Job Discussion Forums

[Rice Paddy Daddy]

Don't do it - You'll inevitably regret it!

[arodeorowdy]

I appreciate your comments Chester. I understand about the Portugese, Dutch and other influencies into the Indo culture. We all don't agree and that is one thing we can agree on. And your's too Cardinal Synn.

I went HongKong and the dance bars and learned more about this subject. This info is subjective of course, bcuz these are girls who like to dance in the bar instead of just sit around Victoria Park but: the Indo girls dress much more sexy than the Pinays do. The easiest/only way I can tell them apart is the way they dress. But the Indo girls, the ones I see here, are more attractive and better built than the Pinays which carry more weight on them. The Thai girls are inbetween. But I still don't like the Indo girls accent when they speak english, silly yes, but it just doesn't sound nice unlike the Pinay accent which really sounds sweet. But the Pinays ALMOST always ask me to buy them a drink and the Indo girls DO NOT. So this would have me believe that indeed...the Indo girls are more honest. Also many of the Pinays get a commission from the bar whenever a guy buys a drink for them...and their drinks cost $17 (135HKD)!!! I was soured the first time I let this happen to me, but not again.

So, I think I need to take another trip to Indonesia to I can try to make up my mind and try to figure this out soon.

Cheers, Rowdy

[Chester]

hmmm
did i meet my wife in a bar?
no.
is she a slave?
no
infact i met her thru friends.
and she has a business and is independent.
but that is irrelevant.

my comments re girls of every nation were "tongue-in-cheek".
but you didnt get it.
i dont give a feck about nationalities - do you?

if she were amerian or brit, or czech, i would be amazed at her.

you stand corrected.
so says the wisdom of chester.

[Cardinal Synn]

Ah the wisdom of Chester - clear to everyone, except everyone, except Chester. H o w w a s I to k n o w you were being tonguey in cheeky? Bet your wife makes you cups of coffee and you don't make any for her though, hee hee . So I took you seriously, not really in my character, but hey there you go. The thing is, one actually can employ a few stereotypes for women of different nationalities but I'm worried that if I go into them, I'll be shot down and spin into the ground without a parachute.
What the ferk, I'll mention a couple, maybe they aren't what folks would expect.
Jordanian women: Wear the veil but are hard as nails and make it clear to any dumb ass male who might think different, that women are definitely the stronger sex. I have seen many a tough Bedouin guy tramped firmly underfoot by his spouse.
The Scots lass: Can drink any guy under the table but is actually more feminine than her Indonesian counter-part, but can't handle the fact, so she swears a lot, goes mental often and is usually sectioned to a mental institute by her family.
One of the above is said tongue in cheek. Can you guess which, dear reader?

[arodeorowdy]

It does make a difference where they come from!. A girl from the Phils. is gonna think different and be different than a girl from The Czech Rep. who's also gonna be different than a girl from Russia which will also think/be different than a girl from the USA. I know cuz I've had them!
It's their upbringing which is handed down thru their culture and everything around them that molds the way they are, the way they think and what they want.
Sure, girls are the same around the world and want the same things, but are also just as different. These differences come from where they were raised. Which is why I like S.E. Asian girls better than Czech, Russian, American ect.

And within S.E. Asia there are enough differences 'tween girls for me to think about which one is better. I always seem to keep going back to the Pinays.
Cheers, Rowdy4Bush

[AsiaTraveller]

Well, since we're on the subject of ethnic, racial and national stereotypes...

Aussie men: Loud, boorish, bright red necks and noses, sloppy drunks, tend to get very fat in old age (and it's not the "good" kind of fat... it's the ugly and messy and pasty-white-pink kind of fat), male chauvinists

Brit men: Sullen, bad teeth, dirty hair, poor hygiene, terrible diet, quiet drunks. Become feeble and even less hygienic in old age, pu--y-whipped

Yank men: Boastful, uncultured, racist (Anglo-Americans are racist, African Americans are racist and Asian Americans are racist), overweight, "superior" to other nationalities, clueless about women, tend to get very fat in old age (even fatter than Aussies)

All tongue in cheek, of course...

[JZer]

I agree with arodeorowdy that there are cultural differences among men and women of each country. No country has perfect women nor does a country have all bad women but every country has a certain trend. Is it insulting or ignorant if I said that the average Thai women is less overweight than the average American women? I mean since we could prove that it is true. Every country has tendencies and I do not think it is a bad idea to marry someone from a country in which the members of the opposite sex best fit your cultural tendencies.

As for the best I would go with South American girls. They are more outgoing and energetic.

[Chester]

Asiatraveller!! good for you.
I agree 100%!!!

did you forget the Canadians?
tell us more., aye?

[AsiaTraveller]

Canadian men: IQs even lower than Yank men, mainly because of the decades of frostbite. No energy or ambition for same reason. Shy and timid -- and especially afraid of women. Tend to favour large Inuit and other First Nations girls for the domination and humiliation (and winter blubber) they provide.

