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[11:59]

In response to another thread which has been started on colloquial English in Hong Kong, I wondered if one could be constructed on the weird and peculiar, (perhaps annoying, and irritating), behaviour and habits of the Hong Kong Chinese. I'll start the ball rolling with a few observations and questions of my own.

1. Why do they insist on whacking their recently purchased pack of cigarettes against the palm of their hand for 5 minutes or so before opening it? Do they really think it will make them taste or smoke better? Do they think that by doing a Tyson on them for a while all the carcinogenic elements will be knocked out?

2. Why do they drop marbles on their floor all night long? Whenever I visit friends who live in flats in town this is all I ever hear come through their ceiling. It is usually every 30 seconds or so. You hear the marble drop, and then roll across the floor.

3. Why do the girls always all wear exactly the same? Is it some form of code of conduct, like the communist pyjamas of former times? And who sends out the messages to girls instructing them what to wear in the morning? How is it co-ordinated? One morning for example I left home and every HK Chinese girl aged between 18 and 25 I saw on public transport was wearing jet-black stockings (or leggings, or tights) and white as snow boots. This continued for a few weeks and then, all of a sudden (I think it was on a Tuesday), it just stopped. Now this combination is not to be seen. Can something really be termed a 'fashion' or 'trend' when it appears to be compulsory?

4. Why do they always sit on the outside (i.e., next to the aisle, away from the window) when they are on the bus? Why don't they ever sit next to the window? Why do they seem intent on having people climb over them when getting on, and often, again when alighting? If they sat next to the window they wouldn't be disturbed.

5. Why are the lads so effeminate and pathetic? In the UK a 14-year-old lad wouldn't be seen dead with his mum in public. Here they openly walk to school with them, right up to the gates, hand in hand, often kissing them on the cheek as they leave. And, of course, why, the very second it drops below a certain temperature or the second a certain date crops up on the calendar, do they immediately put on gay-looking jumpers and scarves? The sports days here are an absolute joke! 6th form boys here perform like form 1 girls in the UK in terms of times and distances.

6. Why do students seem concerned only with mastering the skill of spinning a pen or pencil on the joint of their thumb and index finger, spinning their text book on their finger, and consistently clicking open and shut their (always clickable) pens and pencils? (It seems beyond their ability to understand that perhaps if they actually did some study and work at school and college they wouldn't have to spend their evenings at hack tutorial centres.)

7. Why do they breathe through their ears? (I assume that thing they have glued to one or another of their ears 24/7 is breathing apparatus.) And why, if all these millions of phone calls are so important do they only ever actually seem to say 'Hi-Ya' and 'Hi-La'? And, more generally, why do they seemingly want to spend their life in a self-imposed bubble in the first place? Is having an I-Pod earplug in one ear hole, the compulsory mobile phone hand's free unit ear plug in the other, and a PSP consistently pushed against your eyes the most rewarding use of time on public transport (or a life)?

8. Why do they insist on living in conditions which are quite often atrocious when, meanwhile, the NTs and Outlying islands are all but deserted?

9. Why don't they ever use the stairs at MTR stations? I've seen young lads turn their noses up at having to go down a mere 6 steps, opting for the adjacent escalator instead. And why don't they ever walk whilst on the actual escalator? They will think nothing of charging towards it like a rhino but, once they are on it, they just freeze.

10. Why do they, without fail, and without the sightless hint of shame or embarrassment, use the reflection afforded them by the screen doors of the MTR to check out their appearance? I even see people (including boys) go right up to the glass � I mean right up to it, practically touching the glass with their nose, as if they were in their bathroom at home � and proceed to perform a minute adjustment of a single hair, which is odd as the style they typically have can only be classified as a birds nest. They even do little twirls so as to be able to check their appearance from different angels, and sometimes even act little routines for when they meet whoever it is they are meeting.

Can anyone else add any of their own?

