Job Discussion Forums

rvsensei · Joined: 16 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: Los Angeles,CA

I got married 3 and a half years ago to my japanese wife. BEfore I asked her to marry me, I told her if she was willing to live in the U.S.? She said yes, she would follow me wherever. I told her I was not willing to live in Japan the rest of my life, I wanted to go back someday. We moved back to the states in 2003 as my dad was dying with cancer and my mom passed last year. I am open to moving back to Japan as long as I work at an international school, I don't think I want to teach EFL anymore.

We have a kid now and at times I wonder if we get in a major fight, she can just go back to Japan anytime. You have to think about children, lifestyle, your partner's family,etc when deciding to marry. Luckily my wife can work here in the states, she is bilingual and has a B.A from an American university.

Sherri · Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 5:13 pm Post subject:

Other important considerations are about where in your home country you move to and how "Japanese-friendly" it is.

Think about:

is there a Japanese community in the area you are moving to? That is, will everyone stare at your spouse because he or she is different (or your kids)?

how easily can you buy Japanese food?

can you get Japanese TV on cable?

Having these 3 things makes life so much easier for us.

Best
Sherri

taikibansei · Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Posts: 811 Location: Japan

abufletcher · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:42 am Post subject:

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Wow Sherri, when I read your list and reversed it, now I know why living in Japan is so difficult because I have to answer No for all of them.
Happily we are getting satellite in 2 weeks time, a sort of celebration.

Sherri · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 4:38 am Post subject:

Wow, Gordon, I can't believe you have lasted this long without satellite. I had skyperfect while in Japan (and direct TV before that), it was pretty easy to buy western food in Tokyo so those two "requirements" were satisfied. I think for me, it was the first one that I couldn't deal with, (even in Tokyo) I got tired of the stares and being an object of interest everywhere I went.

Regards
Sherri

abufletcher · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:11 am Post subject:

It was the starring that got my daughter down as well and she was happy for the physical anonymity of Southern Cal.

We ended up getting cable after about 4 years because I started to think that the kids needed to be surrounded by more English. Of course I ordered all the "educational" channels plus news plus a couple of movie channels. But after a while I just got so sick of all the program promos which seem to occupy at least 20 minutes out of every hours of programming. Plus we ended up watching the same exact show like a million times. And most of the stuff on the Discovery "science" channel was just the worse sort of pop-culture rehash ("quasi-science for idiots").

Since my wife is Mexican and can make corn and flour tortillas from scratch I was set in terms of getting my fix of Mexican food. Provided of course I was willing to physically manhandle 20+ kilos of corn masa back from the US on each annual trip! Very Happy

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

That's a small price to pay for authentic Mexican.
Yes, skyperfect it soon will be, 66 channels for 3500yen. It would have been a huge distraction from my masters, but soon that will not need to be a problem.

Sherri · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:06 am Post subject:

The masters---I am getting close to finishing. My deadline (for the dissertation) is the end of March. I usually work at night--like now--when the kids are in bed, then I allow myself some sweet TV time as a reward. I did the same in Japan, taping my fav show and watching after I did my writing. Best get to work now.
Sherri

johanne · Joined: 18 Apr 2003 Posts: 189

I have to agree with the words of advice about where exactly in the states you live. We lived in Vancouver and no one ever gave us a second glance. However when we went to Florida to visit my grandmother each year it was a different story. There he had a hard time ordering in restaurants as people didn't seem to understand him (this was very frustrating for him as he speaks relatively clearly and never had this problem in Vancouver or Seattle, which we visited frequently for basebasll games). Also the hotel clerk questioned him about whether he was really staying there when he tried to us the beach access. I had to come down and confirm that he was. We never would have lasted 2 weeks there, much less the 7 years we spent in Vancouver. Now in Yokohama, I feel I've found a part of Japan I can be very comfortable in. No one seems to notice me or my daughter, who looks quite Japanese with dark hair and eyes, but who is obviously "half". We just go about our business much as we did in Canada - so far no real problems. I'm even the one with the name on our apartment rental contract as I have the better paying job. Sherri, what kind of problems did you have in Tokyo? I would have thought you would have blended in as just another foreigner among thousands, but I guess that wasn't the case.

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

I had sky perfect when I lived in a really rural area, but I gave it up due to frustration at never getting to watch the American football games I wanted to watch within two weeks of their game time, Simpsons overdose, kotatsu overdose, and exorbitant cost. If anyone wants the dish, it's sitting in a box st the bottom of the stairs. Come get it.

Sherri · Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:45 am Post subject:

mrjohndub · Joined: 19 Sep 2005 Posts: 198 Location: Saitama, Japan

From what has been intimated on this forum in the past few months regarding marriage to Japanese women, I can say with certainty that I will never go that route. It makes me not even want to date them. On one hand, thanks for the heads up. On the other hand, thanks for the head's up.