Job Discussion Forums

[booty]

I once worked with a guy, whom I shall call Joe Bananas to protect identities and the general public. This guy Joe Bananas started off quite normal and friendly. However, by mid term he started to lose it.

It started when his money didn�t go through to his account. He began by threatening staff with imaginary lawyers if they didn�t pay him on time. Furthermore, he hadn�t shaved for two weeks and claimed that he couldn�t afford razor blades. Stressed out, he went to check to see if his money had gone into the bank. He demanded that he wanted to see the bank manager right away. When he found that the guy didn�t speak English, he arrogantly yelled � don�t speak Spanish and I�m a customer. The manager simply showed him the door.

Things got even worse in another town. He complained to the bar staff that his lawyers said that everyone should have tapas (food with drink.) When the bar staff said they didn�t do tapas, he said he was going to see his lawyer. Eventually, the bar man put some olives and chips on a plate for him. When he received them, he picked them up and threw the lot away. Thge barman just shrugged with disbelief
Eventually his tantrums over nothing lost him friends and respect.
If you can�t handle the way that some countries operate, then simply go home

[ESL Hobo]

I once heard of this guy who was a real renaisance man. He was a well qualified teacher but aside from that he was musically inclined, artistically talented, he loved science and poetry, and had an IQ of 175. His classes were always filled to the limit with students and had to pass an exam just to get into his class. And he was always easygoing and friendly to staff, teachers and students.

A few fellow teachers, as the story goes, became jealous and decided they needed to "cut him down a few notches". They all put in some money to have him beaten up. Next they invited the guy to a drinking party, got him really drunk and took him out to a club, where their paid bully took him out and broke a heavy liquor bottle over his head and sliced up his face. He ended up in the hospital with over a hundred stitches over his head and face, scarred for life and unable to return to work for who knows how long.

He never suspected his fellow teachers.
Wierdest and saddest story I have ever heard about, "Looney Teachers".

Crickets Chirping.........silence......

[ESL Hobo]

I wrote an email to the guy who told me this story to get more info. I thought, "There must have been another reason these "Looney Teachers" scarred the man for life."

He said that the guy the guy liked to talk about philosophy and free love, etc and that he was an atheist and a casanova.

He said the teachers who had him scarred for life were all "Christians" not the bible thumping types but thought that this guy needed to be taught a lesson.

[ouyang]

I once worked with a guy who repeatedly informed me that he had an IQ of 165. I'll call him Crazy Bob to protect his identity. (His real name began with the letter "R".) We taught together in a small Chinese town, and there were many times that I appreciated Crazy Bob's company, but he was no Casanova.

Crazy Bob admitted that he was not particularly handsome, but he genuinely believed his ability to "elevate the town's gene pool" with his genius genes would attract the sort of concubine companions that he knew had serviced his hero Mao ZeDong.

Unfortunately, his genius activities never included learning to speak Chinese. That was the role of lesser beings like myself, who served as his interpreter. When two lovely Chinese girls pressed him to come to his apartment "to play", Crazy Bob felt that things were at last going his way. However, even though "wanr" is translated as "to play", it doesn't have the same sexual connotations in Chinese.

When things didn't go as expected, Crazy Bob got drunk and stormed off to his classroom to fire off an email to the girls who had run out of his apartment. Being a genius and all, Crazy Bob realized that the communist party was monitoring his every move, and consequently felt humiliated.

Of course, there was nothing left to do at that point, but throw the classroom computer out of the third story window. To make a long story short, Crazy Bob left town shortly thereafter, and who do you suppose the Chinese recruiter who had hired both of us expected to pay for the broken computer? Why, me of course.

I don't harbor any ill will towards Crazy Bob any more, and I hope he will forgive me if he ever reads this. I also have stories about Moody Rudi and Hard Drinkin' Lincoln that I might share another day. And no, I'm not referring to you, Lurking Lincoln. (He reads this forum, but never makes any posts.)

[parrothead]

Certainly doesn't compare to so many of the previous posts, but I once worked with a fellow here in Japan who lived in his kitchen for a year. He had a full apartment, nice tatami room, but he piled everything into the kitchen with his futon next to the sink. No fridge or stove either. The rest of the apartment went unused, the tatami still green. I visited once, but just stood in the entryway. I didn't want to step on the little nest he had created for himself.

[Glenski]

A vegetarian teacher filled his entire veranda with potting soil (8 inches deep!) and grew his veggies there. Problem was, this was on the 5th floor, and when his contract was not renewed, he left without cleaning this up. The poor 70-year-old school accountant had to dispose of it all...with no elevator.

