Job Discussion Forums

[kuberkat]

Oman has served me very well: I have learned a great deal here, and saved a generous chunk of my income. But galvanized by my second eviction in as many years, I am forced to take a long, hard look at that contract. I am very grateful to the country, and don't mean to be bitter. But the facts may be.

[veiledsentiments]

But, isn't money always going to be an issue to some extent? I was in a position to be able to not worry about the money as I was moving towards the end of my career the second time I taught there.

Why are you getting evicted? (you party animal you...) Is it because of the rising rents?

But, I also think that it is the responsibility of the employer to provide acceptable housing. If it is a housing allowance, it is their responsibility to provide an amount that will pay the rent for the term of the contract.

VS

[eha]

If money wasn't an issue, I'd buy a huge villa in Salalah and stay here the rest of my life!
It isn't Oman we're talking about, is it; it's work conditions, contracts, support networks, etc. Oman is fine, if other things were equal. But are they?

[kuberkat]

VS wrote:

[veiledsentiments]

[RAHMA.Alfoori]

Dear Kuberkat,

Sometimes, we tend to forget that a norm in a society could be a violation in a different one and vice versa. Yet, people with religions and existentialists believe that there is universal 'goodness' that all people agree on. Radical changes occurred in the western countries, for instance, now prohibiting 'dating' has become a violation after a long time of viewing it as subvertion to the norms! The same applies to wearing 'scarves' in church that has become a joke nowadays to so many westerners. At a period of the Prohibition Era, we remember very well how 'drinking' has been abruptly seen as 'a violation'. I watched a documentary when women got into bars and broke all the bottles! Interestingly, they were smashing anything that contained alcohol or wine! Due to different factors, we are never certain what the norms would be tomorrow in any country! Yet, even when each society has got its norms, you will still find some people who like disruption. Those are the ones who would willingly initiate such inevitable changes.

Once I was heading to Heathrow Airport and there a helpful elderly man started an interesting conversation with me. He looked at some of the girls walking and said with a scorn with no introduction, 'That used to be wrong when I was young,' pointing to some beautiful girls wearing mini-skirts. Then, he was so keen to know whether I had a boyfriend or not and I answered, 'no'! It seems that he was impressed and I do understand why! I respected the norms of his time. I understand why he does not want to adjust himself to the unwelcome changes!

Before going to the UK, I knew that they had a different life-style, different norms, different views and this has prepared me to respect that there is difference wherever I go. You are not forced to change! You are not forced to accept people's unfairness on you! You are not forced to accept that somebody would plagiarize your work! Yes, it's your choice to allow it and it is also your choice to say, 'no'! The most important thing is to make sure you are not showing disrespect to the norms of that society but you could still live following your own norms. I also faced difficulties of people staring at me for wearing hijab or even academics who would hint of the importance of being secular! Of course, I could not get away from the naughty teens who would spit or throw stones on you because you are a Muslim. I changed my flat 5 times for similar reasons. My brand new Toshiba Laptop (900₤) was stolen by some homeless teens. Yet, I never judged that community negatively because I know that people even violate what would be considered good norms to the society & just like our young drivers who would risk their lives and others' for some excitement which does violate our norms!

We need to respect difference otherwise we will keep resisting other cultures! More importantly, we need to be aware of the main reason behind all of these clashes between civilizations. It is a result of one thing, 'Difference NOT Respected'! Some "powers" think that melting people into uniformed 'powerful' culture is the way to prosperity and freedom. To them, that's the western culture as if the whole world must think, feel, live and breathe like them. 'It's a free country!' is only stated if people live in a westernized context! It's unwise not to respect the difference! We need to make a distinction between what we see as norms and violations and what other societies do or don't! We also need to distinguish between those who violate the norms of the society!

kuberkat,

I hope you overcome the obstacles you are facing! I am sure you can do it through 'understanding' and believing that no one is perfect. Perfection is the impossible to reach!

[Duffy]

RAHMA.Alfoori wrote:

[kuberkat]

RAHMA.Alfoori wrote:

[RAHMA.Alfoori]

Oman is my paradise! How hellish the weather is during summer, it's a cool breeze on my heart because I cannot find more peace and tranquility in any other place. Any place outside Oman means anxiety, worriment and loneliness. Helping friends or getting unexpected visitors at unplanned times are not that bad how unproductive that is to other societies. We sometimes do things out of love and care even when our time is not as invested in other worldly matters. 'Don't trust strangers!' concept does not exist in here though things are starting to change! We don't have the Las Vegas-life and I hope we don't experience it at all! The pre-islamic period was a good example for the Las Vegas-life but we called it the Era of Ignorance!

My previous post is a reply to all the 308 posts which echo similar things about our Omani society. I have so many foreign friends who are masha Allah so beautiful. However, they don't face the constant harassment as you do! I have a foreign friend who once went to a hotel and there she was proposed to by an Omani drunkard! This does not mean that your sweeping generalizations ring true to ALL Omanis. It's certain that you will face these difficulties if you go to a bar, a hotel, or other places. The worst of young Omanis go there! By law, verbal harassment is penalized! Exploitation is penalized! If your are quiet about it, it means you are part of it as well!

