Job Discussion Forums

johnslat · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:53 am Post subject: Millions of cannibals

Dear Panama Teacher,
" . . .would you hunt your prey . . . ".
Ah, but now that's " moving the goalposts ". Eating someone who died in an accident ( see " Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors " )

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/038000321X/104-5294280-6399945?vi=glance

or of natural causes is one thing, but killing someone else to survive opens up a much more serious moral/ethical question. No, I pretty sure I wouldn't - although it's always iffy to try to give definite answers to hypothetical situations. Interesting, though, that when believers in transubstantiation take Holy Communion ( " This in my body; this is my blood " ), they are being cannibals. Good thing I'm an agnostic - if not a vegetarian.
Regards,
John

PanamaTeacher · Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama

Now that I know more about you if I ever visit you for tea, I'll be careful if you offer me any ladyfingers.

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

PT:
I would be careful also if he offers you "red" wine. Laughing

PanamaTeacher · Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama

John--Folks are on to you. When you have a friend for dinner, your guest never leaves. Like the roach motel: they check in, but they never check out.

johnslat · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 2:55 pm Post subject: Guess who's coming for dinner?

Dear Shonai Ben and Panama Teacher,
Ah lads - how I'd love to meat ( whoops, little " Freudian slip " there ).
I meant, of course, MEET you both. Perhaps you can come for dinner. But until then, wy not take this test and see how YOU rate as potential " Hannibals ":

http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.clara.net%2Fkrisn%2Fpurity%2Fhannibal.html%3Fquestions%3Dq1%26questions%3Dq16%26questions%3Dq44

By the way, isn't Lecter's last name interesting? It suggests the word " delectable " and means, of course, " reader " in French, which also has the implication that we, the readers, are not so different from the good doctor.

" You! hypocrite lecteur!--mon semblable,--mon frere! "
The Wasteland - T.S. Eliot

Regards,
Your brother, John

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

According to the test, I'm 26.00% serial killer--that doesn't seem so bad, especially not when you consider that I'm too lazy to do all the work required to make a successful career of it. Scores, ladies and gentlemen?

Okay, John, time to tell the truth about that "Island Chicken" recipe you so graciously shared with us...was chicken a substitute for another ingredient (one that may be easy to acquire but difficult to get away with using)?

zakiah25 · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 155 Location: Oman

You're right Irish or maybe "Island Chicken" was originally "Desert Camel". Gosh, I'd better check on Manfred - we're only a couple of hundred miles from Saudi Arabia and you never know who might slip across the border.
Anyway, John - what's all this talk about eating dogs and people? Shouldn't you be busy packing your toothbrush for your return to Utopia?

bnix · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 645

Thomas Harris's Hannibal the Cannibal(Hannibal Lecter) is certainly one of the most grisly fictional villains ever...his "tastes" are explained in the book by the same name....his sister was slain and eaten in Lithuania during the closing days of World War II.
Another Harris villain,Jaime Gumb"Buffalo Bill" was a pretty grisly villain too, not to mention the guy in "Red Dragon".

Interesting how this thread devolved from an account of dogs which sniff out cadavers to cannibalism.

Other incidents that come to mind are the ill-fated Donner Party in the 1800's(people stranded in the snow ended up eating some of their fellows.

Also...Michael Rockefeller, who went to New Guinea ,disappeared and was reportedly seized and eaten by some of the natives there.I won't go into the the resulting jokes about that...in very poor taste..although a little funny,to tell the truth.

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

That's right, Zakiah! I'd nearly forgotten about John's escape, er, departure from the KSA. I wonder if he's planning on having any of his less-than-beloved colleagues from IPA round to his place for a farewell dinner before he goes. Perhaps scot47 will drop in for a bite.

johnslat · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 4:24 am Post subject: To serve mankind

Dear zakiah25 and Irish,
Alas, all my friends and colleagues have already fled - uh, departed - the Kingdom, on their various ways. I alone remain to tell the tale. And scot47's frolicing ( now there's a mental image to boggle the mind ) in Bulgaria, with the oh-so-obedient females of his clan. I have 4 more days yet here, but my larder is well-stocked ( with what, I prefer not to say ).
I'm told ( having, of course, no personal experience ) that human meat tastes remarkably like pig ( thus, the euphenism: " long-pig " ), which would probably make it forbidden here, anyway. But Irish, if I recall correctly, isn't there a long, historical tradition of cannibalism there in the Islands? Just what are YOU serving at your July 4th luau?
Regards,
John

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

Of all the topics discussed so far, the image of a frolicking scot47 is truly the most mind-boggling. But I've no doubt that the women are keeping him happy with their "obedience" (here defined as deciding what they want to do then convincing him that it was his idea in the first place). If he doesn't stop bragging about them, his inbox will be flooded with PMs from lonely backpackers wanting to know where they can find similarly beautiful and obedient lasses or--horror of horrors!--if he has any eligible daughters.

