Job Discussion Forums

[Capergirl]

Well, aaronschwartz, it seems you have found a "meaningful" interpretation all on your own.

[aaronschwartz]

I am a bad-bad boy!

[lfclouds]

Linda L.wrote

[arioch36]

Slightly off the topic, on to rape

Actually, I feel the sexy dress myth provoking a man to rape her is unfortunate. It just ain't how it happens folks. Most rape is committed by family/friend members. The girls/woman (lots of old women are raped) usually are not dressed like sluts. (Drinking/drugs can be a risky situation, though)

Many people say rape is about power. In large part, yes. In just a large part, it is about sex. Sex is often power. The prostitute can use her body to get something (Often this is the only way she knows to get anyhing. Isn't that sad? And often it is the only time most of the men in her life have given her anything. How many of you men who use prostitutes ever give them any consideration opther then when you pay them money. PS I stayed a quasi brothel type place for 4 days in Shanghai on my way back home this summer)

Anyways, if you look at rape as power (and sex), the girl who dresses very revealingly is using power. Her body is power. I mean, lets be honest, virtually any women can "force" a man to look at her, have sex with her. The ability to turn heads is power, and men and women are tauhgt to use power like this.

So the man who feels powerless does not come after the women who looks powerful; adult women who are dressed sexy. The man who feels powerless will look at the sexy women, hate them very much, see every thing as sexual, and will prey on young children and girls, old women, and prostitutes.

With the prostitute a man feels powerful because he has the money. Younger girls, older women, because they appear weaker. The number of elderly women who are raped is astonishing, though it doesn't make the front page.

For most places, legal rape is penetration. There are plenty of sins committed by the women. I believe that a women who flaunts her body to gain power over men can be engaged in a kind of mental rape. But legal, physical rape? Come on, this is almost 100% men against women (usually the weak) or men against men.

[Capergirl]

Interesting thoughts, arioch36. Allow me to blather on a bit more on this topic.

When I was in university, I was a volunteer peer counsellor and I also worked as a resident assistant, so I have heard a lot of rape stories. Unfortunately, the women who did speak up (that I know of) were quite often made to feel-and sometimes outright told-that it was their fault for one or more of the following reasons: 1) she was drunk; 2) she was dressed too sexy; 3) she was partying in a guys' residence; 4) she was alone at night; 5) she was flirtatious with one or more guys at a party. None of these "reasons" are excuses for rape. I was also nearly raped myself one summer when I was 17, at a 6-week French immersion camp. The guy was someone who had picked up alcohol for me at the liquor store for a party because he was older (25 or so). He felt that I then "owed" him something (in spite of the fact that I had already paid for the liquor) and decided that if I wasn't giving it up, he was going to go ahead and help himself. I managed to get away from him but the first person I told laughed at me, so I told no one else. I felt I had done something wrong and I knew that he would never be held accountable so I decided to just keep quiet about it...as so many women do. Was I selected because of my youth, as you suggested arioch36? I guess I will never know the answer to that question.

Now as for prostitution, I don't think any woman chooses to become a prostitute, but that these women are either so hopeless and destitute that they feel it is their only option, or that they are actually forced into it by another person. Their clientele, whether they care to admit to it or not (and I'm guessing not), are victimizing these women every time they use their services.

[aaronschwartz]

Let us not forget that the "clientel" are also victims.

[Roger]

I would like to read from the Christian horse's mouth in this thread what he thinks about rape of males. Does he accept or believe that this exists? are these males victims or not? How many do you think are there, percentage-wise? Do you pity them? Who are the rapists (gender)?
I hope you have some practical insight into this aspect, not official stats or biblical sources for your opinion!

[arioch36]

Capergirl,

You're on the mark on the older preying on the younger. Now this is something that happens women to boys and Men to girls (and women to girls and Men to boys) And all these older predators make some justification for it.

Before coming home this summer from China, I spent 4 or 5 days at a "hotel" mostly for prostitution. I was probably the only single person there.
(But it's a cheap air conditioned room and near my friend, and a very insightful place to stay [and not have sex].)

I was talking to one girl on the fire escape, about midnight or so. One girl came out of a room, throwing up at the fire escape, shaking. Her "friend" co-worker of course came out to calm her down, get her to go back into the room. It took her about ten minutes before she stopped crying, shaking, and was able to put on her "smiley" face. Then of course she had to go back in and party.

Sure, no difference between being a policeman or a construction worker and being a prostitute.

[Capergirl]

[mr pink]

Linda L.wrote
Quote:

Why do foreign men working in China have such a fascination with prostitution and have to post so many threads on this subject.



Interesting point.

Anybody care to give reasons for this?""

