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Super Mario
Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 1022
Location: Australia, previously China
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 Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:06 am Post subject: |
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Commonsensicle post, Clark.
When I think back on the "bad" things that happened to me over 5 years in China, they seem so inconsequential that I fail to see how I got upset over them.
The good things stand out like a dog's balls in the moonlight, however. |
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Babala
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 1303
Location: Henan
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:40 am Post subject: |
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| Some really great advice here. When I wrote this thread the point I wanted to make was that a teacher should do research before accepting a job. There seems to be many disgruntled FT's on here lately complaining about their contracts, hours, salary etc.. These are things they should done the homework on BEFORE agreeing to the contract. I also really don't understand FT's who have been here for more than 2 years and seem to jump from bad school to bad school. |
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Gregor
Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 842
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:04 am Post subject: |
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Louras wrote:
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| How do you stay so very positive. Please teach us that important life skill so that we all can become such content individuals as you seem to be. |
Well, that's what it is, isn't it? It's just a life skill. Just a positive outlook and some self-confidence. Don't have a chip on your shoulder. And remember that most of the trouble you are dealing with is culture shock. Asking "How do you stay positive?" is like asking "How do you put food in your mouth?" There is no how. You just do that, or you don't. That's easy to lose sight of (and a lot of people never, ever, in their whole lives, ever learn this simple fact of life, and their lives suck accordingly for it).
It's especially easy to lose sight of when you are dealing with culture shock - people, be aware that culture shock is not simply the source of amusing stories for when you get home. It taints every single thing that happens to you in the new country. Travellers sometimes complain about culture shock at least partially ruining their vacations. But when you live in a foreign country...man. It can be severe, even crippling. And it's easy to blame the problems on other things:
"The locals are always trying to screw me!"
"I can't believe how flippin' slow people walk! Why can't they just MOVE???"
SCREWED! I always get screwed! The locals care about NOTHING but THIER MONEY!"
"They drive like lunatics here! If I stay here any longer, I swear, I'm just going to get killed!"
"They're trying to screw me out of my accommodations!"
"I can't get a straight answer from anyone about anything around here!"
"Do NOT trust the locals!"
Those above complaints and many, many others are about culture shock, not some conspiracy to bring you to their country and rip you off. Or kill you in a vehicular incident, or annoy you with their walking pace, or anything else. Many of you reading this will be unwilling, maybe even unable, to admit this to yourselves. But it's the truth.
And here's another true fact - IF you admit this and learn to deal with it as a real thing, then the longer you stay here, the easier it gets. If you do NOT accept the culture shock thing and cope with it, then the longer you stay here, the worse it gets, the more angry you get, and the worse your overall experience is going to be.
Deny it if you like. But my experiences in China have been good overall, like Clark's. And I have only been here a fraction of the time he has (I learned the truth about culture shock in other places). |
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Louras
Joined: 24 Nov 2004
Posts: 288
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 12:31 pm Post subject: It's not culture shock |
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I have been living in Asia for a long time. India, Thailand, Taiwan etc. I believe I have adapted well. This, however, does not mean that I have started to take it for granted when I am not treated fairly. And by fairly I mean according to Western standards. I am from the West so deal with it!!! I do not subscribe to the theory that getting the short end of the stick is something to accept. Morals are the same everywhere. "Culture" is one thing but being cheated and lied to is another. All the people here, happy with how they are being treated, is commendable but they are giving up or compromising on their principles. I, for one, will not accept that all the games played by the locals are the way to go. China aspires to show the world how far they've come when the games begin in Beijing - how would this be possible if they have 100's of disgruntled FTs trying to teach students a way to talk with other nations?? Regardless of my postings here, I try to teach English. I am good at that (if you pardon my grammar and spelling  ) I will not be talked down to by the likes of ahole Roger or anybody else. My constant (and God is it constant  ) complaining is the result of what I've experienced - I'm not making this *beep* up. I enjoy teaching here and would like to continue doing it, but I would not let go of what I believe in. |
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Gregor
Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 842
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:02 pm Post subject: |
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Any newbies who have read this far - the above post is exactly what I was talking about. This can happen to you.
