Job Discussion Forums

[jr1965]

Thanks JZer. You're right; a lot of it is perspective: how we see our own lives as well as others'.

I know that there have been times in my life when I lived outside the U.S. and saw people I knew back home doing The Same Old Thing. I judged them. I thought they were boring. But then I realized that a lot of that "Same Old Thingness" is just what you see on the surface. Those people who are "just having kids" or are "stuck with a house & mortgage" well�what's that person's backstory, ya know? Why did they want to have kids? How's it going? Are they happy? How have things changed? What was it like to carry a baby to term and then give birth? There are so many questions you can ask a person about what appears to be a seemingly mundane situation to you and you'll see that there is potentially a lot to talk about, and that the person's story is in its way as interesting as listening to someone tell you about sailing down the Mekong or living around the corner from a palace.

Just like I think that if my friends really asked me about my experience here in Spain versus making assumptions about my life or seeing surface images only, they'd see that not every day is a fiesta, not every trip I make to a different city is a great adventure, not every man I tell them about is a memorable romance, not every meal I eat stepped off the pages of Bon Appetit. Sometimes they are. But there are deeper and more important things happening to me by living in Spain. Those are the things I want to talk about, but some people don't know how to ask me those questions, and it's not like I can just launch into a monologue about these things. And so that surface image that my some of my friends and family have of me and my life remains a bit. Just like we sometimes look at their lives and think "Same Old Thing." But it's not.

[keepwalking]

My favourite stupid questions (there are two!) both came in response to my decision to come here to Peru. I was asked by a health insurance agent if I thought it was worth the risk because 'these African countries are rife with HIV'. There was just so much wrong with that statement I didn't know where to start.

Less offensive was the question my sister was asked when she told people she was coming to visit me in Peru. A work mate asked her why Peru, she replied 'to visit my sister, she lives there' and was asked 'so people live in Peru?'

[rusmeister]

To jr and jzl, wonderful posts and good points!

But this thread does have a raison d'etre (French for 'a raisin to eat') and that is that most people really aren't interested in our experiences, which, while they may not have more value than those of our friends and family back where we came from (not sure I can say 'home'), they are much more unique relative to others from our own background.

One little caveat Denise - I agree as far as friends go that you drift apart. But you're stuck with family, and if you want to share your experiences with your family and they're not interested in your experience, then you're stuck with that.

I think this is an issue where we find that we want to share something with the people we love, and find that we can't.

I wonder how Sam Gamgee would've related to Rosie Cotton...? (Another 'Lord of the Rings' reference for those of you not in the know).

[Chancellor]

Is it that they're not interested in our experiences or is it really a symptom of Western ethnocentrism wherein Americans in particular really do believe the rest of the world is inferior to them and, so, life in other countries means nothing to them?

I was in Indonesia for a month recently and what I got when I came back was along the lines of "Oh, we were so worried about you because of the tsunami (referring to the one in 2004, even though I was only in Indonesia in May-June 2006), the volcano, the earthquake, and the Muslims." I agree with others here that most folks back home don't give a rat's behind about life in "foreign" countries.

[denise]

[JZer]

[White_Elephant]

[gaijinalways]

I've gotten some odd responses. One was "How is Japan?" when I was living in Hong Kong (from a dentist yet)!

Other people, like my mother's brother, has traveled to Japan on business, so he has a better sense of life there. My family has visited here, so they also know what it is like (except for my brother, who told my younger sister she didn't need a winter coat when she visited Japan (and of course he has never visited there). Luckily my wife had an extra coat she didn't need, as that winter was colder than normal).

My other friends travel a little, but yeah, I can't go on about life there as it's not that different in some sense, ie. working, paying bills, going out to restaurants, traveling etc.

[Perpetual Traveller]

[thrifty]

It is difficult to relate as those back home often have good jobs with futures whereas we have lousy no hope jobs and when we return home have to sponge off relatives for a place to stay.

[Bayden]

[White_Elephant]

[jr1965]

[JZer]

[JZer]