Job Discussion Forums

[sallycat]

woofy -- honestly, i think all you can do is keep doing what you are doing -- making sure the other teachers are aware of the situation . that way, if anything happens (eg, she turns up at your house and won't leave) you are covered. i don't think it's a good idea to get everyone in the class to write letters to you. encouraging obsessive behaviour is not a great idea.

[gaijinalways]

I think the letter writing is okay if it is as described, getting and sharing cultural information.

As to some of the paranoia about students knowing where you live, I wouldn't worry that much about it. Most of them would never think of visitin you, and if they did is that some kind of crime ?

Now as to psycho students knowing where you live, yes, that could be a problem. But at almost 2 meters, strangely enough I don't worry about it too much !

[G Cthulhu]

[osakajojo]

The only love letter I got was from a 20 year old that seemed to have a mind of a 12 year old.
I just said thank you and never spoke of it again.

Honestly, If she hadn't had such really crazy teeth, I don't know what I would have done.

[SeasonedVet]

Neongene wrote:

[SeasonedVet]

I have had students write letters to me At School with permission from The head of the English Department and the Kyoto Sensei. I invited teachers to read the letters at their leisure and kept them in a folder where teachers could read them. I haven't seen any teachers reading any of them as yet.

Students often wrote things like I love you. apparently it is expected that it will happen. I think the students are not serioius anyway. The OP's situation might be a little different. Seems like tyhe student has fallen into puppy love.
A situation like that should be handled maturely. Like some other posters said don't treat her any differently and let the home room teacher handle it.
When I first started teaching at a public shcool in Japan, my Japanese friends asked me if I had received any love letters YET.
So it seems common.

I have received some letters from some students saying "I love you" and one of them occasionally says it in public ( school compound and club etc) but she quickly just moves on to something else and forgets my very existance, not to mention that she has a boyfriend. I think what she actually means is that she is happy to have a foreign teacher at her school that she can talk to sometimes. At least that's how I interpret it.

I have had opther students say the same thing, I love you, and in those cases they seemed to be doing it to show off because as soon as they said it their friends would laugh and clap hands and they would all go away in the next minute or so. Nothing serious. Whenever they did it I woul;d put this look of surprise or astonishment on my face and there would be big laughter and clapping then that's it. The next time I see that student somewhere on campus they would say hello or maybe not say anything at all until the next time to joke around with friends.

But getting back to the OP, as others said, let the JT ? Homeroom teacher deal with it and don't treat the student any differently. part of dealing with situations like these is our maturity to continue without becoming excited about it.

[Woofy I Toby]

Thanks everyone for their replies. Just thought you may like an update on the situation.

Since the original posting, I got another letter, this one placed by hand by the student in my mailbox. It says she will be giving me a Valentine's Day present on Feb 16, when I go to her school.

Once more I took it to the school and finally I feel something has been done. The prinicipal has finally got involved, spoken to the girl's mother about this and so everyone is aware of the situation.

Because the student is having some problems in school, the principal, parents and I have agreed the matter will be handled quite delicately.

I guess the reason I asked for advice in the first place is when I have told friends and family (with both UK and New Zealand perspectives) they have all been alarmed and shocked that there is not a more clear protocol in how to respond to this situation.

I guess there is much less cynicism/abuse of this kind of thing in Japan and the students are more innocent.

But if anyone were to find themselves in a similar position, I would recommend persistence with your teachers until they appreciate that the issue can be quite serious. And at least then you have made them aware of it.

[Gordon]

Thanks for the update. Yes, kids are more innocent here.