Job Discussion Forums

[baksana]

Wow.... I just read your posts and all the wonderful replies from everyone on the forum. I haven't really been in your situation, but I can sympathize and I hope that you make the best choice for yourself. It doesn't sound at all like you've failed in any way, but that the people around you have failed YOU.

You don't deserve to be in this situation and the lack of support is shocking! The fact that they didn't even get you a work permit is just the icing on the cake....

If you end up leaving the job, I hope that you are able to spend a little time enjoying Turkey! Sometimes people end up at these terrible places, but I hope that it doesn't color your entire experience here. Please let us know what you end up doing and remember that you need to do what's best for yourself!!

[pak1789]

Well, it's me, the Original Poster again, and I've made my decision. I'm leaving. I made my decision on Tuesday and spent three days writing a resignation letter to the exchange program. I delivered it to them today. The one woman there, S., is rather upset with me. She just doesn't see it from my point of view. I had been told by a former exchangee that I wouldn't get much support from S. and she was right. The director of the program here was more understanding, as was the guy from the program's headquarters in Washington, DC. He happened to call while I was at the office so I got to talk to him too.

I'm not sure at this point what will happen to my exchange partner who is at my school and in my home in the States. Generally the program tries to let teachers stay if they want to, even if their partner leaves, but since she's in my apartment and I am not agreeable to having a roommate, I'm not sure what will happen. And I don't know how well we would work together either. Besides, the school here may very well insist that she come back, since they will need a teacher now. I selfishly hope that is the case.

Tomorrow will be tough at school, I know, since it's my last day. I was out Tuesday (too upset to come to school again) and thought about blowing off the rest of the week, but decided to be a professional and see things through. Some of the kids suspect something is up - I'm sure they heard about my meltdown in front of that one class last week, and when I didn't show up last Friday or this Tuesday, I'm sure that got them suspicious too. One 9th grade girl, whose English isn't very good, asked me yesterday, "Teacher, go to America?" I didn't answer, but then later she asked again, "Next semester in Turkey?" That time I said, "Bilmiyorum." (That's I don't know)

There are a few kids who really do want to learn, but unfortunately they are the minority and they just aren't enough to keep me here. I will miss those kids and it will be hard tomorrow - I don't know if I should tell them goodbye or if I should pretend I'm coming back.

I already booked a flight back to the States for February 4th. I have to fly to Cleveland, Ohio, first, since that's where my parents live and I had left my car with them. Then after a few days with them, I'll drive to my home in South Carolina. Ideally I would like to resume my job on Monday, February 11th.

I can never thank you all enough for all your kind replies and words of support and encouragement. I will keep you posted about what happens with the exchange partner, if anyone is interested.

Thanks again! Tesekkuler!

pak

[asgerd]

I'm glad you've made your decision - in true libran, judicial style, weighing up both sides... you sound settled with it, and that's great. Hope your return goes well - and I for one would be interested to know what the exchange teacher does! so let us know.

[ghost]

The writing was on the wall in that job, and the conditions would not have changed to your benefit - they almost never do, and once you have 'lost' your ability to control recalcitrant students, it is basically impossible to ever get them back.

If you have teacher credentials you may wish to apply for a job in Korea at the teacher training college in Korea where I work. Low stress, good salary and around 7-8 weeks paid vacation per year. I spent 1 month in Japan, and am now off to Indonesia for my second 3 week vacation. We will need people here soon.

PM me for details, or look at the website (www.gifle.go.kr)

Ghost in Korea

note: I am also an 'escapee' from the hell of Turkish Private schools.

[dagi]

Just read your post and you really have all my sympathies. Last schoolyear I was in the exact same situation.

What I want to say is that you should by no means feel like you failed. You took the chance, went abroad and tried it and it just didn't work out. Many people don't even have the guts to leave their comfort zone.
You've reached your limits and that is also a good personal experience. We all have them and it's good to know how far we can go.

And I wouldn't worry too much about your exchange partner. Isn't it also the exchange's partner's responsibility to make sure there is decent support?! Sorry, but you come first now. Anything else is your exchange's partners problem, not yours. You just take care of yourself now first.

Wish you all the best and a safe trip home!

[pak1789]

Hello, it's the OP again. Here's an update on my situation for anyone who is interested:

I left Turkey on February 5th (a day late due to foggy conditions) and have been back in the USA for about two and a half weeks. It is so good to be back! I feel better already but have decided that it would be a good idea to seek therapy anyway. The experience in Turkey really did a number on me and I was seriously depressed. My self-esteem as a teacher has been affected. I already saw my regular doctor and I have an appointment to see a therapist next week.

Therapy should also help with the resentment toward my exchange partner. Believe it or not, she got to stay here. I found it hard to believe that the Turkish kolej gave her permission to finish out the year here, but they did. I was really selfishly hoping she would have to go back to Turkey. She had to move out of my apartment and find another one, which she wasn't too happy about because now she has to pay rent herself, but she moved out just before I came back. The first night home in my own bed was heaven! And she left the apartment in good clean condition.

In an email the exchange partner had said she hopes I realize what a difficult financial position I have put her in by deciding to come home. I responded that I hope she realizes what a difficult position I was in at her kolej in Turkey. I said that had she set up a better support network for me in Turkey, as I had done for her here, it may not have come to this. She countered that what happened there was not her responsibility and that I just couldn't get used to the differences there. Whatever. She seems to have forgotten that I have had much more international experience than she has ever had (including two years in sub-Saharan Africa.)

