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[cafebleu]

I think getting stuck into nawlinsgirl by pointing out how lucky she is in other ways misses the point. Working with nasty/bitchy/troublemaking co-workers is a real downer and for those of us with more sensitivity than not, it can spoil an otherwise good job.

My advice nawlinsgirl is - quit pandering to the bitchy co-workers. Stop serving the tea to the teachers who are bitches, don't bring back presents for them. Be polite but do the minimum for them. In Japan if the Japanese do these things despite our bending over backwards, then let them know subtlety they had their chance with you and they blew it.

Be polite at all times, don't show they've upset you. But DON'T keep showing kindness and doing nice things - the Japanese who put you down will never respect you for it.

It just encourages them to disrespect you. Those acts of kindess and presents etc are for co-workers who allow you to build a real relationship with them. Do it to bitches, female or male in Japan, and they just disrespect you more.

So what if you earn more than them? The bonuses your co-workers get are probably surprisingly large as I learnt a no. of times in Japan. When I worked in Korea somebody tried to put the same guilt trip on me but their bonuses more than compensated for my freer time etc.

And never put in for weddings you are not invited to. That's a sucker's role. It's not like you are paying condolence money for a funeral for somebody's relative - I did willingly in Japan and I never wanted to go to the funeral anyway. That's different. The people who go to the wedding will get a present - and you won't. Let them pay.

Stop being used up. Stop being so nice. Start being really polite and distant to the bitches. And yes, I'd go for the base job. If it gives you more say in the curriculum it will probably suit you. I had my share of teaching rubbish curriculae in Japan until I found jobs where they paid me to teach my way.

But please - don't let the bitches walk over you. Passive resistance with liberal doses of politeness and no more favours is the way to go.