Job Discussion Forums

[Gdub]

I just spent a year studying spanish in Madrid, it was pretty fun but I eventually got sick of living in a big city with such crappy weather. Anyways, I try not to be negative, but the entire time I was there I never met one spanish girl who seemed interested. All the other girls, american, french, german, italian, seemed really cool and open to other foreigners and it wasn't hard to meet someone interesting from time to time. Despite all my friends being spaniards I never caught the attention of one espanola, seems like they're either trying to get married or just have fun, nothing inbetween. In fact, out of a group of 30 students, not one of them had a spanish girl/boyfriend during the entire year, but quite a few got together with other foreigners. Has anyone else had the same experience? I am just bitter about the whole thing because Madrid is such a touristy city and I felt like I never really stopped being a tourist.

[Gdub]

I'm just asking, do you guys also find spaniards to be a little closed towards outsiders when it comes to family/relationships? I saw a lot of spanish guys get with foreign girls but never actually go out with them, and I NEVER saw a spanish girl with a foreign guy. I don't want to make stereotypes.. but I left Spain with a very bad impression of the women there after having tried my best to meet some of them.

[Moore]

In the absence of a picture of your good self, I can only assume you've been very unlucky: every expat I know has had at least one Spanish girlfriend.
Bad weather? No Ladies? Are you absolutely sure you were in Madrid?

[Gdub]

you're telling me freezing weather in winter and frying hot in summer is a good time? Its like living in the desert! well, I'm from California so I guess there's not many places with better weather. I met a lot of women in Madrid, just none who were spanish AND interested in going out with a foreigner.

[Moore]

Maybe they got annoyed with you criticising their weather?

I prefer to think of it as lots of clear blue skies in winter and a dry heat in summer: I'm sure it's not a patch on California, but it beats London (and most of the rest of Northern Europe) hands down.

[jr1965]

Gdub,

Your story reminds me of a friend from Spain (Alejandro) that I had back when I was living in San Francisco (CA). I met him about a year and a half after he'd been living in the States (he came over to do a Master's in computer science). The guy was movie-star gorgeous, but had never been able to meet and go out with an American woman. He used to complain all the time that meeting and dating other expats (from Italy, Germany, Japan, China, etc) was no problem, but no matter what he did, American women just weren't interested. He'd complain about how cold and impersonal American women were (not what he expected after all the films from the US he'd seen, too, I guess).

I'm still not sure why the guy didn't have more luck, but looking back, I think it had something to do with his personality (he was very intense) and his English level (it was good, but to have any sort of deep conversation, we always had to switch to Spanish (tho' I don't really recall him being much into "deep conversation.") . And who knows�maybe there were American women who were interested, and maybe he just didn't know how to read "the signs" (in my experience, they sometimes differ from culture to culture). So...who knows.

Regarding the weather, I'm a native San Franciscan, so I know what you mean about hot and cold here in Madrid. In all fairness, though, let's face it: there is NO place like California when it comes to great weather year round.

Take care!

[Moore]

I think the o.p's problem had a lot to do with the fact that as an American he was more or less by definition going to leave and a lot of Spanish girls are quite serious relationship-wise and are looking for something long term: being English helps a lot as we have the right to stay here and a good many of us do.

Also I think British and American girls are definitely more generous with their physical affection than most other nationalities!

[darkside1]

Next time try Barcelona. Go to a late night disco- bar called 'Velvet' (very chic in its day but a bit faded now.) Things I like about it:

1. The female bar staff wear amazing costumes
2. You get a half pint of whisky for �5
3. There is a strobe light in the 'no. 1' section of the gents toilets
4. The music is retro 50s- 80s
5. There are plenty of gals 'sin complejos' who are up for it
6. It's open until 6 am (or used to be)
7. There's no entrance fee
8. It's the last chance saloon and if you can't score there...
9. If it's rubbish you can always sidle up the road to 'Luz de gas' (a much classier place) and pay the entrance money
10. There are plenty of taxis outside to stagger into to get home safely

[Moore]

Madrid: La Fontana, near Sol (late night drinking hole). If you can't pull there then you really should think about pursuing a career in a monastary.

[autoenglish]

Is there such a place in Valencia?, I sadly wonder.

[Gdub]

thanks for the reply JR, I didn't mean to say anything bad about Spain I just was reflecting on how hard it was to meet anyone who would have a normal relationship, (I am not talking about pulling a one-night stand that IS pretty easy in Madrid) with a foreigner. Like Moore said, people anywhere don't take foreigners seriously, thats why I said I felt like I was always a tourist... anyways, nice to here that at least some guys are finding romance in Spain.

[avolkiteshvara]

I was only there for about two months but I too got the same cold sholder feeling. After asking around I got the impression that Spanish women tend to stereotype Americans as brutes or a little crude. The Spanish guys love american women but then again they love every woman.

Just my 2 cents.....

[reality]

Its a bot like an Arab-Spanish Culture. In the small Towns, Spanish Girls tend to protect their reputations and brothers jealously Guard them.

Even in the Costal areas (a la Blackpool in Spain), its mainly the foreign Girls who prefer non-spanish Guys, unless they are on a Sex vacation for the local Guys.

Spanish Girls tend to be long-term minded. It took my brother six years before he even was engaged. And that was after her Father checked him out, before he could go out with her.

Most younger Spanish here, have no money and stay at home until they are married or can afford to move out. They tend to be more immature then other Europeans, and lack a curiousity about foreigners.

As the area, is slowly turning to Blackpool upon Sea, and Gays are moving in to a lot of Coastal areas. I guess its more for rich retired people, crooks, gays. People who want to live outside their European Countries but still live at "home."

I find Southern Spain, boring, more suitable for Grandma, and the locals see foreigners as stupid sometimes.

[benitacanova]

wow did i read this with interest - am i in the same country? the spanish women i see are not only modern they are pomo! they are amazingly sexually aggressive - both to my american guy friends and the brits. in particular i had one tall somewhat handsome brit friend who was regularly surrounded by beauties - he had random girls offering him threesomes after one drink. i could go on and on... i'll admit i thought he was a closet case so perhaps his apathy was what they found attractive.

meanwhile the spanish men only have the balls to talk to you when they're drunk - if they take your number they never call and i mean never - i think they are intimidated by foreigners - i think they are intimidated by everything - they are entirely lacking in self-confidence and entirely unprepared for the modern world. the women are ahead of the game for sure.

[jr1965]