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On Audrey Hepburn and the death of femininity...
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:24 pm    Post subject: Are these posts BIG or LARGE? Reply with quote

Dear biffinbridge,
Not anymore it isn't.
Regards,
John
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latefordinner



Joined: 19 Aug 2003
Posts: 973

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll take the long, thoughtful answers in this thread, thank-you. I'm not sure yet where I stand, but a lot more has been thought than said in this thread and I rather like it.
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Aramas



Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yaramaz wrote:
I want to live my life for myself, for more than just finding a man.


Fair enough, but that can have the perhaps unintended consequence of living your life by yourself.
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leeroy



Joined: 30 Jan 2003
Posts: 777
Location: London UK

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quality rather than quantity...

I like it when threads have long, qualitative(sp?) answers.

But if you guys thought this OP was long, I have an absolute beast in the pipeline... In fact, I'm going to start it now...
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rj



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 159

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramas wrote:
yaramaz wrote:
I want to live my life for myself, for more than just finding a man.


Fair enough, but that can have the perhaps unintended consequence of living your life by yourself.


As someone who's been married, I can say with certainty that spending the rest of my life alone is preferable to spending the rest of my life with the wrong person. There's a big difference between living your life to find a partner and living your life while finding a partner.
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yaramaz



Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2384
Location: Not where I was before

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Aramas wrote:
yaramaz wrote:
I want to live my life for myself, for more than just finding a man.


Fair enough, but that can have the perhaps unintended consequence of living your life by yourself.


Interesting conclusion but not sure it is accurate. I've never had a problem with finding good men to have in my life. Have one now, in fact, and he's just as independent, curious, geeky, and travel-hungry as I am. I did not have to act differently to attract him.

However, please not that by nature I'm a calm, quiet person, a polite person, a considerate person. This is not an act but these are good qualities to possess, I believe. We seem to be putting forward this notion that a woman's real character is rough and 'unfeminine' and bollix-busting and stand-offish and coarse... and that we must adopt a false front in order to be considered attractive. I cant imagine why any man would want someone who is just pretending!
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Atlas



Joined: 09 Jun 2003
Posts: 662
Location: By-the-Sea PRC

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yaramaz wrote:
Quote:
We seem to be putting forward this notion that a woman's real character is rough and 'unfeminine' and bollix-busting and stand-offish and coarse... and that we must adopt a false front in order to be considered attractive. I cant imagine why any man would want someone who is just pretending!


Well-said!

Maybe I used to watch to much tv, how many women are portrayed in many popular programs: heroic on female terms; but when you look at the men in these programs, they are stumbling, bumbling, dishonest, aggressive, childish, nervous, 2 dimensional sexual toys. Call that comeuppance if you wish. But if females can have power only by denigrating males, something is missing! How can it be that a sex is strong only if the other one is weak? That's not strenth, that's conceit.


<<<Geek Alert>>>

That's why I like Star Trek. Roles based on sex and heritage rarely come up, story conflict is based on personal choices and the mistakes we make, and every character has their own personal power, without having to make buffoons of others.

(Except the Ferengi. Apparently it's alright to denigrate and stereotype them at every turn!)
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Dr.J



Joined: 09 May 2003
Posts: 304
Location: usually Japan

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 7:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two things;

1) What's wrong with pretending? It's not the same as 'lying', you know.

2) I don't really equate sitting on a raft and crying with powerlessness. If you look at it from an action --> effect point of view, then the girl knows that a man will come and help her, hence she is simply doing the action that will bring about the result. 'Powerless' is only what it seems if you look at it under a certain definition of 'power'. In the end, she gets what she wants, so is she ultimately powerless?
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yaramaz



Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2384
Location: Not where I was before

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 8:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I believe it is called manipulation.

If I were a man, I would not like to be manipulated by a woman into giving her attention. She can tell me directly what the problem is and I can be kind and caring and loving in return. No need for crocodile tears and the assumption that men are stupid and easily fooled.
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