Steiner · Joined: 21 Apr 2003 Posts: 573 Location: Hunan China

Go away for the week and you miss a lot on Dave's. Dog is good. The dog I've had is tender and oh-so-tasty. But I can't eat it because I keep thinking about cute little puppies as I stare at my bowl. I've also been told that the dogs in the market aren't good to eat because a lot of them have been poisoned.

My students love it when I tell them that to many English speakers, "dog is man's best friend." Thus, eating a dog is like eating your best friend. Which brings me around to cannabalism (very nicely, too).

John, if I may move the goalposts again.... If you were starving in, say, a lifeboat, and the choice was either to eat your own leg or to die of hunger...?

And finally, an old cannibal joke:
Two anthropologists were caught by a group of cannibals. As they are standing in a big pot of water over a fire, the one begins to laugh. "What's so funny?" says the other.
"Well, I just peed in their soup!"

johnslat · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 6:50 pm Post subject: Legs for Life

Dear Steiner,
Your question reminded me of a news story from about a month ago:

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/state/article/0,1299,DRMN_21_1932157,00.html

Now that guy, I'd say, had true grit. So, would I eat my own leg rather than die of hunger? You betcha - providing could stifle the " gag reflex ".
But say no rescue comes after that. Would I eat my other leg? Probably not, because then I wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And your question triggered another memory, from Greek mythology and recorded in Ovid's
" Metamorphoses ":

" Erysichthon was a vain and boastful man: He paid little attention to what other people said or thought. He paid even less attention to the gods. Erysichthon always did exactly as he pleased.

One day he and his servants went into the woods to look for; firewood. In the middle of a small grove, he spotted a fine, strong oak tree."That's the tree I want!" Erysichthon shouted. He turned to his servants. "Cut it down right now."

But the servants would not even go near the oak. "Master, we cannot cut that tree," one of them said. "It belongs to the goddess Demeter. You cannot take her tree."

Erysichthon laughed at them. "Foolish, frightened little men! Give me that ax! We will see who's afraid of Demeter!"

Erysichthon picked up the ax and swung it. He made a deep cut in the trunk of the oak. As he pulled the ax out of the tree, the servants screamed in terror. Bright red blood was pouring from the cut! But Erysichthon ignored the strange blood. He continued swinging hisax. In a shorttime,theoak fell to the ground. "This will be enough firewood for a week," said Erysichthon proudly. He then carried the blood-soaked wood home with him.

It wasn't long before Demeter found out what had happened to her favorite tree. In anger she called upon the terrible Famine to punish Erysichthon.

"Stay with Erysichthon day and night Demeter commanded. "No matter how much he eats, it will never be enough. He will starve even as he fills himself with food." Famine did as Demeter ordered. She went to Erysichthon that very night and breathed her hunger into his body.

The next morning Erysichthon noticed that he was very hungry. He ate four dozen eggs, eight cheeses, and six legs of lamb. But the more he ate, the more he wanted. Erysichthon spent the entire day eating, yet he could not fill himself.

Each day passed in the same way. Erysichthon ate all of the time, but still he starved. He sold his land, his animals, and everything else he owned to buy food. But it was never enough. In desperation, he sold his daughter to a ship's captain as a slave. The frightened girl pleaded with her father, but he would not listen. "Do as I tell you. Go down to the shore and wait forthe captain. Don't bother me any more with your crying."

As the daughter stood on the shore, she prayed to Poseidon for help. "Great god of the sea, please save me from this terrible fate."

From deep in the ocean, Poseidon heard the girl. He was angered that she should have to pay for her father's mistake. In pity, he turned her into a fisherman. When the ship's captain arrived, all he found was an old man with a bucket of fish. Believing his slave had escaped, the captain quickly left.

The girl soon regained her own form. She returned to her father and told him what had happened. "My daughter, that is wonderful news!" the starving man cried. "Now I can sell you again for even more money!"

Erysichthon sold his daughter many times. Each time Poseidon turned her into something else and she was saved.

But Erysichthon could still not buy enough food to fill himself. His body grew weaker and weaker. He ate all day, but he was starving to death.

One day all the food in the house was gone. Erysichthon began to go insane with hunger. In desperation, he turned upon his own body. He chewed hungrily at his arms and legs until at last Death freed him from his torture. "

So, as you can see, this eating of oneself is a dead end street. There's just no future in it.
Regards,
John

C76 · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 6:57 pm Post subject:

PanamaTeacher · Joined: 26 Jun 2003 Posts: 278 Location: Panama

C 76 OK you wouldn't eat a dog. Have you dated any?

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John--You are the king, buddy. What am I going to do when you're gone. I guess I could go through all your posts. Were you always this funny.

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Steiner--I saw your picture. You better stay away from cannibals cause you look like an all you can eat buffet in Vegas. They'd have leftovers forever.