Job Discussion Forums

[desertrat]

Though "living together" is illegal, in the 12 years Ive been in Oman and the 5 years I spent in UAE I have never seen or even heard of a Westerner being arrested for it. And by the way the lashes are only given to Muslims who commit a crime not Christians/ Hindu or anyone else for that matter. And as I said before - stay out of the lil towns. It would appear that youve all had some pretty awful, gossipy coworkers - how sad for you!! Tip: Keep your personal life private and try not to socialise with the ppl you work with. Unless you make a big deal out of it or are living in staff accomodation you'll be ok.

Teaching KG may be a problem though as the Ministry of Education is in the process of Omanitizing this sector but perhaps the pvt schools are still employing foreigners at this level. KG teachers also dont get paid a lot

If youre really concerned about this - then just get married!

[helenl]

The first year I was in the gulf, a colleague was accused of adultery. Both he and she were arrested, "tested" for sexual contact (I'm not sure what was involved but male friends were disgusted when told what was done), brought to court, sentenced - he to immediate deportation (and lifetime ban from re-entering the country) and she to 3 months in jail, 30 lashes and then deportation (if she could afford the ticket home). After some dialogue with our employer's counsel, the lashes were deferred and we took up a collection to pay for her ticket home when her jail term was over (he was white/Western, she was not).

The colleague maintained nothing had occurred, but her employer accused them and the police acted according to local laws. There have been other instances, none that I know of other than through newspaper reports, and they've been all people of "colour".

As VS says, you might be able to keep below the radar if you are both white/Western and come in on separate work contracts and then are discrete. Would I be willing to risk it - probably not. You've got to decide if even the smallest possibility of landing in an Omani jail is worth the risk.

[desertrat]

Lets be honest here - the law here is applied a little differently depending on your nationality. If you are Indian, Pakistani, Phillipino, Indonesian etc you cant afford to take any chances. These nationalities are more prone to being watched and questioned by police bcos they are considered "more likely to commit a crime" ( dont shoot the messenger Im just giving the facts here ) They are also more likely to gossip about your pvt life. (personal experience) However most Westerners are not prone to the same level of scrutiny nor are the police in Oman actively watching them to check who's sleeping where and with who. And I re iterate - lashes can only be given to a Muslim as it is part of the Sharia law system, Non muslims may be deported or imprisoned(rarely) most often deported.
Hey ppl homosexuality is also illegal here so is 'relations" out of marriage, prostitution ..... So many celibate ppl Wow!

[lall]

There's an ethical aspect to the issue, too.

Though wholly acceptable in the Western world, Omanis consider it morally wrong apart from it being illegal.

It would be, imho, not so nice to do it, from the ethical point of view (I'm not speaking of the ethics of co-habiting).

Offending the sensibilities of the vast majority of the citizens of your host country is, imho, not okay, even if one is able to safely fly under the radar.


Dear MG,

This would be a wonderful opportunity for you or your significant other to pop the question, whether or not you decide to work in the Gulf.

All the best,

Lall.

[helenl]

My last post outlines a case where the couple did not live together although they were both residing in the same building. I can only tell you what information we were given at the time (by someone who attended the court hearing).

I don't disagree with you that 2 white/Western people could probably get along fine, just that they have to be aware of possible consequences. OP hasn't indicated if her SO will also be working and entering the country under his own contract. I know my current employer is very specific and will approach those cohabiting who come to his attention (and we live on compounds and apartment blocks to gether - so keeping your business/life can be difficult at best) to cease and desist or risk losing your job.

More pertinent to the discussion is if the SO is coming in without work/without work visa - that could be more problematic for OP (and expensive if visa runs will have to be made) - also, makes it more difficult to keep the relationship on the QT

[veiledsentiments]

There was quite a well publicized case in Dubai - but involved Oman indirectly too - where two Westerners who were living together were thrown in jail and sentenced to lashes and deportation, and neither of them was Muslim. It was a situation where a couple had either separated or divorced in the UAE (details are a bit fuzzy as it was 10+ years ago.) She immediately moved in with her boyfriend and was quickly pregnant.

Her husband had moved to Oman. He decided to make waves and turned them in. Her baby was born in jail... and its imminent birth kept her from the lashes temporarily. The British government eventually negotiated their release without the lashes, but with immediate deportation back home.

They were in jail for months while this was all being fought out between the governments. This cautionary tale is just to point out that you are not immune from the traditional punishments even if you are white and non-Muslim. All you need is someone who wants to hurt you. Would it happen now? Probably not, but who knows.

BTW... the jails are not air conditioned...

