Job Discussion Forums

[Vince]

This is a tough discussion, but I'm glad I came across it. I taught EFL for six years in Japan and want to go back, but my father is starting to show his age. My sister recently said she's worried about some memory lapses she has seen.

On the other hand, my Japanese wife is away from her mother. Her mother wouldn't leave Japan at this point, so that puts my wife in the same situation.

[mitsui]

My mother passed away two years ago. You never know when it will happen.
My Japanese wife has aging parents and I witnessed my father-in-law have a stroke.

It is a trade off but sometimes TEFL is tough.
I have missed a couple funerals and a marriage.
It is tough since vacations abroad happen when back home, people are working and vice versa.

Make sure your passport has at least six months left. You don't want an issue there. I did, and had to wait for another one. I should have applied earlier than before Christmas. By early February my mother was gone.

Another problem is that there are no bereavement fares anymore.

Any time a parent has a heart attack, make reservations as soon as possible.

[roywebcafe]

My father died in UK when i was in Taiwan back in 04 - didn't have the funds to go to his funeral. Now my mother is 90 and I am living in UK I am afraid to travel too far - further than Europe at least partly, because i am afraid the same could happen again even tho i would have funds set aside just in case. Far East is a long way to go for a few days. She is in a care home well looked after - Her state is very depressing. This is a reason a lot of posters get anxiety.

[Kowloon]

Interesting discussion. Sad to read of some difficult experiences. Although frankly, IMHO, that's a lot of mawkish rubbish from Hod on page one.

The situation is more complex than people make out. I did a year study abroad in Texas, many of my classmates were from the far East and West coasts of the US. Some have settled in Texas after graduation. It doesn't seem uncommon for American families to be spread out in such a way. How long a journey is Denton, TX to Buffalo NY? Similar to Edinburgh to Istanbul? So are they to be chastised in the same way as a Scottish TEFLer working in Turkey?

When I was growing up my father worked in London, his family back in Glasgow. He would occasionally go 2-3 months without being able to visit due to how busy his work was. And if his father had a heart attack suddenly? Well he would have missed it, obviously.

So what is the solution? Never take a job too far from home? Never take a promotion that will increase the time required at the office? A close friend of mine once turned down a position as a Ski instructor in France as she didn't want to leave her parents. A fortnight later they announced they were moving to Spain to retire, leaving her in Glasgow working a job she despised

Life is short, and ideally yes, we spend as much time as possible with those we love. However, our own life satisfaction is equally important and you shouldn't feel guilty for aspiring to improve it.

[Moma]