As for the job here, that is complicated. My school principal here at first thought he would be getting two teachers for the price of one, and was thrilled. However, I knew it would not be a good idea for the exchange partner and I to work together. I talked to the coordinator of ESOL for our school district and she said my high school doesn't have enough ESOL students for two teachers anyway, so she created another position for me in the school district. The exchange partner is staying at my high school and I'm going around to different schools in the district and helping with various things. It's our ESOL testing season now so I am assisting with that, among other things. We are the largest school district in the state so there are plenty of schools and ESOL students. It's a pretty cool job, actually - no lesson plans, no giving grades, no calling parents, etc. Relatively stress-free, which is a nice change after the hell I went through in Turkey. I will return to my high school in August. The principal assured me that he wants me back. But after this cushy job, I may not want to go back to my high school next year!

I'm lucky to have the full support of the district coordinator. She told me that her loyalty is to me, not to the exchange partner. However, she also told me that some other ESOL teachers think that I am not being fair to the exchange partner and that I broke a commitment. Of course they haven't heard my side of the story. I'm not sure what people at my high school think.

I visited my high school but stayed in the office area. Much as I wanted to go up to my classroom and see my students, I decided it was better not to. My students love me and hate the Turkish teacher and it would make things uncomfortable for her, I'm sure. So I'm trying to be nice by giving her the turf for the rest of the year. Even though she doesn't deserve it.

The students do know I'm back, though. I've seen some of them outside of school and word gets around fast. They're making it difficult for her by saying they want me back.

As for the school in Turkey, I found out that they still haven't found a replacement for me, which makes it so surprising that they haven't insisted that my exchange partner return. It turns out that the department chair and the principal are now teaching my classes. I'm glad they are the ones that got dumped upon, since those two did absolutely nothing to help me when I asked them.

My only regret is not having enjoyed Turkey more. It really is a beautiful country. I keep telling people Turkey wasn't the problem, it was the school that was the problem. I didn't travel very much because my schedule kept me so busy and on the weekends I was usually too worn out to do anything. Can you believe I never even went to Istanbul? I had thought of going there after the semester ended and before I left for the USA, but I was too depressed and besides I didn't want to spend the money. I did go on a trip to Efes over the Kurban Bayram and to Kapadokya for New Year's. Someday I will have to go back and see more of the country.

Again, I thank all of you who responded to my post. Your advice was invaluable.

pak

[dagi]

"In an email the exchange partner had said she hopes I realize what a difficult financial position I have put her in by deciding to come home. "

What a stupid cow! And if people really think you broke a commitment etc. tell them to go over there themselves and see if they can manage.

"It turns out that the department chair and the principal are now teaching my classes. "
Indeed, serves them right.

The job you are doing right now sounds like it's the kind of thing you need now to relax and get back to normal. Take good care of yourself now and don't think too much about others.

[Mikana]

Quite frankly I'd go. Unless you're a man or a woman fond of wham bam thank you ma'am and smelly armpits, there's not much here here, to paraphrase Gertrude Stein. I'm in my second year in Istanbul, am well-paid, reasonably well-treated by my employer, live in a villa by the sea, and have university hours, but the whole country is not much more than a pile of rubble posing as a republic, its many historical charms are best encompassed while staying at a decent hotel (hard to find), and the backstabbing, mendacity, and total inability to develop policy and administer it is often soul-destroying. If I had work conditions remotely similar to those you describe, I'd be gone, gone, gone.

[Sheikh Inal Ovar]

[tararu]

I am sorry, but l find it strange that you find such glee in making the Turkish exchange teacher's life hard in your country. You have been ranting about how awfully you have been treated, yet you feel it is justified to treat this foreign exchange teacher the same way. I can't see how you can blame your experience on the poor girl. It wouldn't matter how much she had done to cushion your experience, as it would have had the same result, and l find it odd that others on this forum have decided that this Turkish girl who can't defend herself is a "bitch". You also mention a couple of times that you are so much more worldly than this girl because you have visited Africa. I am sorry, but I am not really sure why that is so important.

[mongrelcat]

[tararu]

As you will probably see, l didn't say the OP said she was a "bitch". Everyone has had bad experiences which can be blamed on cultural differences, undisciplined students and or uncaring admin staff. To lay the blame with this Turkish exchange teacher is rather uncalled for and mean. I was physically attacked here by the kids l looked after years ago here, so l found a new job..end of story...a lot of super rich kids are allowed to get away with blue murder here...that's the way it is...no support system is ever going to change that fact. However, l do think that any association that organises such exchanges should give cultural awareness classes to potential teachers and fully investigate any school they wish to be in their program.

[Ebenezer]

yeah... there's just one thing I don't get... what does the Turkish exchange partner has to do with it all??? I can relate to everything you've said, yes, some, or most or all of the schools in Turkey are hell, the students are spoiled brats that make you go home and cry, cry, cry, think of suicide and depending on your reasons to stay here (I have my own) you just go to bed early, take a deep breath and hope for a better day or bolt... there's absoltuley nothing the poor girl (it's a girl, right? Or guy... it doesn't matter) could do!! Do you know how important it is for a non-native speaker to have a chance like this in the US?? Do you?? Can you imagine how much this poor thing must have struggled to get into a program like this???? Maybe that's why the school was understanding enough not to make her go home!! I don't have anything against anyone or any nationality, but no wonder Americans are not the most loved people in the World... I'm sorry to say that... ok, it's not your fault you wanted to go back home and yes, she had to leave YOUR apartment, but it's over with now, leave her alone, let her have her spot under the sun, too...and once again sorry for your bad experience here, yes, guys, schools in Turkey are hell!!!

[windstar]

[Ebenezer]

Ok... I accept it, the one I work for is hell and for a long time I thought I was the problem until I started talking to other people and reading this forum... many are hell and I'm glad and surprised to hear yours is not... mama, I want to go there