Culture shock is real, and it's insidious. Recognize it before you convince yourselves that it's really something else. |
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Pepsi-Bones
Joined: 03 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I must side with Louras and vikdk on this. It is a lottery here. Despite doing their homework, seasoned and experienced teachers have found themselves coming over here to work, having ironed out all the obvious details in advance - only to find further on down the line that their employers become less than ethical, professional or honest. How else can one explain the PSB in Guangdong investigating the language schools in Zhuhai and other cities? |
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Roger
Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 9138
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:47 pm Post subject: Re: It's not culture shock |
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| Louras wrote: |
| I ) I will not be talked down to by the likes of ahole Roger or anybody else. My constant (and God is it constant ) complaining is the result of what I've experienced - I'm not making this *beep* up. I enjoy teaching here and would like to continue doing it, but I would not let go of what I believe in. |
Hmm, Mr Louras: if you want us to respect you you must show respect to others...
Now I don't know how you are talking to your employers and colleagues but a casual perusal of your posts here shows that you are well inclined to starting trouble at your own discretion, and quite readily so...
I never knew your name until I noticed you were publicly blaming me for a number of ills that may or may not have befallen you.
I have certainly had my downs here too, and what downs! But surely there are positive experiences as well, aren't there? I have more of the latter than of the former, honestly, and if it wasn't true I would leave! No, I would have left long before!
Life here isn't all that bad. IT's as good as one makes it; how you lie is how you sleep!
Some folks learn that all those rights we routinely take for granted are luxuries designed by and for westerners; if you want to live a decent life in a developing country you must learn how to survive!
It will strike some as unbelievable but I have to say this: what turned me off among fellow westerners before I came here was the overeagerness at complaining and wailing! I had English and New Zealand colleagues who all thought me what you, Mr Louras so liberally call me here all the time, because I didn't feel I needed to blast employers for making more money than they gave me for my work! Yes, I deplore this class partisan warfare! I don't feel much solidarity with whiners!
I posit here you cause your own grief through your own negativity and nihilism!
Maybe a sojourn among Italians or Spaniards would teach you to take life from the sunny side! You need to be more optimistic! |
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clark.w.griswald
Joined: 06 Dec 2004
Posts: 2056
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:51 pm Post subject: Re: It's not culture shock |
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| Louras wrote: |
| This, however, does not mean that I have started to take it for granted when I am not treated fairly. And by fairly I mean according to Western standards. I am from the West so deal with it!!! |
I think that it is attitudes like this that are the source of problems for more than a few foreigners in China.
Yes, schools are employing us because we are foreigners, and therefore it is to a schools advantage to understand foreigners and the ways that we think. This does not mean however that this whole society should revolve around what we want and treat us differently. In fact, one of the things that I personally do not like about China is the fact that I am generally treated differently. Stared at on the street. Charged higher prices for some goods etc.
What is fair for you as a westerner may not even be considered by a local Chinese. How does this make them wrong and you right? I don't believe that it is a case of 'when in Rome' and I do believe that you have the right to act as you would back home, but I don't think that it is reasonable for you to expect Chinese people to change their whole way of thinking and the way that they do things just for your convenience. I am wondering if you give the same considerations to foreigners in your own country?
| Louras wrote: |
| Morals are the same everywhere. "Culture" is one thing but being cheated and lied to is another. |
What is it that you are talking about as being immoral and what lies and cheating are you referring to - particularly with schools? No one here is defending those minority of bad schools that choose to do the wrong thing by foreigners. What is not clear however is why people like yourself feel justified in slighting a whole society of people in the country that you choose to live in based upon three years worth of experiences?
So what are the specifics of your complaints as far as lies and cheating by schools?
| Louras wrote: |
| All the people here, happy with how they are being treated, is commendable but they are giving up or compromising on their principles. |
Where have I compromised on my principles? Do you know me? Where in my posts have I indicated this? Another generalization by you Louras.
Is that what you are about? If someone doesn't agree with you then they must be in the wrong and there must be some sinister reason for this behavior! Maybe you were wronged by some Chinese and therefore in your eyes 90% of Chinese schools are out to rip off foreign teachers  Some foreigners have had more positive experiences than yourself and therefore in your eyes these foreigners must be as morally bankrupt as you believe the people in China are
I think that it becoming clear exactly why you have developed the opinion about China that you have. It is like a snowball effect, and it is just growing and growing!
| Louras wrote: |
| I, for one, will not accept that all the games played by the locals are the way to go. |
No one is asking you to accept it if you don't want to. Feel free to fight the 'injustices', but I can pretty much assure you that you will get so caught up in this negativity that you will poison your own experience here in China. This is your choice and you are welcome to it, but don't come here and poison the well with your negative generalizations that are not supported by any evidence.