[gryffindor]

[11:59]

Thanks for the reply, but I don't accept any of your points. I am not being funny, but your (or your informant's) answer of (1) flies in the face of currently understood physics (and intuitively is just absurd), and your point of (2) is downright nonsense. Are you really expecting people to believe that water moves or behaves differently in HK pipes than it does in pipes on the Mainland or in Macau (where this 'marble phenomenon' seems to be totally unheard of)? And, as regards (3), it was not "last season's fashion", it was the fashion of the day before. Here was a distinct, punctuated change in young HK Chinese female outward behaviour. One day they all proudly wore something ('Look at me! I look the same as everyone else, that's how individual I am!'), but the very next day not a single one did. So my question stands: How is this co-ordinated behaviour orchestrated? How are the secret messages informing them what to wear the next day delivered? Is there a government department devoted to this aspect of 'life' in HK? Also, I don't think they are fashion conscious � or even fashion fascists. Rather, I just think they are just sheep, pure and simple.

Anyway, since you did not add any points, here's another ten of my own.

11. Why when they go to supermarkets (even those stupid ones which are located underground in town and which have ridiculously narrow aisles) do they still insist on using a trolley rather than a basket, even if they are just getting a loaf of bread and a packet of Cornflakes? I've even seen a young, fit HK Chinese person use a trolley to get, wait for it, a pack of chewing gum and an air freshener. He actually took these two very small and light items to the checkout in a trolley. No one so much as even batted an eyelid. It is quite disturbing behaviour really.

12. Why do they walk around with their umbrellas up when under shelter (I've even seen Hong Kongers walk through underground tunnels with their umbrellas still up), or outside 10 or 20 minutes after the rain has stopped? Now, I am fully aware that most (if not all) HK Chinese people live in a insulated bubble into which they do not allow the outside world to penetrate and so are totally and wholly oblivious to their surroundings, but even so!

13. Why, when they are driving, do they never use their rear view mirror? And why are there so many people with 'Automatic Transmission Only' driving licenses? Is working out how to operate 5 gears really so beyond their intellectual capabilities?

14. Why do HK Chinese taxi drivers seem unwilling or incapable of maintaining pressure on the accelerator for more than a split second? Why do they tap their foot against it every 6 seconds or so immediately releasing it again afterwards? Is the resulting rocking horse motion meant to irritate the passengers?

15. Why do Hong Kongers arrogantly stop at the foot or apex of escalators and proceed to conduct family conferences? ('Hmm, shall we go left or right'? Oh, I know! Let's do neither! Let's stand here instead for a few minutes and make a pregnant woman fall over and have a miscarriage.') Actually, I'll give the answer to this one: When they finish using a facility, the said facility simply ceases to exist, at least in their small, vacuous, arrogantly structured minds.

16. Why, on top of a 60-hour week at the office and 20-odd hours of work at home, do they choose to spend their precious lunch hour queuing up on the Mid Levels escalator to receive a $2 HK (I repeat, a $2 HK) discount on their next MTR ride?

17. For the (ever-decreasing number of) HK Chinese people who ever actually get married, why, after tying the knot, do they continue to live at home with mummy and daddy for 20-odd years? And why is there little (if any) dating going on? Offices in Hong Kong are reminiscent of MacDonald's outlets in Saudi Arabia: females on one side, males on the other. Why do they feel it necessary to impose this (self-enforced) gender segregation/system of Apartheid on themselves?

18. Why do so many Hong Kongers (particularly the short, fat, beer barrel-shaped, middle-aged female variety) own canines? And why are so many of these dogs ridiculous little rat-like creatures dressed up in bows, mittens, and Japanese import dog-nappies? Are people here really so desperate for substitute children? And how are they able to put out of their minds the fact that, when their grandparents were their age, the only place you would find a dog was on the menu of the local restaurant? Or is this just another 'Look how different we are from the mainland peasants' routine?

19. Why do they talk so much? In fact, do they ever shut up? Do they ever just sit or stand quietly and have peaceful time? Do they ever think or reflect? Can they even think and reflect? I am not convinced. Besides, what on Earth are they rabbiting about all the time? (Actually, again, I can go at least some way towards answering this one. My Cantonese is not very good at all, but I can understand enough to get the gist of what is being said and most of it is undiluted, unadulterated, absolute tripe. All I ever hear in my staff room are variants on the following themes: Did you have rice or noodles for breakfast? Are you having rice or noodles for lunch? Are you having rice or noodles for dinner? Have you sacked that peasant of a Filipino maid for daring to still be in bed at 4am yet? Does my new hair style make me �look Japanese�? How is your India stock doing? Etc., etc., etc.)

