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fluffyhamster
Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again
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 Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Anda wrote: |
The Job Photos. Story By Anda
Jill Hi Sue, would you like to join me for a light lunch?
Sue Sure Jill, have you planed to go somewhere special?
Jill I was thinking of having lunch at Tony�s.
Sue That sounds good! Tony has super food and great coffee!
At Tony�s.
Jill This Italian salad is really tasty Sue!
Sue Um, you�re right!
Jill Tell me Sue! How did you get a job with the company we work for?
Sue Oh, you�re inferring (saying) that I tricked them somehow!
Jill Yes, well kind of! You�re very smart as well as being highly qualified but you�re not exactly beautiful in appearance Sue!
Sue Yes I know! You needn�t remind me!
Jill Sorry Sue, but you know that I�m not trying to be offensive! (rude) I�m just curious.
Sue Oh it�s okay Jill, we�re close friends. I�ll tell you, if you promise not to tell anyone else about what I did!
Jill You needn�t worry Sue. Your secret will be safe with me!
Sue Well I always wanted to work in this state (province) plus our company is a leader in biotechnology that I majored in at university!
Jill That�s right, you were contracted from interstate, weren�t you?
Sue Yes! You see I knew that I wouldn�t have had much of a chance of landing a job at where we work, if I had have let them know how fat I was.
Jill Yes I can remember the first day that you started with the company. When you walked through the front door, everyone went into shock! (was very surprised)
Sue Come on Jill! Don�t keep on reminding me that I�ve got a weight problem!
Jill Sorry, sorry!
Sue Okay, anyway my brother back home is a raging (out of control) homosexual (man that likes other men not women for company) plus he�s a fashion designer.
Jill He�s not one of them, is he?
Sue I�m afraid so but he�s just a little queen, (a man who takes the place of a woman in a homosexual relationship) not some macho (act tough) puff! (a homosexual who takes the male role) He�s quite funny when you get to know him!
Jill I don�t think I�d want a brother trying to out compete me if I bought a boyfriend home!
Sue No problem! He sticks to his own kind, except for once when I unknowingly bought a bisexual (a person who goes with either a man or a woman) home for coffee.
Jill Ops, that was a mistake!
Sue Yes, but my brother didn�t think so! Candy my brother asked if I wanted to share him!
Jill Sue this conversation is getting a little out of hand!
Sue Um I suppose so, anyway getting back: I saw the ad on the internet from our company one day at home and remarked to my brother that I�d love to get the position but had no chance considering that the management at our company had requested (asked for) full head and body photos.
Jill What did your brother say to you?
Sue Candy said to me; �No worries Sis� The next moment he had me in his bedroom showing me on his computer how I could look with a few alterations.
Jill A few alterations! What alterations?
Sue Candy had done a facial make up on me once and afterwards had photographed me with his digital camera and then downloaded the photos onto his computer. My face looked radiant. My brother is supper with make up.
Jill Come on, keep talking! You still haven�t told me about the alterations?
Sue Anyway the next thing I know my brother just whips my head off!
Jill Whips your head off!
Sue Yes it�s easy to delete or add anything on a digital photo on a computer if you have the right program.
Jill What did he do with your head Sue?
Sue He stuck it (my head) on a top fashion model�s shoulders after he had beheaded the poor girl!
Jill Oh Sue! You didn�t send photos of yourself or at least your head to our company using that poor girl�s (fashion model�s) body did you?
Sue Yeah I did and it worked! It was a great body that my brother got me. Also Candy found the name for a medical condition to account (give reason) for a sudden large increase in body weight!
Jill It�s getting worse! You lied and deceived (tricked) your way into the job with the company!
Sue Well yes but everything is fair these days in corporate business. For instance (example) our company makes out that they don�t discriminate (unfairly treat) job applicants on appearance, age or sex when they hire staff.
Jill What did they say when you arrived to commence (start) work?
Sue They coughed and sputtered! They naturally asked what had happened to my body. I explained to them about the rare (uncommon) condition that I had acquired (got) but how it didn�t interfere (alter) with my work performance.
Jill Then what did they say?
Sue Well they couldn�t say much as I�d got them to send signed originals of the four year contract to me which I countersigned at my solicitors office. Of course they told me how sorry they felt for me!