Take care!

[denise]

[bje]

I agree with you Denise. Although I haven't yet worked in Oman, I've worked in 10 countries to date, and more to come in the future.

Strange as it may seem, any 'worriment (sic) and loneliness' I've experienced begins when I spend any length of time in my so-called 'home country'...There, the general preocupation with one's career, investment property, the contents of local TV etc. propels me to gratefully head off overseas again.

[kuberkat]

I made it clear in my previous post that I lay my weapons down. None of this was, from the outset, a criticism on Oman, its culture or education system. That interpretation was based on a culturally biased misreading. Thing is, the ways of other cultures can be anything from acceptable to annoying to ethically objectionable. Whether I accept a livelihood from practices that I find ethically objectionable is a matter of my own integrity. That is what the post was all about.

Since I am still here, the next appropriate question is: "What Integrity?"

[eha]

"an understanding that wherever you go, the local culture will be acceptable by local standards"

Surely this is the very point under discussion? The kinds of behaviour discussed here aren't acceptable in ANY culture. The fact that people may be more aware of these infringements of courtesy when THEY're on the receiving end, doesn't mean that it never happens at home. Most people who've lived a truly traditional life ANYWHERE will say that what they see going on in 'modern' societies, wouldn't have been acceptable in the society they grew up in. I've encountered this reaction in Europe, North America, Africa and the Middle East. Defensiveness is no way to deal with such issues; it just puts a stop to open communication. 'Respect for difference' is certainly the way forward; but does 'difference' include tolerance of the unacceptable? Moreover (as my students love to write) isn't 'respect for difference' reciprocal?

[RAHMA.Alfoori]

Dear Denise,


Wow! I like these words!

"�with an open mind, a positive attitude, and an understanding� wherever you go, the local culture will be acceptable by local standards."


Having a positive attitude is essential while traveling especially if you are thinking of living for a long time outside your country. This does not contradict with my personal preference to living at home permanently because family and life-style make all the difference to me! I enjoyed living in the United Kingdom and staying temporarily in New York City! I lived with people who have become my family till this moment.

Dear bje,

I've made so many friends from different ethnic backgrounds, British, Egyptians, Chinese, Tunisians, Japanese, Sudanese, North-Americans, Somalis, Italians, Spanish, Indians, French and so many beautiful people that I don't want to miss mentioning. It's true that you can make friends anywhere but perhaps it's not like home! My norms, "hijab, abstaining from drinks, fasting, praying 5 times a day" are not questioned at home! I was so happy to be surrounded by so many beautiful beings! Yet, I always yearned to return to my country whose norms are also mine! This is not to judge others' norms, but exercising your own "norms" with freedom makes your life easier.

Overall, the whole world could be our home-land when we can find people to trust and love. Indeed, it's all about the nature of our attitudes as Denise beautifully stated.

[kuberkat]

Surprise, surprise, I agree completely. Not only with eha channeling the Voice of Reason, as is customary, but also that a positive attitude and tolerance are essential to survival in a foreign country.

See, it takes a bulletproof positive attitude to make it through the battlefield of a dysfunctional work environment, sugar-coating labour-intensive courses to students who are willing to do almost anything but work, shoulder the burden of additional responsibilities that one's colleagues are not capable of doing, suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous/passive-aggressive/hypocritical office mates, all with no possibility of professional advancement, and then go home to have stones thrown at one, find graffiti on one's walls or having to enter into week-long negotiations to have one's gas cylinder replaced.

Rather than throw the stones right back at the little twerps, write on their walls, set the gas truck on fire, vandalize ministerial property, retaliate against testosterone-fuelled drivers, sacrifice a goat, spread rumours among my colleagues, yell at strangers/ students/ my boss, take the yummy head of the Chemistry department up on his offer, present a pole-dancing course in the girls' hostel or stuff my head in the oven some time next week when the gas guy finally brings my new cylinder, I let let off steam on this forum. The realities cannot be denied 24/7.

Then I go back to work and I am an exemplary employee.

This is a beautiful country with a culture that has a great deal to offer, and I am boundlessly grateful to Oman. That is a refrain I have repeated time and again. It is also worth acknowledging that living here, particularly in sleepy rural towns, can be really difficult. Freedom of expression is limited not only culturally, but also at work, where one learns over time that very few people can be trusted. (And that is a rose-coloured view if ever I saw one!) Since many foreign teachers are isolated, this forum is a place where a great deal of bile is spewed- it happens on the discussion boards of many countries, if not most. It does not mean that users of the forum are all permanently negative. That is, after all, what screen names are for. The forum user should not be confused with the actual person.

This forum exists to connect people working in what can be a very isolating profession. Very often it is used to discuss very pertinent issues in our work, and I am certain that the posters and the many other lurkers benefit from this. Sometimes it is used to further understanding. Sometimes it is used to let off steam. Or just to chew the virtual fat. It's the connection that matters.