20. Why do they talk so loudly? And why is it with such penetrating and painful tones? Is this innate to them? I mean, despite current genetic egalitarian dogma, are they relatively deaf in the same way Scandinavians are relatively tall and blonde? In fact, why do they actually even bother using those stupid mobile phones which they have surgically fixed to their ear in the first place? Given the sheer volume they talk at, why don't they simply stick their head out of the window and proceed to contact their friends that way?

[Serious_Fun]

[gryffindor]

[Serious_Fun]

[hkteach]

Well Seious_Fun, if you were pissed off as a tourist in Hong Kong, I can imagine how you'll be living here!!!

When I came here as a tourist, I only saw good things and wasn't pissed off with anyone or anything at all. And yes, I travelled on the MTR!! moved around in the crowded areas and generally saw a fair bit of downtown HK and a cross-section of HK people.

Within a very short space of time, reality set in. I guess that was the day I was pushed and almost sent flying by a woman on the street - obviously I was in her way and wasn't walking fast enough.

Since then, I've experienced a lot of good and a lot of bad.
Whether it's being pushed from behind into or out of the train carriage, people forcing their way onto the train before passengers can get off, suffering the person opposite hawking spit or picking nose, being bombarded with the incessant noise (mobile phones, LOUD conversations which are at screaming level, noisy neighbours above having showers and training their dogs at midnight etc. etc.) it's all part of daily life in Hong Kong.

It takes a great deal of effort for most of us to try to adapt to all of this. I don't know if I'll ever accept it because most of it just plain rudeness (or lack of consideration for others or thoughtlessness or many-people- in- a small- space syndrome- call it what you will but it annoys the hell out of me every single day).

[11:59]

21. Why are there at most only ever 2 or 3 'stars' in vogue at any one time in Hong Kong? It is a far from rare experience to turn on the TV (which, incidentally, is quite possibly the worst in the entire world, which is really saying something given the Military Galas and 'historical epics' shown back-to-back on Mainland TV next door) and to see three or four consecutive advertisements all with the same 'star'. I recall seeing no fewer than four advertisements one after the other all of which featured Karen Mok. In the first she lent her image to a brand of shampoo, in the second she promoted (skin-whitening) shower gel (!), in the third she endorsed some form of moronic strip which when placed on one's teeth makes them appear whiter (!), and, finally, in the fourth she advertised sheer stockings. Four advertisements, all from different companies, all for different products, yet all sporting Karen Mok! How original!

22. Staying for the moment with the above 'star', why are the likes of Karen Mok (and other 'HK Chinese') 'stars' put up on a pedestal to act as bodily role models for Hong Kong Chinese females? Isn't this close to being fraudulent? After all, Karen Mok is hardly 'Chinese stock', at least not exclusively. In reality she is 1/4 Welsh, 1/8 Persian, 1/8 German, and the remaining 50% of her genetic inheritance is Chinese. In short, she is mixed. Why then have her as a model towards which (non-mixed) Chinese race girls are supposed to aspire towards? The reason her skin is 'oh-so white' is not due to the $2,000 HK per month skin treatment she advertises, but rather is simply a reflection of the fact that many of her ancestors were western. It's as simple as that, no matter how uncomfortable the locals may find it. Similarly, the reason she has such 'lovely, flowing hair' has nothing to do with the shampoo(s) she endorses, it is because she has some Iranian genes. And the reason she is 'so tall' (i.e., taller than 5 foot nothing) and has 'such long legs' has nothing whatsoever to do with her diet or supplements or shower gel (or whatever she is paid to endorse that particular day) � it is purely and simply a result of her genetic stock.

23. Why are films on TV often sponsored by diarrhea tablet companies? Would this ever happen anywhere else in the world? Is having the runs really such a normal, run-of-the-mill daily occurrence here? Does everyone here necessarily want to think of battling their uncontrollable liquid stool when settling down to watch a film on TV with the kids over dinner before a game of Monopoly or Scrabble?

24. And why do the films on TV seem to be cut for advertisements in a purely random and reckless fashion with little if any appeal to the actual content or stage of the film? I've even seen films which stop in mid-sentence for the commercial break, and the sentence is rarely if ever completed upon re-commencement of the said film (and it is often a sentence of the type, 'The treasure is hidden under the �'). It often takes the abilities of a genius and the directing and editorial skills of Wells, Peckinpah, Scorsese and Tarantino all rolled into one to piece together the various and disparate segments they cram in between the advertisements (most of which will invariably be for skin whitening products of one sort or another).