[Marcoregano]

Tony Lopez, (from LA) was a close friend for a few years and was a legend in parts of Chollanam-do, South Korea, from around 1996 until he died (in 2003 I think). I'm not sure I'd call Tony a loony, but he was certainly a bit different. He was very charismatic, and I'd say quite intelligent, but he had a heavy drink habit and would go on drinking sessions where he'd be drunk for up to a few days in a row. Unfortunately he had a quick temper, and especially when drunk or under the influence would get into fights, which he usually won as he was a pretty tough, strong guy and worked out with weights. When I knew him he worked for the Korean Government's EPIK programme - as did I. I remember him once telling me a story about a Korean guy in a bar in Wando making open jokes about Tony and Tony's Korean girlfriend. Tony told the guy that if he didn't shut up he'd smash his teeth out. The guy didn't shut up, so Tony smashed the guy in the jaw and he lost two teeth. Tony was taken to court and fined, but kept his job. He had plenty of other scrapes like that, but (amazingly) not only kept his job with EPIK but was offered another contract. A few years earlier he had been deported from Korea for hitting a policeman in the face in a bar in Seoul (but only after the policeman had stuck his truncheon into Tony's back) - but (again, amazingly) he was allowed back into Korea a year or two later and got the job with EPIK. Although he was often involved in fist fights the Koreans actually liked Tony. He was, generally speaking, good fun to be with, at least until he lost the plot. Another story I recall was he drove into Kwangju for the weekend, and got so drunk he couldn't remember where he had left his car. He said it didn't matter, it hadn't cost him much anyway. Tony certainly wasn't everybody's cup of tea, but I mostly liked the guy. He died in his sleep one night, no doubt after a few beers too many. RIP Tony.

[ESL Hobo]

Great story about TonyRIP.

[rusmeister]

[Justin Trullinger]

I hear you Rusmeister. All religions have their faithful followers, and also their idiots who claim the faith when it suits them but make no effort, however imperfect, to abide by the more difficult tenets of the faith.

DOesn't make the faithful responsible.

Best,

Justin

[johnslat]

Dear rusmeister,

"I'm just really tired of Christianity taking heat for people who claim the name but don't practice the faith, and then people transfer the blame from the hypocrites to the faith in general."

I definitely agree - can you imagine how most Muslims feel these days?

Regards,
John

[Justin Trullinger]

Probably can't fully imagine it, but one of my co-trainers where I'm currently working is a Muslim woman. She had loads of interesting stories about how people in various countries where she's worked react to that...


Some funny. Some sad. Virtually all misguided.


Best,
Justin

[Gav22]

I will call my candidate Mr. M - a nice guy at heart, but one who had seen a little too much, drank a little too much, and been in one scrap too many.

M was a gulf war vetran. He drank excessively. threw things at students. Talked about his sex life with students. Slept only one hour a night on average. Told me he was a boxing champion, a signed rapper, a war veteran, had a college degree in music and had 4 years TEFL experience all before the age of 23. M turned up to my city engaged to a prostitute after knowing her for three months, and she never showed up, leaving me to deal with his heartbroken, drunken rage in the middle of a quite strict Muslim area.

M soon started to unravel, we almost came to blows, and eventually he was fired (after a whopping three weeks) for beating the shit out of neighbourhood security for trying to remove him from a taxi he had fallen asleep in for 4 hours outside the teachers house, at which point i had to drag him into the house and told him he may be fired to which he replied "Not me..I'm fucking special...."

He was fired that day, and the last I heard, he's very well and living the good life. I should add, however, that when M was not drunk, he was a genuinely cool guy and I enjoyed hanging out with him. He just had a flip switch, that's all I can say.

[Yossarian Lives]

Tim H. was a 6"3 aussie who had just been banned from Korea with a persona non gratis stamped on his passport. He came to China and found a job with English First Suzhou, where he gave a sub-par demo class and was reluctantly hired. Things were going well.

Two weeks later at the monthly teacher orientation dinner, Tim gets absolutely hammered and excuses himself from the dinner. A couple teachers (myself included) meet up with him a couple hours later at a bar, where he has apparently racked up a strictly-Tequila bill of over 800 RMB.

It is 2 AM and we start talking about heading out. We see Tim still at the bar, by himself, trying to hit on everything female he sees. He cannot function at this point. When all the girls had had enough of his drunkenness, they complain to the boss who kindly asks Tim to leave. An argument ensues, and Tim soon finds himself scrambling on the concrete outside in a fist brawl with 3-4 Chinese guys. He then decides to run over to a parked taxi, punch and kick the driver till he gets out, actually STEALS the taxi, then crashes it into another car about 50 meters down the road.

He was imprisoned, deported, and EF had to procure all his costs.

It was awesome.

[ESL Hobo]

"It was awesome"

LMFAO

I agree totally uncool but nontheless, "ASSome"