Job Discussion Forums

[R]

Me too, Ben. Nothing says 'mediocrity' like Salieri!!

[guest of Japan]

- dumber than 2 flat rocks

- That's a nice ________. Who gave it to you?

- genetically maladapted

- Do you still visit your family at the zoo?

- Of course I want to talk to you. My mother taught me to be nice to the intellectually challenged.

- If you wish to continue talking to me, please insert an additional 25 cents up your ***.

- Do I know you?

- Have you ever done anything right?

- Before I met you I never knew that you people could choose their favorite evolutionary step.

- Did your mother have any kids that lived?

- I'm sure it must be hard for you being....you know.

R. I like this avatar too.

[Shonai Ben]

More:
Knock yourself out.
Knock your socks off
Blow me down
Fill your boots
Well I'll be a horse's @ss
Put it where the sun don't shine
In a sh@tstorm
Built like a brick sh@thouse
Crazier than a sh@thouse rat

[Kent F. Kruhoeffer]

OK. Two more silly ones that have always been in my personal top 10:

"When you were born, you were so ugly the doctor slapped your mother."

"Here's a dime. Go call someone who gives a f*ck."

[biffinbridge]

Fat girls need love too.

[jud]

Actually, built like a brick sh*thouse is supposed to be a compliment. It means in great shape, can't knock it down.

The Salieri avatar made me think of my favourite music insult,

attributed to Beethoven:

"I like your opera very much. Perhaps I shall set it to music."

[Shaman]

Dumb as dirt.
Sharp as a marble.
Face like a half-chewed caramel.
So narrow-minded, s/he could look through a keyhole with both eyes.

[xnihil]

I can only please one person a day.

Today is not your day.

Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

[Africaexpert]

You made me think of one the nuns used to say frequently to children:

Where were you when God passed out brains?
and variations thereof.

[fluffhead]

if you run into nutters as much as I do, then you might like:

He/She is madder than a bag of cats.

He/She is sergeant-major of the barmy-army.

[Jojo]

Me likes this thread, ok ok, I had to add a few more

When becoming annoyed with someone (usually of the opposite sex)

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!"
"Take a chill pill"
"Get outta my face"
"Gag me with a spoon"
"Not in this lifetime"
"Ya think so, do ya"
"duh, no kidding"
"men are from mars, woman from venus"

[R]

A favourite from the film Heathers:

"Well, f*** me gently with a chainsaw!"

[M.K.]

Here are some difficult words to say when you are drunk:

Specificity
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
British Constitution

Now here are some impossible things to say when you are drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer
I'm not interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.

Cheers!
Melissa

[richard ame]

Hi Guys and whatever
How about
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your anal orfice
did you dress up like that for a dare ?
Hes so thick he thinks manual labour is a Spaniard
Do you go out of your way to be a *beep* or does it just come natural
Your true till death doth pen and ink
you smell like a cat s crawled up your arse and died .
Hello you look like shit is that the style now ?

[jud]

How about

May your right ear wither and fall into your left pocket.