25. Why do girls' legs only seem to come in two sizes, namely, skinny as a rake, and elephant leg size? Whilst most seem to have the skinny as a rake version, many have the latter type, but the point is that there appears to be nothing in between. And what is this HK Chinese female obsession of walking around looking like a pair of chopsticks, anyway? What happened to all that food aid for crying out loud? Why wasn't it sent to the starving here in Hong Kong? Some of the girls in HK have thighs the circumference of my forearms, and I'm hardly a bodybuilder with bulging biceps, believe me. Have they not heard of the dangers of anorexia? In the UK many of these walking chopsticks attached to upright ironing boards would be sectioned and then subjected to force feeding, for their own good. Why here are they looked up to as shining examples of young, healthy, womanhood and (perhaps not wholly incidentally) portrayed as such in the media of the territory?

26. Why do mini-bus drivers seem totally unaware of their own mortality and the mortality of their fee-paying customers? Why do they seem incapable of comprehending the fact that, as the driver of the vehicle, at some level they ultimately have some responsibility for the safety of their passengers? Are they all so busy driving all day and all night that they are unable to ever see the regular stories on local TV about mini-bus drivers having crashes resulting in fatalities (usually as a result of two or more drivers in their own words 'racing', often through red lights and around blind corners on the wrong side of the road)?

27. Why on Earth are there so many people in public wearing rucksacks, and why on the MTR do these people seem so totally unaware of the fact that they have a bulky and heavy object protruding 3 feet from their back in a horizontal fashion? These cumbersome objects certainly do not seem to prevent them from spinning around in a fashion that would make a gymnast or ballerina envious, however. (Who is this mystery phantom rucksack placer that puts rucksacks on people without their knowing it?)

28. If the locals (or, as I prefer to call them, the natives) truly are so proud of having Hong Kong Chinese nationality then why, pretty much without exception, are they all so keen (read, desperate) to get their hands on a British, Canadian, American, or an Australian passport? Again, if they are really so proud of being Chinese race, then why are they all so petrified of China and the mainland Chinese? I have met no end of 40-something Hong Kongers who claim to have never been to China, not even to Shenzhen, Zhuhai, or Guangzhou for a day trip. The reason invariably cited is the inherent dangers of such locations and their residents. Sometimes I wonder how I ever managed to live on the mainland with my wife and kids for 8 years, what with it being so dangerous and all.

29. Why are so few Hong Kong Chinese ever willing to 'concede' (in the sense that they seem to view it) that they � by dint of their ancestors � stem from what is today called (Mainland) China, i.e., the PRC? Can all 7,000,000 of currently extant Hong Kongers really be offspring of those truly indigenous to the region? Remember that when the British first came to the 'fragrant harbour' (but what, exactly, wouldn't seem fragrant after many months on the same boat with dozens of sailors who had gone for months without a decent wash?) it was essentially but a (small) fishing village with a very small estimated population. Don't you find it a sad and soulless state of affairs when a whole people are unwilling to 'admit to' their ancestry and pedigree? What, exactly, is wrong with saying your great grandfather (or whoever) came from a small village in Southern China (or wherever)? In short, they are racist towards themselves.

30. Following on from the question as to why they seem to hate themselves, why are so many shelves of so many shops (and TV commercial breaks) filled to the brim with nothing but skin whitening products? The girls in the advertisements and on the posters (to my mind at least) often look nothing short of hideous. They often resemble aristocrats from medieval France with that infamous 'I've-just-been-dug-up-from-the-grave' look about them. Is looking like a ghost from one of Stanley Kubrick's nightmares really considered attractive and desirable? Now, to this locals � and non-local, ex-pat apologists � will often retort that in the west, too, girls (and men) often try to change the colour of their skin. The example given is usually that of your average 'Chelsea' or 'Keran' who goes from a council estate in the North East of England to the Costa Bravo for a knees up and to 'get a tan', or Miss Yuppie who goes for a weekly tanning session on a sun bed in Islington. But there is a huge difference here and I am surprised so few people ever note it. The results of a tan are subject to rapid fading and so are temporary, whereas in Hong Kong many of the skin whitening 'treatments' undertaken by the Mid Levels and Peak tai-tais are permanent. In many of these Michael Jackson-style 'beauty' treatments, the skin is actually irreversibly bleached, if not modified by exposure to laser.

