Job Discussion Forums

[funakoshi]

i've only been here in china a month, and will only be here for 6. I'm in the phase of starting to accept being here, while still longing, alot, for home. I get email from my gf everyday, but other than that, i already notice ppl writing me less. I get it and its ok i guess, but it is tough to get up in the morning with a full day of classes to come, and see that your inbox is empty....no one is thinking of me today..... i have a feeling my gf will trail off soon too, that will be a saaad day...

[Joachim]

I can totally sympathise.

When I left the UK three years ago I was constantly sending long, detailled and witty (or so I thought) emails to friends and loved ones, and I would frequently have 7 or 8 waiting for me each morning.

After a few months it dwindled to 2 or 3 a day - just mum (who learned to use the computer specifically for this purpose....aaaah!), a close friend and a newer friend I made on the CELTA course.

Now, three and a half years later, job number four and two awkward trips home later I know exactly who I am likely to stay in touch with, and who is likely to dwindle out of my life....

When you go away, you lose common ground with people. Maybe when you go back home for good, you can start ot build it up again.

[distiller]

I totally agree that you lose common ground with people back home. Maybe its just being away for so long in genral and not about being abroad but I find it difficult to relate to people, especially their consumerism and fad following, when I do go back. I've been abroad for about 6 or 7 years and it is very hard for me to relate with people in the US who have never left for any extended period of time. I think you may be able to rebuild a connection but in a way the whole point in leaving was to not become those people. So I think there will still be more distance than before even after reacclimating.

[Dr.J]

It's hard to imagine people back home getting on with their lives; it was as if people just 'froze' the moment I left.

But the flip side is that you 'freeze' as well for them, except their final image of you is going off on an adventure, so maybe there's a little bitterness mixed up in there too.

I don't think many people at home understand the downsides of living in another country, or realise that at some point life just becomes normal again.

One good point is that, you get to know which of your relationships are going to stand the test of time, especially when you get back and see if you can pick up where you left off.

[ContemporaryDog]