VS

[007]

[desertrat]

Shari'a (Islamic law) courts frequently impose flogging (except in Dubai) on Muslims found guilty of adultery, prostitution, and drug or alcohol abuse. In practice flogging is administered in accordance with Shari'a so as to prevent major or permanent injuries. The individual administering the lashing traditionally holds a Koran under the arm and swings the whip using the forearm only. According to press accounts, punishments for adultery and prostitution have ranged from 39 to 200 lashes. Individuals convicted of drunkenness have been sentenced to 80 lashes.

The Federal Supreme Court ruled in 1993 that convictions in the Shari'a courts do not necessarily require the imposition of Shari'a penalties on non-Muslims, but such sentences have been carried out in a few cases.

http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/hrrpt/1999/429.htm

BTW the woman you are referring to was still married, they had not divorced and her big mistake was to get pregnant. Anyway this is a moot point.

My lil German friend - to avoid any hassles - get married ( you can always get divorced later ) or judt dont come out here

[Milena Global]

Greetings from Hanoi !

At first the bad news...no proposal yet
You couldn t scare me more with these very vivid descriptions of punishments. I guess I got the message now !

However, you all taught me a big lesson and it made me think a lot about what is ethical and most respectful towards the people there. In fact we both ended up in a big debate, comparing your comments with those from our Omani friends, who see the whole issue surprisingly relaxed.

As for the salary, maybe I get rich in my next life. I d be happy to make my living and pay the flight ticket back to Europe.

My last question, is there a good Omani website where you can post teaching offers and /or CV ?

MG

[veiledsentiments]

[windstar]

there is "theweek" weekly but i dont know their website. They have a few posts once in a while about teaching positions and expat community reads it mostly.

[stabnkill]

In Muscat, it is no problem whatsoever for you to live with your boyfriend. Everyone will assume that you are married anyway and you don't need to contradict them. Listen to your Omani friends. Don't go around making a big deal about your situation. Relax. If for some reason you are questioned by your employer, which would be rather unheard of if you are a Westerner, you could always point out that you are married under "common law" or "religious law" if one of those happens to apply to you. You will not be lashed. The worst that will happen is that you will be deported and that is very unlikely. It is doubtful that you will offend anybody, especially because there is no reason for anyone to know the specific details of your situation. It would be offensive for you to flaunt your details in the faces of people who may have contrary values. If you are not provided housing--if your rent on your own--the cohabitation will not even be an issue as far as your employer goes. Omanis are nosey in their own way, but they are also very into not asking about what goes on behind closed doors and it is not uncommon for Omanis themselves to have their secrets--just like everyone else in the world. Of course, as far as your students are concerned, either you are married, or you live alone. They will ask and they will expect the appropriate answer. They will not expect you to necessarily tell them the truth.

Non-Muslims drink alcohol here. Some Omanis drink in bars. These things are known to everyone, but they are simply not talked about. It is not seen as polite to discuss the bad habits of others.

There are lots of tourists in Oman and they include among their number unmarried mixed gender couples who share a room. Nobody cares and as far as anybody is concerned they are married, which they very might well be. Also, it is not uncommon for expats working here to have the occasional visitor from back home and it is really nobody's business if that visitor is a differing gender from you, if you are pressed you will be obliged to give a polite and acceptable answer.

I think that there are some people who have not lived in Oman for a long time or other people who have never lived in Oman that may be a bit out of touch with the things. Take everything with a grain of salt, including my posting. Come here yourself and check it out.

By the way, I am assuming here that both of you are European. There is quite a double standard. In any case, you should both have jobs, or one of you should be here on a tourist visa --go to Dubai every three months to renew it. It is possible to find part time work or a job once you get here, but one of you should secure a job before you come. It would be foolhearty not to secure a job before you come unless you have wads of cash to sit around on. If for some reason you decide to be foolhearty, September is the best time to come because that's when everyone realizes they don't have enough teachers are are desperate to hire anyone they can find. If you have the proper qualifications to teach children, check out ABA, Tasim, and PDO's school (don't know the name of that). I also heard that there are a lot of Europeans teaching at Sultan School.

[veiledsentiments]

[desertrat]

Stab, youre the man! Finally another voice of reason! Thats pretty much what Ive been trying to say. No one cares and if you keep your personal life well, personal then you wont have any problems.

[Milena Global]

Desertrat, you brought it to the point; Stab you are our man ! Thanks so much for your comments, balancing both the advice from our Omani friends and all the postings here.

Foolhearty mature, this is how I would describe our present state of mind.

I guess that I owe you all more than just one drink, rather a whole German-French dinner,wherever in the world.
MG

VS: I ll keep your warnings in mind.