[hkteach]

OK 11.59, seeing nobody else has added to your observations about habits of HK people, I will add to the post.

I too have wondered about many of the questions raised here. Some have no logical answer. But some do.............
Q4. sitting in aisle seats when on the bus - yes a very widespread AND VERY ANNOYING habit by the locals. The first time I experienced it, I just asked the woman to move over, but that fell on deaf ears so I squeezed myself and bags past her as she swung her legs into the aisle to let me pass. Yes, I resisited the temptation to accidentally hit her with my big shopping bag.
BUT I asked my teachers about this and the answer is simple. If you sit on the aisle, you can jump up before the bus has even stopped and run down the aisle so you can be first off the bus! It saves time, you see. Those poor souls sitting by the windows get caught in the queue to get off and lose time.

Q7. Using mobile phone while on bus, train, in restaurant, while walking down the street (in fact ANYWHERE) serves the same purpose - saving time. Why waste time making a mobile phone call when you can do it at the same time as doing something else? It's multi-tasking at its best.

Q8. Same thing - why live in NT or on one of the islands and spend all that time travelling to work? Never mind if the air is cleaner and the accommodation bigger and better - if you have to travel for 45 minutes, that's 45 minutes you can't be working. Or sleeping.

Q9. Although many walk/run up or down the escalators, this is frowned upon by the MTR authorities.There are actually signs requesting people not to walk on the escalators. Many ignore this suggestion.

Q11. Re supermarket trolleys and their uses - recently in my local supermarket I saw a trendy young guy with a trolley and on that baby-seat thing, he had his two dogs! There they were - Airedales- sitting up there being wheeled around the supermarket. AND the supermarket staff, totally ignoring food hygiene practices (that don't allow dogs in supermarkets, let alone on the actual trolleys) thought it was sooooooooo cute. !! (make a mental note NOT to put your unwrapped food on those babyseat/rack things)

Q16 Queuing up for a HKD2 discount coupons.... it just fits in with the HK psyche - SAVE MONEY! My teachers are quite horrified that I'd pay 25HKD for a taxi from the station when there's a bus I could use. They were TOTALLY mortified when I got a taxi to the nearest KCR so I could get to Shenzhen quickly one day after school.

Q18 Dogs are substitute children. Many locals in their 30s aren't married, or if they are they can't afford to have children yet (they will all say that's because children are soooo expensive to have, educate and clothe as well as provide all those essential after-school things like music lessons, English tutorial classes, interview techniques (for primary 1 students and even kindergarten kids!!)

Q24 ad breaks on local tv. Agree totally about the timing of same - right in the middle of a scene or conversation. AND there's usually at least 8 ads (sometimes 10 or 11) Is this so we can all go and take a shower?

Q27 Backpacks. Also agree totally. Had to ask a guy on the MTR the other day NOT to move about while talking to his companion because his backpack kept hitting me in the head (nowhere else for me to move to as carriage was crowded). These backpacks are generally worn by males (almost all who aren't wearing suits) I've seen water bottles in the side pockets so maybe they are the male equivalent of the designer shop paper bags that women like to carry (usually in lieu of a larger handbag) Most of the time, these hold lunch.

Q29 HK people racist?? You bet. Anything and everything illegal, immoral or annoying to foreigners is done by 'mainlanders'..... "oh they must've been mainlanders" (who pushed me off the train/sat opposite and picked his nose/in trouble with MTR security etc. etc.)

AND TWO MORE QUESTIONS OF MY OWN......
Have you ever noticed the peculiar habit that HK women have of leaving the price stickers on the soles of their shoes? It's true - take a look at the woman walking in front of you and if she's wearing shoes with heels, you're bound to see the price stickers as she walks along.
This applies even to those wearing suits and high heeled shoes.

Why do women wear shoes at least two sizes too big so that as they walk, the shoes slip (causing blisters??) and clack clack clack on the tiles or footpath?? This isn't just a HK habit - I've noticed it in Thailand and Malaysia as well. Does anyone know what the reason is? Can't be comfort that's for sure.

[The_Prodiigy]

Excellent posting, 11.59 Witty and sharp.