| Louras wrote: |
| how would this be possible if they have 100's of disgruntled FTs trying to teach students a way to talk with other nations?? |
Another negative generalization unsupported by facts. Where are these hundreds of disgruntled teachers that you refer to? Do you know them personally? If not then how do you know that they exist? If you put together all of the complaints posted about Chinese schools on the internet over the last three years you would probably have about complaints from about 40-50 teachers. We can probably double that number to take into account teachers who never posted about their experiences. So that means around 100 teachers who have complaints about schools here. Of those, probably around 30% had legitimate complaints about schools, while the other 70% were just venting, or were complaining about stuff that could pretty well be put down to misunderstandings. So we have around 30 legitimate complaints about schools in China over the last three years. How many foreign teacher taught in China during this same period - probably several thousand! So we are talking about a legitimate complaint rate of probably around 1-2 %, well short of the 90% you suggested earlier in this thread. All just guesstimates of course but far short of your 'hundreds of teachers'. What is your source for your claim? |
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clark.w.griswald
Joined: 06 Dec 2004
Posts: 2056
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Bibel wrote: |
| If a school doesn't want to answer these questions then it should raise a red flag or two. I have sent out resumes and then shortly after receive an email saying "great, we want to hire you !!". Then I will send back an email asking for detailed answers to some of the questions I have, to fill the holes so to speak. Many times I did not get an answer to these questions, and I felt relived to have scratched them off the list. |
Of course if you have a question you should get it answered before you sign up.
I think however that you may be turning your back on possible good positions if you think that lack of answers to these questions automatically indicates that the school doesn't want to answer. In my experience, often the FAO's English ability is not high enough for them to either understand your question or know how to answer it. Therefore their lack of an answer may not automatically indicate that you are trying to hide something.
You certainly need an answer to your questions and as such I woud just include any unanswered question in my next correspondence with the school so that they can't avoid answering it.
Of course if you are having a contract pushed under your nose before your questions have been answered then you need to tell them that you would like your questions answered first before you sign. If they don't agree to that then you are probably wise to look elsewhere. |
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Louras
Joined: 24 Nov 2004
Posts: 288
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:19 am Post subject: Not Roger and Millie |
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This is my last word on this topic.
Louras wrote:
This, however, does not mean that I have started to take it for granted when I am not treated fairly. And by fairly I mean according to Western standards. I am from the West so deal with it!!!
I think that it is attitudes like this that are the source of problems for more than a few foreigners in China.
Yes, schools are employing us because we are foreigners, and therefore it is to a schools advantage to understand foreigners and the ways that we think. This does not mean however that this whole society should revolve around what we want and treat us differently. Did not say that.In fact, one of the things that I personally do not like about China is the fact that I am generally treated differently. Stared at on the street. Charged higher prices for some goods etc.
What is fair for you as a westerner may not even be considered by a local Chinese. How does this make them wrong and you right? From my perspective it is wrong .I don't believe that it is a case of 'when in Rome' and I do believe that you have the right to act as you would back home, but I don't think that it is reasonable for you to expect Chinese people to change their whole way of thinking (who said anything about"whole way of thinking"?)and the way that they do things just for your convenience. I am wondering if you give the same considerations to foreigners in your own country?
Louras wrote:
Morals are the same everywhere. "Culture" is one thing but being cheated and lied to is another.
What is it that you are talking about as being immoral and what lies and cheating are you referring to - particularly with schools? YES.No one here is defending those minority of bad schools that choose to do the wrong thing by foreigners. What is not clear however is why people like yourself feel justified in slighting a whole society of people in the country that you choose to live in based upon three years worth of experiences?
So what are the specifics of your complaints as far as lies and cheating by schools? If you had read my posts over here you would have known what I was referring to. You are suggesting I'm making stuff up for the fun of it.
Louras wrote:
All the people here, happy with how they are being treated, is commendable but they are giving up or compromising on their principles.
Where have I compromised on my principles? Do you know me? Thank God, no Where in my posts have I indicated this? Another generalization by you Louras.
