Job Discussion Forums

johnslat · Posted: Mon May 19, 2003 2:07 pm Post subject: Put out the light

Dear Shonai Ben,
The Bard - oh, Lord. Well, let's see - he could play King Leer. Can't you just hear the soliloquy if he ever did HAMlet:

To BE or NOT to be.
THAT is THE question.

Nevertheless, I'd pay to see him do a Shakespearean tragedy. I mean, how many times do you get to laugh at, say, Macbeth? But then, I would have paid to see the Three Stooges do Othello, too.
Regards,
John

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

To BE..........or............Not to Be.
THAT is..........the Question. Wouldn't you say.......SPOCK?

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

Drifting from one character to the other:

To be or not to be
Scotty!The ship!
Damn,sorry.
That is the question.
Spock!Spock!What is it Spock??
Damn!
Sulu.Fire all phasers!!
Damn!
Checkof,full speed ahead.

And so it goes....

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

This is probably only funny for us.

johnslat · Posted: Mon May 19, 2003 2:28 pm Post subject:

Dear guest of Japan,
Well we can hardly be blamed if others lack our refined and sophisticated sense of humor.
Regards,
John
P. S. By the way - Tribbles - is that two bs or not two bs?

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

According to my Official Federation Guide to Known Living Entities it's Tribbles.

johnslat · Posted: Mon May 19, 2003 2:41 pm Post subject: Guess suicides's out

Dear guest of Japan,
Many thanks - because that IS the question, you know.
Regards,
John

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

My sense of humor is not as refined as I'd like it to be. That joke seemed to have found a worm hole and passed right by me.

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

Have any of you heard Shatner's "musical" recordings? At some point during his illustrious career, he branched out from acting. Included in his repertoire is a version of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," which he delivers in his signature pompous over-acting style. It's not exactly singing...hell, I'm not sure what it is, but it's very...emotional. Great late-night listening for the inebriated or lobotomized music lover.

For my favorite classic Star Trek episode, I'll vote for Ricardo Montalbon's appearance as Khan. "Rich Corinthian leather" aside, he was a great villain and darn sexy to boot. (Hope you gentlemen will pardon my sexism.) "Tribbles" and "Mudd" were stinkers. Although I prefer "The Next Generation," you have to give the original series props for being the first television show in the US to show an interracial kiss (between Kirk and Uhura of course--she should have held out for Spock).

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

Never heard his singing.I think I am lucky.Here's another tidbit of info on Shatner.They had to shave his chest before any scene that required him to take off his shirt.Apparently manly chest hair was frowned upon back in those days of tv.I do remember the famous kissing scene.Classic.

bnix · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 645

A very tepid imitation of Star Trek,in my estimation."Starring" Lorne Greene,also a Canadian,and probably known better for his role as Ben Cartwright on "Bonanza".
Oh,and aurioch(sp.?) was right about that episode of Star Trek involving the computer.It has been a long time since I saw it(or any original Star Trek episode,for that matter).

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

Actually I found the original star trek shows on Japanese tv a few times late at night.
Another tidbit about Shatner.During the making of one of the shows he suffered inner ear damage from an explosion in one of the scenes.He and Spock were fighting an unknown assailant and one of the blasts came to close to Shatner.It was the show where he had to fight the Gorn? a lizard-like green creature.
Lorne Greene was very popular on Bonanza.I grew up watching that show.

bnix · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 645

As far as I know,I cannot get Star Trek reruns here in Korea...at least in the small city where I am living.Strangely(and very happily) enough however,there are LOTS of English language movies on TV here...including some that might not ever make it to TV in the US.I am talking about movies like "Basketcase 3".

Also a somewhat strange(but good,in my opinion) movie .an Australian movie, "Pitch Dark' with Vin Diesel.It was released in cinemas in the US in about 2000,I think.I recently saw it agian on TV here in Korea.Has anyone else seen it?

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

Lots of English movies here in Japan too and uncut,so the nudity is still in the movie.
I saw that movie with Vin Diesel twice on tv here.I liked it too.

johnslat · Posted: Tue May 20, 2003 4:46 am Post subject: Top ten

Talk about coincidence - I got this today in my e-mail:

Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek

10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some
door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic
sliding doors. They're dead silent. If those doors went "wheet!" every time a person walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked your membership until you learn to master WD-40,
9. The Federation. This organization creeps me out. A planet-wide
government that runs everything, and that has abolished money. A veritable planetary DMV. Oh sure, it looks like a cool place when you're rocketing around in a Federation Starship, but I wonder how the guy driving a Federation dump truck feels about it?
And everyone has to wear those spandex uniforms. Here's an important
fact: Most people, you don't want to see them in spandex. You'd pay good money to not have to see them. If money hadn't been abolished, that is. So you're screwed.
8. Reversing the Polarity. For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the
polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it
just screws things up. I have it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that. Every time the Enterprise comes in for its
10,000 hour checkup, they've got to go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. "What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?" "Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity." Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it.
7. Seatbelts. Yeah, I know this one is overdone, but you'd think that
the first time an explosion caused the guy at the navigation station to fly over the captain's head with a good 8 feet of clearance, someone would say, "You know, we might think of inventing some futuristic restraining device to prevent that from happening." So of course, they did make something like that for the second Enterprise (the first one blew up due to poor lubrication), but what was it? A hard plastic thing that's locked over your thighs. Oh, I'll bet THAT feels good in the
corners. "Hey look! The leg-bars worked as advertised! There goes Kirk's torso!"
6. No fuses. Every time there's a power surge on the Enterprise the
various stations and consoles explode in a shower of sparks and throw their seatbelt-less operators over Picard's head. If we could get Giordi to stop reversing the polarity for a minute, we could get him to go shopping at the nearest Starship parts store and pick up a few fuses. And while he's shopping, he could stop at an intergalactic IKEA and pick up a few chairs for the bridge personnel. If you're going to put me in front of a fuse-less exploding console all day, the least you could do is let me sit down.
5. Rule by committee. Here's the difference between Star Trek and the
best SF show on TV last year:
Star Trek:
Picard: "Arm photon torpedoes!"
Riker: "Captain! Are you sure that's wise?"
Troi: "Captain! I'm picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it
appears that you're a 'fraidy cat."
Wesley: "Captain, I'm just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say
something."
Worf: "Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon
warrior chubby."

Giordi: "Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them
first."
Picard: "I'm so confused. I'm going to go to my stateroom and look
pensive."

Now here’s “ Firefly “:

Captain: "Let's shoot them."
Crewman: "Are you sure that's wise?"
Captain: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I'll
BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who's in command."
Crewman: "Aye AYE, sir!"

4. A Star Trek quiz: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and 'Ensign Gomez' beam down
to a planet. Which one isn't coming back?

3. Techno-babble. The other night, I couldn't get my car to start. I
solved the problem by reversing the polarity of the car battery, and routing the power through my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunneling effect that charged the protons in the engine core, thus starting my car. Child's play, really. As a happy side-effect, I also now get the Spice Channel for free.

2. The Holodeck. I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe
that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean.

1 The Prime Directive. How stupid is this? Remember when Marvin the
Martian was going to blow up the Earth, because it obstructed his view of Venus? And how Bugs Bunny stopped him by stealing the Illudium Q36 Space Modulator? Well, in the Star Trek universe, Bugs would be doing time. Probably in a room filled with Roseanne look-alikes wearing spandex uniforms, walking through doors going WHEET! all day. It would be hell. At least until the Kaboom. The Earth-shattering Kaboom.

Regards,
John