[once again]

The colloquial English thread has some use. It highlights, for the most part, the particular forms of L1 influence that are common in HK. This thread is just moaning about HK people and their habbits. Having been in HK a long time, my feelings are that HK people have their cultural idosyncracies as do people from every country. Many of the things that people complain about HK people are there in every country. Mobile phone usage, inconsiderate behaviour in public etc. etc.

Maybe I can add one to the list.

It is very common for non Hk people to complain about HK people.

[japanman]

One morning for example I left home and every HK Chinese girl aged between 18 and 25 I saw on public transport was wearing jet-black stockings (or leggings, or tights) and white as snow boots.


I'm sorry but that sounds absolutely charming. I would have no problem sitting on such a bus for hours... days...weeks ... or even years.

[11:59]

31. Why don't they ever move over, even so much as a fraction of an inch, on the pavement, in the shopping mall (their home from home, often quite literally with many opting to live directly above it), or on the stairwell (not that it is typical to find them using stairs)? This seems particularly prone to happen if there are two or more people walking abreast, talking to each other (which is actually a bit redundant, if there is more than one HK Chinese person together then there will be incessant chatter, invariably conducted at full volume). Perhaps teachers at kindergartens and primary schools here in Hong Kong could help with an answer to this one. Are the kids here trained to look straight through people, as if they were not actually currently occupying that space with the atoms that make up what is their body? The only time they will ever move over slightly when walking towards you is if you yourself move, then they will not hesitate to move: into the space you provide them with. Some people say the Germans are arrogant, some the French, and many say the white South Africans are arrogant, but not many people say the HK Chinese are arrogant. This is somewhat odd as, to my mind at least, they are quite obviously the most outwardly arrogant people on the face of the planet. I have to conclude that as a result of the sheer widespread, normal, routine nature of arrogant behaviour here people simply fail to see the wood for the trees, have grown accustomed to it, and thus literally fail to register it. They too build up a social buffer zone and begin to adopt a public bubble persona as a defence mechanism.

32. Why don't you ever see HK Chinese people read anything (apart from the address book on their mobile phone and/or the trashy throwaway piece of rag sorry-excuse-for-a-newspaper they dispense for free on the MTR)? And how dare the parents ponder aloud why their kids never read? Where, precisely, do they think their kids get their models of behaviour from?

33. Why do they place such overwhelming emphasis (and faith) on the calendar? I went on boat trips on two consecutive days with the same HK Chinese colleges and associates and, on the first day all the HK Chinese who had kids allowed them into the water off the shore of Lamma Island (or, as the weird brand of ex-pats who reside on this outcrop insist it be called, 'Laaah-ma' Island). On the second day however, none of them did. This is despite the fact that, on the second day it was actually two degrees warmer than the day before and the relative humidity was some 4% higher. The reason unanimously given by the locals (many of whom were teachers, lecturers, and professors) was that it was now 'Autumn' and so it was too cold for the kids to frolic around in the water. They would 'catch a fever', I was informed. Germs in HK, then, would seem to be aware of the calendar, and the HK Chinese don't seem very willing to allow real world facts, that is, external realities, to influence, let alone impinge on, their set-in-stone behaviour. I should add my kids were fine after having swum 'in the Autumn' (shock horror, what an irresponsible father!).

34. Why do the waitresses and waiters raise their hand when leading you to a table in a restaurant? Do they really think you might lose sight of them? And why do they all don those ridiculous US president bodyguard-like ear pieces and those Madonna-style hands-free microphones? Do they really need special forces-like equipment to co-ordinate the running of a simple restaurant where all the tables are in full view (and in which they blare across the room at each other anyway)?

35. Why does your average HK Chinese Mr. or Mrs. Chan require at least four or five seats wherever they are, be it on the train, the bus, the ferry, or in Macdonald's? There is one for them, one for their coat, one for their scarf to be hung over, one for their (seemingly ever-present) cardboard designer label shopping bag, and of course the one to the other side of them to which no one can proceed because it is trapped in the corner beyond this recently constructed border of coats, bags, and other assorted items which your average Hong Konger seems wholly incapable of leaving home without. Incidentally, Freud would have had a few things to say about their seeming need to construct a physical barrier � what is essentially a social buffer zone � between themselves and fellow human beings.

