Job Discussion Forums

[grwit]

Nobody has mentioned food yet!!!

I agree with all the other posts but a bit of my culture shock came from a completely new diet.

Tedkarma wrote

[danielita]

[Ariadne]

I agree with drwit, diet was a big part of my adjustment to China. I ate like crazy and loved the food, but I lost alot of weight and that affected how my clothes fit...they didn't. It wasn't just diet of course, I walked instead of driving and lived in a 5th floor walkup. There are often some fundamental lifestyle changes involved in a move to a new country that we don't really realize until we're there.

In my opinion it's a good thing to read up before you take off. Spitting would have been even worse if I hadn't known to expect it. That way if ..whatever.. happens, you are ready. If it doesn't happen you can just say to yourself that all those folks didn't know what they were talking about.

It's obvious, but I'll say it anyway.. everyone has a different experience. It drives some folks crazy to be stared at, others are just amused. Some people get mad when they are asked to do things last minute, others do whatever, whenever, and others just say no.

It takes a lot of effort to communicate when folks don't have the same native language. (Duh!!) Your mind and body can become quite weary. Expect it to happen. Expect to sleep more (or maybe less). I enjoy chatting regularly with other FT's cause it is so fun to be able to talk at a normal speed and to be able to use subtle humor, slang, and idioms (without having to explain every word). Dave's provides a real lifeline!

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[Rin]

All the men out there will have to excuse me, but I'm just being honest. The hardest culture adjustments for me has been the men, both Western and Asian.

While living in Canada I never saw my gender or my ethnic background (which is a white western woman) as an issue. I never felt it in Europe either. But since moving to Korea and now to the Middle East I am starting to realize the limitations and sterotypes imposed on my gender. Everything from how I dress, to how loudly I speak, or how I walk is watched and commented on.

In Korea I was sent home for wearing a skirt that was (just) above my knees, my female Korean co-worker was allowed to wear one that just barley covered her @ss.

I have been asked how much I cost, called a western *beep*, told that Canadian girls are easy and will do anything as soon as you meet them, been punched several times in the face by an American after politely refusing a drink at a bar, helped another girl after she had been repeatedly kicked by another Western guy, been forced to cover my hair and wear ankle length skirts and wrist length shirts in 40 degree heat, etc, etc.

I am not complaining about the natives of the countries I've lived, those are the facts of life in Korea and the Middle East, I choose to live here, I choose to adapt, simple as that.

My only complaint is the Western men who adapt to these cultures and think its ok to treat women the way Korean and Islamic men treat women. It is not. And they know better.

[tedkarma]

I think that my wife has endured all that you have - and more - with five years in Saudi Arabia and 2.5 years in Korea. But, somehow, she hasn't blamed it all on "Western and Asian men".

Somewhere in the mix we have to attribute some of it to culture. And, my belief is that the more women are educated - the less they will put up with such cr*p. So . . . come on women! Get in there and help get these ladies educated!

There are, of course, some really stupid people (including men) out there. But, this life can work for women as well as for men.

[Rin]

[Rin]

And as for education, the women of Qatar are far more educated than the men. Recent studies show that for every 46 men in university there are 100+ women. I've heard similar statistics from Korea and the rest of Asia. The problem is not in educating the women anymore, ithey know what they want, the problem is educating the men.

A women can go out and march and speak out for women's rights, but at the end of the day, if the men in power won't change the laws and the women goes home to have her face punched in by her husband, there's not a whole hell of a lot that she can do.

[schminken]

I live in Europe and really thought I'd have not that many problems adjusting to life here. But the mentality here is really different and I find myself going through the stages of culture shock again and again.

1. Language - I knew German before I came to live here and can't imagine living here without knowing it. You couldn't survive in everyday life. However, I look at expats that come here knowing very little German and they seem to have an easier time than I do. Why? Because they don't understand what people are talking about. Everything stays charming. All they see are cute gingerbread houses and lederhosen and quaint little villiges. All their input from others is in simplified English. What the person actually might think and say in German may be quite another matter.


2. Other expats- Other expats can be a great resource or not. Where I live there are not that many and we all know each other and are forced to socialize a lot. You may not realize that you know someone that they know and then you go to a party and WHAM, there they are again. Trouble is, they may not be "your kind of people"in the first place but you are freuquently thrown together just because you share a language.
When there are expats that have been living there for a long time, any social occasion can become some kind of show of oneupmanship. A sort of "who has the most experience here and is the most intergrated" kind of thing. For example, I went to a thanksgiving dinner last year and the conversation went like this:

American: This is so strange speaking English. It's been eons since I've spoken it. I can only think in German now.
Canadian: I know. It's so hard. We only speak the dialect of our village at home now. That's all the kids can speak. I'm not even speaking English to them.
Brit: What is the English word for Lebensmittelvergiftung? I was talking to my mum and I just couldn't think of it. I've lived here for so long.
New Expat: What's this festival they are having on the mountain next week?
American: What??!! You don't know? Oh my God. Thats the famous festival of Uttenguggenburgerheim where everyone dresses in costume and throws stones at the city wall to celebrate St. Stefan's ride through the town where he performed the miracle of Our Lady of the Hounds. ican't believe you don't know that. (Everyone gives knowing looks)

and on and on and on.

3. So then you try to make friends with the locals. You go out. You join clubs. Austria is a pretty closed society. They may talk to you but it takes a looooong time before they consider you a friend. People have their groups of friends, that they've known since birth and one circle does not interact with another circle. Even at a bar. It is very hard to "get in". Everyone has their label and mine seems to be "the American". Not "schminken, the cool girl with her own thoughts and talents" just "schminken the native speaker, a walking dictionary at your disposal. This can be frustrating because I want people to like me for me not because they spent an exchange year in Manchester and I'm someone to speak English to.


So living abroad can be really lonely sometimes. You have to get a thicker skin and just be able to laugh at all the embarressing things that happen to you- and they will happen.

[grwit]