Is that what you are about? If someone doesn't agree with you then they must be in the wrong and there must be some sinister reason for this behavior! Where did I say this?Maybe you were wronged by some Chinese and therefore in your eyes 90% of Chinese schools are out to rip off foreign teachers Rolling Eyes Some foreigners have had more positive experiences than yourself and therefore in your eyes these foreigners must be as morally bankrupt What are you talking about? Where did I say anybody is morally bankrupt?as you believe the people in China are Rolling Eyes
I think that it becoming clear exactly why you have developed the opinion about China that you have. Why??? It is like a snowball effect, and it is just growing and growing!
Louras wrote:
I, for one, will not accept that all the games played by the locals are the way to go.
No one is asking you to accept it if you don't want to. Feel free to fight the 'injustices', but I can pretty much assure you that you will get so caught up in this negativity that you will poison your own experience here in China. This is your choice and you are welcome to it, but don't come here and poison the well with your negative generalizations that are not supported by any evidence. Yeah, sorry mate. I made it all up for the sake of hemlock in the well........
Louras wrote:
how would this be possible if they have 100's of disgruntled FTs trying to teach students a way to talk with other nations??
Another negative generalization unsupported by facts. Where are these hundreds of disgruntled teachers that you refer to? Do you know them personally? Don't be silly.No, I don't. What I do know is every single foreigner I've met over here complained about their employers for the same reasons If not then how do you know that they exist? If you put together all of the complaints posted about Chinese schools on the internet over the last three years you would probably have about complaints from about 40-50 teachers. We can probably double that number to take into account teachers who never posted about their experiences. So that means around 100 teachers who have complaints about schools here. Of those, probably around 30% had legitimate complaints about schools, while the other 70% were just venting, or were complaining about stuff that could pretty well be put down to misunderstandings. So we have around 30 legitimate complaints about schools in China over the last three years. How many foreign teacher taught in China during this same period - probably several thousand! So we are talking about a legitimate complaint rate of probably around 1-2 %, well short of the 90% you suggested earlier in this thread. All just guesstimates of course but far short of your 'hundreds of teachers'. What is your source for your claim? And your little arithmatic is not a guestimate? Give me a break
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Gregor
Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 842
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 3:25 am Post subject: |
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Bibel wrote:
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| If a school doesn't want to answer these questions then it should raise a red flag or two. I have sent out resumes and then shortly after receive an email saying "great, we want to hire you !!". Then I will send back an email asking for detailed answers to some of the questions I have, to fill the holes so to speak. Many times I did not get an answer to these questions, and I felt relived to have scratched them off the list. |
And then Clark wrote:
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Of course if you have a question you should get it answered before you sign up.
I think however that you may be turning your back on possible good positions if you think that lack of answers to these questions automatically indicates that the school doesn't want to answer. In my experience, often the FAO's English ability is not high enough for them to either understand your question or know how to answer it. Therefore their lack of an answer may not automatically indicate that you are trying to hide something. |
I agree with both of these things. I have been in China for a little while, my Chinese is coming along, and my wife is Chinese, so that helps to smooth out any communication problems.
A newbie, though, even just new to China, may not want to go that route. In fact, I would strongly suggest erring on the side of caution, as Bibel suggests. Because if the FAO doesn't speak very good English and the school/company/recruiter/whatever can't find someone to do the job of communicating who DOES speak good English, then the teacher is almost 100% sure to have a serious communication problem throughout the contract, and is likely to turn out like Louras, or at the very least have his kind of experience in China.
That would be a shame. Because it does not have to be like that at all.
Chinese FAO jobs, requiring communication with English-speaking-only teacher candidates, should go to people capable of doing that job. They don't always.
This is quite obviously stupid.
As long as they continue to find warm bodies willing to take the contracts, though, this phenomenon will continue.
If you can't talk to the people you are dealing with well enough to get your questions answered, then tell the person you are talking to that very thing, and don't take the job! This seems obvious to me. This may be a big part of the reason that people sometimes have such bad experiences - they don't know what's going on, and they can't get things sorted out. Maybe they DO get screwed, but it's not malicious - it's simply people not knowing what the other is thinking/trying to say.
Hell, folks, here, today, I have a fantastic example of just how this sort of thing happens.
I have a teacher. I gave him Thursday and Friday off. Two days in a row! I don't even have to do that.
Ain't I a great boss??
What I forgot was that he had a new class start LAST week on Friday, after I had posted that schedule. For last week. So when I made THIS week's schedule, I forgot about that and failed to give him two days off.