36. Why don't they ever actually take cash from cash dispensers? Why is it instead always the case that they pay their tax, check their MPF account, transfer funds between accounts, pay their rent, etc., etc.? That is, why do they do everything but actually withdraw cash? And why do they always need to put their card into the ATM at least two or three times? Why is once never enough? As soon as they have conducted their countless (and cash-less) transactions they immediately put their card back in, just to check it has all gone through. But how often in their experience has it ever failed to go through exactly? Has anyone ever heard of it not going through? And what, exactly, are they doing to do about it at 9.30pm if it hasn't gone through anyway?

37. Why, when three or four elderly HK Chinese who are together as a group (and who have been waiting at the bus stop together as a group) get on to a bus do they sit apart from one another, despite the fact they could sit together if they wanted to? This of course would not affect anyone were it not for the fact that they do not allow the (self-imposed) distances between them to prevent them from talking to (or rather, shouting at) each other. Once two old grannies got on and both could have sat to my right or to my left. However, somewhat predictably, one sat on the right and the other � her companion � sat on the left. They then continued their fish market trader-like banter as if I simply wasn't there. I might as well have been invisible (and, in fact, I fully understand why H. G. Wells made his anti-hero character go insane). They were shouting through my skull as if I was not there. I am not even going to say that they are ignorant or rude, or that they were trying to make me move seats. Rather, they simply fail to recognise or acknowledge the existence of others, and if they do, then, in true psychopathic form, they do not believe that other people are 'as real' as themselves. (And what on Earth are all these old people all doing up so early in the morning anyway? Is the best way to spend one's retirement really to get up before going to bed?)

38. For the very few Hong Kongers who ever dare venture into an Indian restaurant (remember, Indians are 'dirty', 'smelly', 'lazy', and are 'thieves'), why don't they ever have pillau basmati rice? Why do they still insist on having comparatively tasteless plain steamed Chinese white rice? And why do they then attempt to eat that rice with a fork? Why don't they use a spoon as they do with their own variant of fried rice? And why do they try to eat the curry with a knife and fork? Is this what they call experiencing a different culture, like when they go to Italian theme restaurants? (You know if a restaurant has an Italian theme as there are Mediterranean-style pictures on the walls and an odd jar of spaghetti near the entrance; it's Spanish if it has a picture of a bullfight on the wall.)

39. Why are they seemingly so petrified of the rain? From the way they rush that (ever-present) umbrella up (and from the way they seem totally unconcerned if it nearly takes someone else's eye out) you would actually think the 'acid' in 'acid rain' was of the sulphuric variety (or perhaps it is of the Timothy Leary variety and they are already affected). Have you seen their (seemingly innate) routine when boarding a mini-bus in the rain? They bring their umbrella down a little, then actually turn their back to the entrance of the bus, then bring their umbrella down further all the time pushing their backside into the bus, then they slowly collapse the umbrella whilst at the same time turning back around into the bus, shaking their umbrella as they do so. Meanwhile, I somehow manage to just simply take my umbrella down and step into the bus. Imagine that! I may occasionally get a speck of rain on my hair, shoulders, and shoes, especially in torrential downpours, but since I am only exposed to it for a brief millisecond or so it has never really affected me that much, and if the alternative is to perform some stupid form of tribal war dance every time I want to get on a bus in the rain then you can forget it! Or am I perhaps missing something? Is it not rain? Is it perhaps the Mainlanders or Filipinos or Indians (or whoever) urinating from one of the skyscrapers and that is why everyone is so afraid of it?

40. Why, when for example a Xmas tree is put up in Causeway Bay, or TST, or Kowloon Tong (or wherever), do they all insist on making an instant pilgrimage to it and having a family photo taken with it? This is even true when the tree is obviously as plastic as a 1970s Action Man figure made in Taiwan. Do they really consider it to be some form of natural wonder? And, on the few occasions when the tree is actually real they all proceed to gape at it with sheer wonder and amazement, and the volume of their incessant chatter goes up yet another peg. Now, it is good to see them appreciating nature (if gazing at a pedestrian tree in a gaudy shopping mall such as Festival Walk can be termed appreciation of anything), but are they really so unaware of the fact that the (real) lush green countryside is but 20 minutes away by train? Or they really so totally oblivious to the fact that more than 50% of the SAR of HK is protected country park? Or is flora and fauna just for the shopping malls?

[japanman]

I don't live in Hong Kong so I have no idea. the only answer I can give is that they just do, that's it.

[Lao Wai]