You're right. Guys are certainly interested in China's sex industry. Though I've never had a prostitute, I can tell you how much they should cost in over six countries (probably more if I really thought about it) and I know the general breakdown for how much the different "services" should cost in China, depending on province and city. This isn't bragging...it becomes general knowledge if you care to read this forum or listen to your coworkers' war stories or go to enough "business meetings."

The short, obvious answer as to why men are interested in prostitution is that it's SEX...easily bought, no commitment, directed at one of the most impulsive of desires.

But women are just as fascinated with prostitution, albeit out of outrage or romanticization. Just look at the movie "Pretty Woman." How many times have I heard a woman say that she'd be a hooker if she could meet Richard Gere (they never mention the "dirty work" that would come before Gere arrives on the scene)...or what about the book "Memoirs of a Geisha"...it's well-written, but certainly well-read by the female persuation...a book BTW that tries to say that a good geisha isn't a prostitute...common...the possibility of sex for sale is what makes the story so FASCINATING.

We all have our reasons

[stevey]

you know...i would love to be raped. does a female raping a bloke exist?!

any ideas on how to get raped...by beautiful girls? (...and im not taking it up the sphincter) Please form an orderly queue ladies, you will all get your turn.

[chinasyndrome]

[arioch36]

Capergirl

"Mental rape". Well I was trying to respond to Roger's contradictory musings (ie women who get married are prostitutes, but his mother isn't")

I think I said pretty clearly that in most places rape consists of forced penetration, unless you are referring to statutory rape. Thus, I can't figure where Roger is believing that there is much women on men rape. Unless he is some how thinking of some kind of mental rape. This is what lead to the musings you are responding to.

I do believe a women has power over a man in the sexuality of her body, while a man can dominate a woman through physical force. They have done enough studies showing that if a man goes up to a woman, asks her to go to his bedroom, 1 in a hundred will. If a woman goes up to a man, a large percentage of the men will go to her bedroom ( although a much smaller percentage would actually go out with her. The power of a woman's sexuality is enourmous. (Why else would we spend so much money on it, porn, prostitution, dating whatever)

If a woman uses her body (usually by showing it sexually) to degrade or humiliate a man, I guess I could possibly see someone considering this to be some kind of "mental rape" I was trying to see if this is what Roger was getting when he is talking out men being raped by women.

While I do believe many men are messed up because of the way women expose themselves to men (especially when women do it to boys), I personally don't equate this to the trauma of rape. in any way shape or form.
Perhaps Roger does. He asks ,presumably me, if I think men get raped by women. By the legal definition, very very rare. I have already said boy and men get raped by men. This is the only thing I can imagine Roger may be referring to.

I say Roger presumably asked me. He is obviously trying to be insulting. First he refers to me as Herr , which I assume is a slur on Germans for Hitler and Nazism. Then I am a feminist, then a Christian. Wow, talk about 3 very different groups.

[Joe C.]

[Roger]

Chris' use of "Roger's musings" and his (Chris'!) understanding of "rape"... you can see how far apart we are philosophically, and also how far apart we have drifted because of Chris' holier-than-you attitude replete with official stats and a quirky definition of 'rape'.
Of course, if someone in Chris' position starts lambasting freethinkers by slinging 'liar' at them they have to resort to speculating on what the opposite camp is talking about.
I think the legalistic ('legal') definition of 'rape' is somewhat skewed if not scurrilous.
In China, 'rape' is defined as (I don't have it verbatim, but this is what one friend told me) the use of physical force to coerce a woman to perform an act of sex. Obviously, this can involve serious violent crime. More obviously, a woman thus forced to perform sex is a victim of crime. Equally obvious: Although this is rape against a woman, it is unfair to exclude men from legal protection against predatory women.
Ah, no woman can force a man to perform sex, or so some believe!

Sorry, but I have my own experience, and I must disagree with this legalistic interpretation. Penetration is not necessary although it may be an element of the act. It may be the benefit for the woman at the expense of a man. Sorry, but I have experienced this. Yes, some women take from men what a man may be unwilling to provide. A man may experience mental anguish - you know it is close to midnight, you want to, you badly need to sleep, but there is this raging, uninhibited female that won't allow you to go to sleep before you have fulfilled her desires, whether you are married or not. She has access to your home and your bedroom, she is used to having things her way. She can prevent you sleeping. She can keep neighbours wake. She can talk to them in their first tongue, while you have a distinct disadvantage in this matter as a foreigner.
Ok, you don't necessarily suffer physicially from having to penetrate this woman... I don't know how this would be for you...I can only say that if your interst in your partner is extinguished due to total a break down in a relationhip with her I can't see how anyone might be willing to perform sexual intercourse with that woman.
And, lest you misinterpret this one way or another, I haven't mentioned any reason why there was a breakdown in this relationship.
Perhaps you lost your trust in her...
Perhaps she has been a sponger...
Perhaps you have reasonable suspicions that she is two-timing you!