, costs, what you think I need to survive financially etc. I'm not coming back to make money this time, just love the place and the job. I'll be selling everything back home, ie cars, house etc, so I'm not worried so much about the cash thing, but just an idead about what to expect.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a lot everyone. |
stretch
I am married with 2 kids here. Mail me if you have any particular questions. My kids went to Japanese day care (hoikuen, for those with working mothers). Paid about 15,000 yen a month for fees, and it gets cheaper as they get older (more kids in older classes per care-giver)
I can only speak for myself, but you will be struggling on 300,000 yen a month if your wife is not working. More like 350,000 is needed if you are the sole breadwinner. Depends on many factors e.g. rent and cost of living. You will need a bigger apartment and have to fork out on insurance too.
Dont worry about your kids not learning Japanese, as they dont speak English yet. They will take to Japanese like ducks to water. Problem will be keeping up their English skills though shouldnt be a problem if you speak English at home. Nursery parents every where love kids so you wont have any problem getting the best care for them. language may be a problem is you dont speak the language and most care givers dont speak any English, so be prepared. |
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Gordon

Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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I came here with my wife and 6 month old. She is now 3 years old and we have another due in 3 months. This is a great time to come, daycares are everywhere, as are preschools (which start at 3 years old). Costs vary depending where you live. I live in a small city and can easily live on 100,000 yen less/month than someone with similar accomodation and lifestyle in Tokyo. Will your wife work p/t, otherwise no need for daycare. My wife is at home and does the odd private teaching, as do I which really can boost your earnings.
Feel free to ask any specific questions. Sounds like you lived in Japan before kids, so it is quite a bit different..... a lot more fun. |
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stretch
Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 59
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:34 pm Post subject: kids |
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We are both up for the privates. We'd like to keep the kids at home until the start kindergarden anyways. Last time I was here my wife and I were he by ourselves with just me working making about 350,000 a month with a free apt and car. I know we won't get that set up again. Probably the 250,000 norm with apt costs. If I'm rural, do you think we can survive off that and at least not lose money if we do the odd privates? As I'm selling the house car etc, I will have money to have as back up, but I'd like to use as little as possible. My wife plans to go back to FT once the kids are in school FT. As we are both giving up our careers here we are hoping to come this time and stay indefinetly.
Is the kindergarden for 3 year olds half or full days? Wow, that's pretty awesome that they start that young. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:42 pm Post subject: Re: kids |
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stretch wrote: |
We are both up for the privates. We'd like to keep the kids at home until the start kindergarden anyways. Last time I was here my wife and I were he by ourselves with just me working making about 350,000 a month with a free apt and car. I know we won't get that set up again. Probably the 250,000 norm with apt costs. If I'm rural, do you think we can survive off that and at least not lose money if we do the odd privates? As I'm selling the house car etc, I will have money to have as back up, but I'd like to use as little as possible. My wife plans to go back to FT once the kids are in school FT. As we are both giving up our careers here we are hoping to come this time and stay indefinetly.
Is the kindergarden for 3 year olds half or full days? Wow, that's pretty awesome that they start that young. |
If your wife is working she can put them in hoikuen or nursery, which is open from 8 in the morning till 7 at night. My daughter went from the age of 10 months until she was 5 as both of us were working.
If your wife has no job they go to kindergarten from the age of 3. lots of half days and school festivals etc. Kids younger than 3 stay home with mommy.
Living rural on 250,000 for 3 people will be tight. Even 2 people cant live on a NOVA conversation school salary and its barely enough for one. You will need the savings from home and teach privates, I think. |
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Gordon

Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:50 pm Post subject: Re: kids |
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stretch wrote: |
We are both up for the privates. We'd like to keep the kids at home until the start kindergarden anyways. Last time I was here my wife and I were he by ourselves with just me working making about 350,000 a month with a free apt and car. I know we won't get that set up again. Probably the 250,000 norm with apt costs. If I'm rural, do you think we can survive off that and at least not lose money if we do the odd privates? As I'm selling the house car etc, I will have money to have as back up, but I'd like to use as little as possible. My wife plans to go back to FT once the kids are in school FT. As we are both giving up our careers here we are hoping to come this time and stay indefinetly.
Is the kindergarden for 3 year olds half or full days? Wow, that's pretty awesome that they start that young. |
Every yochien (preschool) is different. You can get half or full-days, starting from 20,000/month and up for half days without the bus or lunch.
You could survive on 250,000, maybe... However, with privates, which will take some time, you can add to that another 150,000 with the two of you. My wife and I were getting almost 150,000/month without any effort, but I think we were quite fortunate. One guy I know does 1-2 private classes/night and weekends and must make about 400,000 yen on top of his university salary. This guy has a family and he must never see them.
To start, you will need to use your savings, but that shouldn't last long. Where will you live? |
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taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Posts: 811 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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Fees for daycare in Japan are calculated on a sliding scale based solely on total income for the household. This means that Paul and Gordon, thanks to their much higher salary, are paying more for daycare than most.
To give you an idea, keeping my four kids a full day (8-5) in daycare cost a very painful 35,000 yen per month when I was teaching at a national university. However, the first year after I returned to the States, my wife and kids continued to live in Japan with her parents to keep (especially childcare & preschool) costs down. The difference in salary (admittedly a bit creatively rendered to City Hall) resulted in us paying just 7,000 yen/month total for all four! (Now in the States, we're paying $200/month just to keep the two youngest kids in preschool part-time....)
I think Paul is right about the minimum monthly gross income--350,000 yen combined salary. Food (cheaper if you go with straight Japanese food), housing, and especially kids clothing (brutally expensive in Japan...) will set you back the most, though remember you'll probably want to buy a car, furniture, etc. in the beginning as well. F/t daycare at that level of combined salary (assuming you both receive no yearly bonuses) should cost you about 10,000 yen per month--maybe even less, depending on where you live. |
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Gordon

Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Taikibansei,
I don't think private yochiens base their fees on salary. Daycares or public yochiens might though. |
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taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Posts: 811 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Gordon wrote: |
Taikibansei,
I don't think private yochiens base their fees on salary. Daycares or public yochiens might though. |
Depends what you mean by "private." We sent our kids to two 'private' hoikuens--i.e., both run through temples--and both times had our fees calculated (at City Hall, strangely) by salary. I believe kids can be kept at hoikuens until they are four.
International schools will be different.
My wife, who researched this extensively, just called downstairs to tell me that youchiens are based on total annual salary as well. At least, this was true in Fukui Prefecture.... |
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Gordon

Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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My daughter starts yochien next year, so I'll see then. I was under the impression salary did not play a part as they did not ask us what I made. Too bad. |
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stretch
Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 59
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:50 pm Post subject: kids and daycare |
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Currently i'm living in Canada. Daycare costs where I live are out of control. 800-1100 per child!!!! So basicly, if you want to work you better earn a lot more than that to make it worth your while.
Thanks so much for the info so far. Looks like I'll be dipping into savings I guess for the first little bit. No biggie. As long as the prospect of privates are around sounds like we should be ok.
How long has everyone been there, and how long do you intend to stay? |
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Gordon

Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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I came for what I thought would be 2 and it has now been 2.5 years. I don't know how long I'll be here though. I'm a newbie compared to most of these family guys.
BTW I'm also a Cdn, from Vancouver. |
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Nagoyaguy
Joined: 15 May 2003 Posts: 425 Location: Aichi, Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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Another refugee from Canuckistan here!
I am married and have an 8 year old son. We have lived in Japan for nearly 5 years now. The education system has been great! He went to public hoikuens, then to a public elementary school. He's in grade 3 now and is having a fantastic time. Schools here expect a little more out of parents, I have noticed, in terms of effort to keep the kids studying, providing assorted materials, and so on.
For language purposes, I strongly recommend an "inside/outside" approach. Within your family (you, wife, kids) use English exclusively. It doesnt matter if you are at home, a supermarket, on the train, wherever. English is the "family language". When you are "outside" ie. at school, visiting friends, visiting the grandparents, then Japanese is used. I am not sure if your wife is Japanese or not (mine is), so the above advice may be irrelevant.
Keeping bicultural kids up to speed on their second language is a big chore. I have been honestly shocked at the number of kids like that who have very limited skills in the "foreign" language. Your spouse (if Japanese) is the key. IF they are willing participants, and are willing to go with a few basic communication rules, you will be fine. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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In April it will be 18 years in Japan and I am thinking of a move to England to study the year after next. Various reasons. Iron job ceiling and all that.
My daughter is 10 in 5th grade at a public elementary school and enjoys school. Son is 5 and in a public kindergarten. Speaks only Japanese at the moment but we hope England will fix that.
(where we are public hoikuens take kids up until the enter elementary school at age 6). We have an international research center near here so there were a lot of foreign kids enrollled as well which was a bit unusual. |
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taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Posts: 811 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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Stretch:
I lived in Japan four years without kids, four years with kids, and a little over a year and a half of commuting back and forth. I'm actually not in Japan anymore--Paul mentions the employment "ceiling" that exists for most foreigners in Japan, one that frustrated me as well.
Gordon:
Things may just be different where you are--they always asked for my salary information in Fukui, though usually in a separate request in the spring....
Paul:
Same situation with my now almost 4-year old twins (i.e., no real English ability initially). Took them all of six months to catch up verbally with their peers--young kids are amazing with languages. The two oldest both had English ability going into school here, and are now pretty much bilingual. |
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