View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
johnslat

Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Posts: 13859 Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 8:51 am Post subject: We've all had 'em |
|
|
'em being students who are a little less than conscious - comatose, in fact.
So, here are some ways to describe 'em:
38 Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is " Mentally-Challenged "
1. A few clowns short of a circus
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
3. An experiment in artificial stupidity
4. A few beers short of a six-pack
5. Dumber than a box of hair
6. A few peas short of a casserole
7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
8. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
10. One taco short of a combo plate
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck
12. All foam, no beer
13. The cheese slid off the cracker
14. Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
15. Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
20. As smart as bait
21. Chimney's clogged
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill
26. Her sewing machine's out of thread
27. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops
29. If he had another brain it would be lonely
30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control
31. No grain in the silo
32. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
33. Receiver is off the hook
34. Several nuts short of a full pouch
35. Skylight leaks a little
36. Slinky's kinked
37. Surfing in Nebraska
38. Too much yardage between the goal posts
Hope you don't have to use these too often.
Regards,
John |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Sandgropers
Joined: 05 Jun 2003 Posts: 39
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
Or, our favourite is
'The lights are on, but there's nobody home'
Cheers |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Shonai Ben
Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:47 am Post subject: More... |
|
|
A few bricks shy of a full load.
Not playing with a full deck
His/Her brain is in neutral
Anyone else? |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
grahamb

Joined: 30 Apr 2003 Posts: 1945
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:59 am Post subject: Cerebrally-challenged students |
|
|
Sandgropers, that one�s a classic.
Another good one I heard was "Paralysed from the neck up."
Next, please! |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
PanamaTeacher
Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 11:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
I love that one
How about: unarmed in the battle of wits
can't chew gum and walk at the same time
was sleeping when god passed out the brains
thinks that f**king and cooking are cities in China |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Shonai Ben
Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 11:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
A few more...
Dumb as a doornail
As bright as a burnt out lightbulb
Sh@t for brains
more?.... |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
PanamaTeacher
Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:09 pm Post subject: |
|
|
has his head up his a**
doesn't know sh*t from shinola
IQ is lower than his/her age
wouldn't know the right answer if it bit him
thinks recess is a class
thinks that moby d*ck is a STD
studied for his rectal exam |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Celeste
Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 814 Location: Fukuoka City, Japan
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Dumber'n a sack o' broken hammers.
Oh, wait, that's not kind or gentle.
"When you got picked up by the school bus when you were a kid, was it a long yellow bus or a short yellow bus?"
"Short bus, sir."
"I see, and when you ate lunch in the school cafeteria, did you get knives and forks."
"No sir, we ate our porkchops with a spoon." |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Shaman

Joined: 06 Apr 2003 Posts: 446 Location: Hammertown
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 1:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
A very good list so far. Here are some more:
Sharp as a marble
Bright as a three-watt bulb
IQ of a ______ (plant, soapdish etc.)
Dumb as dirt
Mouthbreather
For a normally smart person who pulls a stupid manoeuvre:
Had a brain cramp
Shaman |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
SueH
Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Posts: 1022 Location: Northern Italy
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 2:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
as dim as a Toc H lamp
as thick as two short planks
... |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Irish

Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Dumber than a box of rocks
Driveway doesn't go all the way to the street
Walking organ bank |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
PanamaTeacher
Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama
|
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
potential republican presidential candidate |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
woza17
Joined: 25 May 2003 Posts: 602 Location: china
|
Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 12:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
someone that doesn't listen.
Are your ears painted on?
I really like the dead hamster one
Cheers |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
buffy
Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 57
|
Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 2:41 am Post subject: Picked these up down in Oz.. |
|
|
A few tinnies short of a slab.
A few yabbies short of a barbie.
A few 'roos loose in the top paddock. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Mike_2003
Joined: 27 Mar 2003 Posts: 344 Location: Bucharest, Romania
|
Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 7:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
The engine's running but the driver's seat is empty. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
|