Jill Wow Sue you certainly tied (bound) them up. I can see your point but. They do make out that they don�t discriminate on appearance, sex or age. You�ve just beaten them at their own game.
Sue It�s a shame that dishonest people like those in our management, force people like myself to become dishonest like them also. |
Now that's what I call "business" English! 
I'm imagining that I'm in an ELT publishers' meeting and making the script ever higher-concept (like movie producers apparently do), in order to get it green-lighted. So I'd have Sue fall silent then lauch herself at Jill nails-first Raimi-style once Jill had uttered the irrepairably-damaging 'You�re very smart as well as being highly qualified but you�re not exactly beautiful in appearance Sue!'. (Do women friends really dare talk as frankly as that?) Then one or both of them could literally get beheaded by flying handbags*, leaving a real mess for some gayish Chinese cops to survey and make a telling quip or two about.
But I'm sure the thinner and/or straight people in your class really enjoyed your dialogue as it stands! (It does after all have its own bit of twisty clever sermonizing at the end. God forbid that "fat"people i.e. formerly slimmer and healthier people, with no serious genetic predisposition or medical condition to obesity, who could exercise and diet to lose the weight they've allowed to pile on, should actually do so! Dr Sears' The Zone, anyone?).
All that being said, I myself did kind of "enjoy" reading it, even if I'd be wary of using such material in my own classes.
I'll post a few of the activities that I used to do (when I was teaching in China years ago, mainly adult classes but also a few schoolkid-level ones too), so people can have a laugh at me/my stuff if they like. It's the sort of stuff that could be used for Halloween (which is coming soon)...
*Think slow-mo John Woo, or should that be Peckinpah? Can't remember who used handbags...ah, no, it was Woo & Co., in the end fight in M:i-2! |
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Anda
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 2199
Location: Jiangsu Province
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:31 pm Post subject: Um |
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Well Miss Katy it's good to hear you got the job. You can make English teaching fun if you try. However you will find it's a lot of hard work if you want to get teaching results.
This is the work of one of my elementary students that I teach in my spare time. Yep. I edit and add a bit of color but it gives the kids encouragement to see their own work used in class.
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Two Naughty Girls. By Ann (English Name)
Ann and Nancy are very good friends. They are very clever but terribly naughty.
( 但很顽皮 )
One Day they wanted to play a trick (恶作剧 ) on Susan their English teacher. Susan is not however very brave ( 勇敢) and is very scared ( 害怕) of some kinds of animals.
So the two naughty girls are country girls and are not scared of any animals so they caught a big hairy rat ( 大的令人害怕的老鼠 ) and put it into the drawer (抽屉) of Susan�s desk at school. The naughty girls also left a little squeeze tube ( 挤压管 ) of instant glue (瞬干胶) with the lid (盖子) off on Susan�s desk chair.
When Miss Susan sat down and opened her desk drawer the rat jumped out onto her lap. Miss Susan screamed ( 尖叫 ) and yelled �Oh my God!� Eeeeeeeeeee! The big black rat then jumped onto the floor. Miss Susan tried to run out of the class but the chair was stuck to her trousers so she got stuck ( 她被粘住 ) in the doorway. ( 门道 )
All the students looked at her and started to laugh ( 开始笑 ) he, he, he. Then the big dirty hairy rat raced amongst the students ( 在学生中跑) and many of the girls and even some of the boys stated to yell ( 叫 ) Arrrrrrrrrr like Miss Susan had. Ann and Nancy laughed more and more at the results ( 结果) of the trick that they had played on their teacher. (他们施在老师身上的恶作剧)
Afterwards Ann and Nancy decided to tell no one (决定不告诉任何人) that they were the ones ( 他们就是 ) that had played the trick on their English teacher. They didn�t want to get into trouble ( 惹麻烦 ) and have their parents called up.
( 被告知父母 ) |
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fluffyhamster
Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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| I wrote: |
| I'll post a few of the activities that I used to do (when I was teaching in China years ago, mainly adult classes but also a few schoolkid-level ones too), so people can have a laugh at me/my stuff if they like. It's the sort of stuff that could be used for Halloween (which is coming soon)... |
Le voila!
http://forums.eslcafe.com/teacher/viewtopic.php?t=9143 |
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