[tongue, of course, still firmly in (somebody's) cheek

[Singkong]

AVOIDING A MUSLIM MARRIAGE?

Another option for someone not wanting an Islamic marriage is to get married in the embassy of your home country. This would depend on the spouse-to-be and their family.

I met a Brit guy who did this. She wasn't keen at first, then he told her "If we have a Muslim wedding, then we follow all the Muslim rules about marriage and I can have four wives." She quickly agreed to a non-Muslim marriage.

PAPERWORK:

Wanderer: I married an Indonesian - the paperwork was a bit of a hassle, but you've probably figured out by now which bits are essential. That list looks like too much. I needed a 'Letter of No Impediment to Marriage' from the Australian embassy, but I've never heard of a "Certificate of marital status". Re certificate of religion, I had to jump through hoops and "convert", largely I think to impress their friends and neighbours. (I had a particularly dodgy father-in-law).

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:

Incidentally, it lasted two years before we split, amicably. She's a decent person, but we weren't a good match. Among other things, intelligence is one of the most important characteristics I look for in a partner, and we weren't well matched on that score.

One thing I learnt is that cultural differences can actually cover up more serious differences. E.g. what I thought were signs of maturity & a sensible mind were actually culturally mandated behaviour. It's harder to assess someone's character and intelligence when there's a language barrier - I spoke pretty fluent Indonesian, but when there was a misunderstanding I put it down to deficiencies in my language, and only later realised that a lot of it was on her side.

Another thing I learnt is to keep things quiet from her family as long as possible, and not get cornered and manipulated into being more committed before you really intend to. That might not have been the reason we actually got married, in my situation, but it was like the only other option was for me to just run and not look back. I didn't want to do that, but I suddenly understood why Indonesian guys tend to just disappear when they don't want to continue a relationship.

Having said all that, I'm open to a relationship with a woman from any culture - but I've learnt a few things to be careful of.

And I won't be in a hurry to get married. I'm happily single now, but I have seen the dark side...

Good luck
Singkong

[blueboyguru]

Interesting Posts indeed......well...I'll jump right in at the risk of getting shot down by the feminists and the "PC" crowd.

Basically, I think that we have to start with the premise that most women are crazy or at least seem crazy. I don't mean this in a mean-spirited manner....just that their attitudes and emotions are pretty hard for the average man to contemplate.

So that is pretty much my view point on women world wide.....I love them...I really do...but, I can live with them or without them. Strengths....weaknesses.........all that is a bit of generalization that borders on sterotyping of women. However, I do agree that we can safely make some assumptions based on these stereotypes and be fairly confident of the end results.


Btw, I really enjoyed the shots at the Canadaians.....especially as an American. I am left with only one question....Where is Canada ?

Indo women....crazier...than most. Possessive, untrusting.....can be brutal when it comes time to make the break.

For my money...give me a gourgeous babe from Copenhagen, Denmark.

C ya.

[guru]

I had a bit of a chuckle with some of those stereotypes. The fact is there are so many varieties of culture and people and sometimes we don't see the beauty in others until we've been here. I never never would have dreamed of marrying an asian when i was a teenager. Now i belive that Indonesian women are the most beautiful on the earth, with my wife always the most beautiful till the day I die.

The stereotypes presented here though negative reflect the taste and preferences of the people presenting the stereotype. I think that Indonesia women are very feminine, wheras many western women appear to be feminist!

With regard to the original question of marrying here try http://expatforum.digitaldevelopment.com/

The indonesian expat forum has an excellent section on mixed marriages and good general info.

[Singkong]

Re: blueboyguru's description of "Indo women....crazier...than most. Possessive, untrusting..."

I'd add thoughtless. The ability to be cruel not intentionally so much as that she just does not think. Like the song: "She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden/Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding."

Oh, and they're a lot of fun, easy-going and enjoy a good laugh. I've just learnt not to put too much weight on professions of eternal devotion.

Btw, has anyone else noticed that there are just two basic themes in pop songs by Indonesian women? 1. "I love you, our love is eternal, nothing can come between us, our love will never die, yada yada yada"; and 2. "Why did you leave me you *beep*?"

As to all women being crazy... absolutely. As are men. We pursue women on the basis of external beauty; we get excited by machines; we enjoy watching people run around with a ball while we eat junk food. (Generalisations of course).

As long as we realise we're all crazy, and accept the fact, we're most of the way to getting along...

Though I may appear to be bitter, twisted and cynical, I'm actually looking forward to being back in Indo.

Singkong

[ronin]

[sidjameson]

I am not sure so can someone who is verify that the wife has to give permission for the husband to get a second wife. I would have to say that I think Islam is a sexist religion. I have read in the koran that it is ok for a man to hit his wife if she doesn't obey him so I can't see that she can both be the obeyer and the giver of consent.