Job Discussion Forums

[etx]

Indeed, the first question to ask yourself is not, "Which country would I enjoy most" or "Which certificate course would allow me maximum job prospects" but "Am I suited to being an EFL teacher?"
Here is an aptitude test to judge your potential suitability.
Please answer yes, no or sometimes.
1) Are you outgoing and enthusiastic?

2) Do you enjoy being the center of attention?

3) Do you like meeting people. . . and then saying goodbye to them forever soon after?

4) Do you enjoy being stared at?

5) Are the ideas of stability, financial reward and long-term relationships repugnant to you?

6) Do you know what "repugnant" means?

7) Do you enjoy washing your clothes in the bathtub?

Does the idea of going out with women or men who like you only because of your passport's color appeal to you?

9) Do you like strange foods cooked in less than sanitary conditions?

10) Are you fond of trying to defend American and British military policies?

11) Do you thrive on loneliness and uncertainty?

12) Do you like cutting up paper into small pieces?

13) Do you enjoy making yourself vulnerable to the whims of rich foreigners?

14) Is the smell of whiteboard markers much like a rare and sensual perfume to you?

15) Is the thought of owning more than one bag of possessions repellant to you?

16) Do you enjoy trying to converse with people who you have nothing at all in common with?

17) Could you easily dispense with such luxuries as a pension or Social Security?

1 Do you drink heavily?

19) Is hot water a luxury you can easily do without?

20) Does the idea of waking up early on a Saturday to try to entertain a room full of hostile nine-year-olds appeal to you?

21) Do you give a crap about the difference between the present perfect and the present perfect continuous?

22) Does the idea of paying $1500 to learn how to do something that you can't save money at sound perfectly logical to you?
KEY: For questions 1 through 21, give yourself:
2 points for each "yes" answer
1 point for each "sometimes" answer
0 points for each "no" answer
For question 22, give yourself:
1000 points for a "yes" answer
0 points for a "maybe" or "no" answer
0 - 20 points == It would seem that your are far too sane to enjoy the EFL lifestyle. I'm sure that your local Kinko's Copy Shop or Starbucks would be happy to have you, however.
21 - 44 points == You show some signs of being able to adapt well to the EFL lifestyle. If you were to say, increase your daily alcohol intake and perhaps cut yourself off from your friends and family for a while, you might begin to fit the profile.
1000 or more points == Congratulations pal. You're a natural.

For more groovy career advice, check out www.englishteacherx.com

[thedude72]

I was just checking out your site and not only is it hilarious, but very informative as well. Reading the contents of this site will be very helpful to Newbies like myself and will be very entertaining for those grizzled vets who can relate. Everyone should check out this site. Well done ETX!!

[Deconstructor]

Loved your list. Let me contribute.

Do you thrive on depression?

Does angst bring out your existential side?

Are you alone and hopeless in the world?

Are you a nihilist?

Are you a liberal?

Are you stupid?

Do you at least have a sneaking suspicion that you're stupid?

Do you have nothing to lose?

Are you crazy or on your way to becoming one?

Do you believe in TEFL after death?

Do believe that God speaks English?

Are you doing God's work by spreading English around the world?

Do you like the sound of your voice?

Do you easily get confused while explaining grammar?

Do you easily get confused?

Do you believe there is a grammar boogeyman?

Can you spel?

[sigmoid]

Ah, English Teacher X! You're back, thank the powers that be.

Keep up the good work. If I had any money I'd send you a donation. Maybe next month...

[Deconstructor]

It seems that I had posted my above list twice.

Humm... The list clearly applies to me!

[Guy Courchesne]

Decon...your other list in the GD got hung out to dry. Question: where do threads go when they get moved? Deleted is one thing...back to digital heaven with those threads. But moved? Is this thread limbo?

What no Nietzsche in your lists?

[Deconstructor]

[Guy Courchesne]

[Twisting in the Wind]

Or another two:

Do you like coming home from class every night covered in blue and black dry erase marker from head to toe?

(and)

Have you given up on buying clothes of any other color, besides blue and black, because they'll just get ruined after a week (a day?) of classroom instruction?

[Guy Courchesne]

my, my

[Deconstructor]

When all else fails, I begin sniffing my magic marker. After a few minutes all is well with the universe.

[Chris_Crossley]

Here are some more questions based on three years' experience of being an EFL teacher in China:

Do you like the idea of having to use the staff room water dispenser as a washbasin?

Do you like the idea of seeing unflushed brown stuff (usually from young learners) still sitting in the squat toilet several hours after you last saw it?

Do you like (educating the young learners about) using squat toilets?

Do you like using squat toilets when your sense of balance may be lousy?

Do you like your school director coming to you and saying "See you tomorrow!" when you know you can't leave for another three hours because you have another 30 people to interview for a course that they might never take, anyway?

Do you like the teaching assistants using the staff room's only shared computer as their personal music centre?

Do you like your teaching assistant criticizing you for being one minute late for your first week 1 lesson of the semester, only for her to be late for every lesson after the first week?

Do you like your teaching assistant correcting YOUR grammar mistakes, even though you are a native speaker and she is not?

Do you like your teaching assistant telling you how to teach English even if you are a qualified teacher with two years of classroom experience, too?

Do you like your school director switching his mobile phone off when it is a Saturday morning and you know he likes to sleep in?

Do you like your school director giving you orders from the comfort of his own bed?

I can think of more questions, but I can tell you that all of these things really did happen to me during my first three years in China.

Here's to the fourth year!

[Deconstructor]

[hesterprynne]

Chris Crossley- you need to grow a big pair of brass cojones! My TA's may not like me- but they would never embarrass themselves by interfering with my teaching more than once. First day- my way or the highway, baby! The administration may cheat me and mess with me outside of class, but inside it is mine all mine!

[Sadken]