Ain't I just EVIL???
Really, now. I will cop to being a little slack. That was my screw-up. I got lazy and made a mistake. I'll admit this. But I will not admit to any intentional abuse of a teacher or breach of contract, though the teacher could easliy have flown off the handle and accused me of exactly those things.
Fortunately, I speak English and so does the teacher. The teacher came to me and said, "Uhh...Gregor..." And I said, "HA! Whoops! Hoo! Ho! Sorry, man! Hey! Here's a lolipop. Take Wednesday and Thursday instead, I'll cover for ya. My bad."
Problem solved.
How many problems exactly like that get exacerbated in China by poor communication?
A LOT OF THEM. |
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clark.w.griswald
Joined: 06 Dec 2004
Posts: 2056
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:32 am Post subject: Re: Not Roger and Millie |
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Fine Louras, if you don't like the terminology that I used, but it does not take away from the points that I was making and the questions that I was asking.
| Louras wrote: |
| This does not mean however that this whole society should revolve around what we want and treat us differently. Did not say that. |
Your posts clearly indicated that you feel that the Chinese school staff should accommodate your requirements. I don�t agree that they should. As I stated in my post I think that it would be unreasonable of them to employ a foreigner and then treat him or her as if they were a Chinese, but I certainly don�t believe that there is any problem in Chinese staff dealing with us in the way that they are accustomed to.
| Louras wrote: |
| What is fair for you as a westerner may not even be considered by a local Chinese. How does this make them wrong and you right? From my perspective it is wrong . |
How so?
| Louras wrote: |
| I don't believe that it is a case of 'when in Rome' and I do believe that you have the right to act as you would back home, but I don't think that it is reasonable for you to expect Chinese people to change their whole way of thinking (who said anything about"whole way of thinking"?)and the way that they do things just for your convenience. I am wondering if you give the same considerations to foreigners in your own country? |
I believe that this was the jist of what you posted but if you don�t agree that it was then feel free to clarify.
| Louras wrote: |
| What is it that you are talking about as being immoral and what lies and cheating are you referring to - particularly with schools? YES. |
This is not really a Yes / No question! I was asking what you consider to be immoral about the way Chinese do things, and what lies and cheating you were referring to in your own experience.
| Louras wrote: |
| So what are the specifics of your complaints as far as lies and cheating by schools? If you had read my posts over here you would have known what I was referring to. You are suggesting I'm making stuff up for the fun of it. |
In answer to your question No I don�t think that. The purpose of my question was to try and understand what you consider from your experience to have been deliberate deceipt as opposed to what others may feel were misunderstandings. Feel free to let us know as it is relevant.
| Louras wrote: |
| Is that what you are about? If someone doesn't agree with you then they must be in the wrong and there must be some sinister reason for this behavior! Where did I say this? |
It is certainly the jist of your posting on this board. You complain about Chinese schools and call them dishonest based upon the fact that they do not act in a way that you consider to be fair. Then on this forum you accuse foreigners who don�t agree with you as having lost their own conscience. I think it pretty clear that you feel that you are morally correct and that the rest of us are wrong. I don�t agree with this.
| Louras wrote: |
| Maybe you were wronged by some Chinese and therefore in your eyes 90% of Chinese schools are out to rip off foreign teachers Rolling Eyes Some foreigners have had more positive experiences than yourself and therefore in your eyes these foreigners must be as morally bankrupt What are you talking about? Where did I say anybody is morally bankrupt?as you believe the people in China are Rolling Eyes |
Quite clearly this was your meaning even if it is not your terminology. But once again, if you feel that I have misunderstood your earlier post then feel free to outline what your real beliefs are on the matter.
| Louras wrote: |
| I think that it becoming clear exactly why you have developed the opinion about China that you have. Why??? It is like a snowball effect, and it is just growing and growing! |
Because negativity and pessimism begets negativity and pessimism. As someone else on this thread has already stated, you get from your China experience what you are willing to give to it. If you choose to live in your cocoon of the west is best and the Chinese are all dishonest and wrong then that is what you will likely find. You asked me earlier how I manage to be so positive about my experience in China. Well I got over what you are currently going through and if you really want to enjoy your time here then I encourage you to do the same. One thing is for sure, and that is that your bitterness is not going to improve your experience of China!
| Louras wrote: |
| Where are these hundreds of disgruntled teachers that you refer to? Do you know them personally? Don't be silly.No, I don't. What I do know is every single foreigner I've met over here complained about their employers for the same reasons |
That is what people all around the world do. They complain about their work and they complain about their employers. Are you suggesting that this is a foreign teacher in China phenomenon? It happens back home too you know! Also, just because an employee complains does it mean that the employer is automatically wrong? Of course not. Finally, even if most would agree that the employer is in the wrong, does that necessarily equate to malicious intent on behalf of the employer? Again, of course not.
