Job Discussion Forums

[denise]

I'm guessing that the majority of the posters on this forum have not met each other face to face. Why, then, all of the personal attacks?

A while back, the flaming of newbies led to the creation of the Newbie Forum. I am tempted to petition for the creation of a Nice Forum! A place free of animosity! Where love prevails!

I'm not suggesting that we all kiss and make up or anything. I would, however, like to remind people (particularly people who are considering telling me that it's none of my business...) that this is a public forum, and what gets posted here becomes the business of anyone who chooses to read it. Many of us come here for advice and/or camaraderie, and recently we've seen several personal arguments unfold. It's like listening to your next door neighbors fighting. Not very pleasant.

Please read over your posts before you submit them. Do you really want them to be that negative?

d

[The Gimp]

[misterkodak]

What, stop the hate? What hate? The hate directed towards whom?Most people on this board have never met and never will meet. Some people would say this so-called "hate" is just "tough love"or "constructive criticism". If this forum is too "emotionally unbearable" I could suggest not coming here, getting out of esl, or finding a nice therapist. How can people be so sensitive and teach ? I agree with Reginald Denny (the guy from the LA riots), "Can't we all just get along?!" It took a group of fine upstanding youths wielding bricks and baseball bats, followed by about 3 years of reconstructive surgery to bring him to that point. I think too many insecure people are taking too many things seriously.
I see a really touching teletubbie/barney- get in touch with our innerselves- moment coming on here. I love you you love me.... Big Hug! PLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE... I think you just "wounded my inner child".

"Have a coke and a smile and shut the fack up"--- Richard Pryor

[denise]

I guess I have my hippy-trippy peace studies background to blame for my inability to cope with the harsh reality that is EFL/ESL life. Still, call me naively optimistic, foolish, or whatever, but I'd like to see us all behaving like the mature professionals that I know we all are.

Come on, everyone--group hug!!! YAY!!!

Oh, and I have absolutely no intention of leaving EFL. Rather, I'm going to stay and make us all be nice to each other!

[chinasyndrome]

Hey Miss Denise, this one's for you! Now sing along kids and all hold hands!

There comes a time when we need a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon make a change
We're all a part of God's great big family
And the truth - you know love is all we need

( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Well, send'em you your heart
So they know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us
By turning stone to bread
And so we all must lend a helping hand

( REPEAT CHORUS )

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, let's realize
That one change can only come
When we stand together as one

( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )

[dandan]

Dear Denise

I find you unprovoked attack on hatred to be unwarranted and unnecessary. I think you should be more open-minded and tolerent of those who choose to live a life of hatred and despair.

In future please read over your post before submitting and consider whether you wish to be so negative.

[denise]

dandan,

My most humble and heart-felt apologies for my oversight. I simply did not realize that a life of love and happiness was not for everyone!

Carry on, then!

d

[bnix]

I am not making fun of your background, but did you actually major in something called "peace studies", or were you being facetious?
Denise:
1."Hate" is perhaps too strong a word for what goes on (some of the posts on the board) Perhaps"dislike" would be better.In some cases ,maybe "hate"is appropriate".Maybe I am splitting haors.
2.A lot of people go into TESOL not knowing why they went into it.They are ill-qualified, unqualified,and confused.Because it is essentially an unregulated field ,we get ALL kinds.
3. It is often an unhappy field(Yes,yes,I know SOME people are happy)But often those who are not happy jump on this board or the Korean Board to vent their frustrations...since there are often none(or not many) options to vent their frustrations.
4.Because of the basic anonymity of the forums, people often post things they would not say to a person's face(for various reasons).

5.Some people like to cultivate the "hardbitten,cynical,worldwise" TESOL teacher pose....it is a lot of posturing(Oh yeah,I have been there,and I have seen it )....a sort of angst.
6.I think your intentions are good,but I doubt if the boards(or TESOL,for that matter) are going to change.

Nice try,anyway,Denise.

[bnix]

not "haors". That "word" is too dangerously close to another one. Anyway,I meant to type "hairs".

[Sandgropers]

[denise]

bnix--

Nope, I was not being facetious. I got my BA in Peace and Conflict Studies. (The administration apparently thought "Peace Studies" was too lovey-dovey [go figure...], and they tacked on the "Conflict" bit.)

You make several good points, and I'm sure that the forum will not change any time soon. One can always hope, though... I just had to express myself, because I was getting to the point where I was hesitant to read or post anything.

d

[Roger]

Denise,
I appreciate your attempt at pacifying the world. A thankless job, if ever there was one. My sympathies to you!

I agree with bnix that "hate' is not accurate. The bad vibes are directed not so much against individuals but their opinions as expressed on this board. I would therefore call the malaise "intolerance", and there certainly is plenty of it everywhere, including this forum.

I know I have on several occasion been guilty of it. I know that I never hated the people I attacked. I flamed people but meant their ideas as different from mine. OK, sometimes someone is obsequious, obnoxious or plain arrogant and boorish - still there is no need to hate him or her but his or her shortcomings.
As said above, I have been unfair to some. The difference between people who routinely flame others and people who occasionally slip up is that the latter can probably be made to recognise their error and be made to aplogise.
Those who cannot apologise are our real enemies. And, I suppose, there aren't too many of them among us.
Because that would disqualify them from being teachers in an international setting, wouldn't it?

We do not put "face" higher than modesty!

[Stephen Jones]

[johnyarrington]

I think the comments of Steven Jones and others are unnecessarily rude, negative, and malignant.

I would like us all to be "happy", too, but I know that's unrealistic.

I think the original poster, Denise, had something worthwhile, useful, and interesting to say. I agree with her completely. I haven't checked this forum for the last several weeks, and only sporadically, for exactly the reasons she mentions.

Sometimes I get the feeling people don't have anything better to do with their day, or with their lives.

[The Gimp]