You originally posted in this thread something along the lines of 90% of schools are out to rip foreign teachers off, I disagreed. Yet the best that you can come up with to support this contention is the fact that everyone you know gripes about their employer!
| Louras wrote: |
And your little arithmatic is not a guestimate? Give me a break
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Yes, guesstimate is the word that I used. I accept that it is not fact nor did I portray it as being fact. I stated quite clearly that it was a guess. It is however a guess based upon some considerable experience in receiving and dealing with complaints from foreign teachers over a length of time here. This is where my opinion originates. Yours seems to originate from the gripes of others.
| Gregor wrote: |
| A newbie, though, even just new to China, may not want to go that route. In fact, I would strongly suggest erring on the side of caution, as Bibel suggests. Because if the FAO doesn't speak very good English and the school/company/recruiter/whatever can't find someone to do the job of communicating who DOES speak good English, then the teacher is almost 100% sure to have a serious communication problem throughout the contract, and is likely to turn out like Louras, or at the very least have his kind of experience in China. |
Agreed. A newbie would probably be best served to follow Bibel's advice rather than mine if they were uncertain. |
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erinyes
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 272
Location: GuangDong, GaoZhou
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:10 am Post subject: |
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Hell, folks, here, today, I have a fantastic example of just how this sort of thing happens.
I have a teacher. I gave him Thursday and Friday off. Two days in a row! I don't even have to do that.
Ain't I a great boss??
What I forgot was that he had a new class start LAST week on Friday, after I had posted that schedule. For last week. So when I made THIS week's schedule, I forgot about that and failed to give him two days off.
Ain't I just EVIL???
Really, now. I will cop to being a little slack. That was my screw-up. I got lazy and made a mistake. I'll admit this. But I will not admit to any intentional abuse of a teacher or breach of contract, though the teacher could easliy have flown off the handle and accused me of exactly those things.
Fortunately, I speak English and so does the teacher. The teacher came to me and said, "Uhh...Gregor..." And I said, "HA! Whoops! Hoo! Ho! Sorry, man! Hey! Here's a lolipop. Take Wednesday and Thursday instead, I'll cover for ya. My bad."
Problem solved.
How many problems exactly like that get exacerbated in China by poor communication? |
Oh - this is so true.
"You have a class in 2 hours, you must go."
This is different from
"Oh dear, we are sorry - but someone made a mistake, could you manage to come and teach this lesson, we really need you. It's in 2 hours!"
Many of the problems here arise from the fact that Chinese people have a HUGE problem with admitting someone made a mistake, and something went wrong. In fact MANY things go wrong, but admitting it... you know FACE.
So we get pissed because it seems to be TOTALLY and UTTERLY disrespecting us. But it probably isn't. However, sometimes it really is.
One day I lost my mobile phone in the school, I called it, but the finder of the phone kept on hanging it up. Still a month after the finder is still using my same sim card - answering the phone once in a while. Some of my Chinese friends have also called the number and told him to give the phone back, told him who I am etc. Sent SMS messages in Chinese etc etc. I'm really very angry that they know whose it is but won�t give it back. So anyway - I told a teacher how angry I was, and she said "it doesn't matter because you are rich." At first this really pissed me off (although I didn't say anything) why should it not matter just because I can buy another phone, theft is still wrong. I even thought she might be resentful of the fact that I have more money than she does. However this teacher (as Chinese people do) was trying to make me feel better, and see how it didn't matter. Like their saying "the old must go so the new can come." She really was just trying to make me feel better by finding a reason why it didn't matter. That was the reason she found.
So - Poor communication and culture can make us pissed when we shouldn't be. |
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Babala
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 1303
Location: Henan
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:42 am Post subject: |
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erinyes,
You made a very good point. How many teachers choose to just fly off the handle when they are told anything they don't like instead of taking the time to talk it out. |
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