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cj750nomad
Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 252
Location: Beijing and
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 Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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I'm just saying that in China we need to be extra careful, more so than in our home countries. Here we represent not only our countries but "the West" in general. For many Chinese we are the only, or one of the few, foreigners they'll ever meet. So whatever we do will reflect in some way on all foreigners. It may not be fair, but that's how it is |
who cares.. but the truth is ... tickling a child is a good way to end up without a job....unless they are engaged in behavior that will result in a injury ... best not to touch a child tha is not urs. |
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joey2001
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 697
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| cormac wrote: |
And I haven't received any complaints about the manner that i play with children.
It was just this one cultural difference. Standing over a child. Don't take this out of context. Nothing in their objection to me, had any physical abuse or sexual context. It comes down a cultural taboo. |
OK, if you say so. As long as the kids and parents are happy there's nothing to worry about. So what happened with that kid and her grandmother? Did they give you any more trouble?
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| And frankly I cant blame most chinese for having a skewed perception of foreigners. Some of the behaviour I've seen by foreigners has appalled me.... |
I'd have to agree with that. Some foreigners here behave like complete a**holes, it's disgusting  |
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Hansen
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 737
Location: central China
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:05 am Post subject: |
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As the legal profession gets on a firmer footing and people consider ways to supplement their meager incomes to gratify increasing covetousness, shaking down FTs with abuse allegations may become more common.
Children of 4 and 5 years old are too young to be in structured learning environments; consequently, "making them love you" through physical contact is questionable at best.
A mature woman won't love you after physical contact, although she may want you to buy her a house. You are inviting trouble. Some of these people still hate foreigners. They definitely don't want you touching their child. |
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joey2001
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 697
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| Hansen wrote: |
A mature woman won't love you after physical contact, although she may want you to buy her a house. You are inviting trouble. Some of these people still hate foreigners. They definitely don't want you touching their child. |
But he was talking about teaching children by playing games, not attracting "mature women". I don't see any connection here. But you're right about inviting trouble. I wouldn't do that either, as I've pointed out above. Even though the majority of the kids' parents might accept it, there are always those who could get the wrong idea |
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cormac
Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 768
Location: Xi'an (XTU)
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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| joey2001 wrote: |
OK, if you say so. As long as the kids and parents are happy there's nothing to worry about. So what happened with that kid and her grandmother? Did they give you any more trouble?
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Not really. They had made their point, and received a response that satisfied them. I did send them a letter (in english and chinese) apologising for the misunderstanding, which seems also to have helped.
I still have a few classes while my contract winds down and the remainder of my classes can be moved over to the other teachers. So I've met the grandmother, the parents and the child since in the corridors. Its all smiles. They got what they wanted. Everyone's happy. Well, not quite. Haha... My boss received a complaint from the other parents in the class, since they were happy with my teaching and they were wondering why they weren't consulted. As I said, the parents are very vocal about the education of their children.. 
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| I'd have to agree with that. Some foreigners here behave like complete a**holes, it's disgusting |
I've got to ask, is this sarcasm? Sometimes its hard to tell on a forum.
| Hansen wrote: |
Children of 4 and 5 years old are too young to be in structured learning environments; consequently, "making them love you" through physical contact is questionable at best. |
Have you taught kids from the age of 3 yrs to 6 yrs in a private school?
Before i became a teacher, i was a debt collector. I hated children. Horrible little things. So when i started teaching, i kept them at arms length. I had fun with them, but kept my distance. Do you know who breached that gap? The kids. And with the kids came the parents... After a while I changed how I taught due to the influence of the children themselves.
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A mature woman won't love you after physical contact, although she may want you to buy her a house. You are inviting trouble. Some of these people still hate foreigners. They definitely don't want you touching their child. |
Its funny really. I've got none of this hate you describe. I've been courteous & friendly, and all I've received are great responses. This is the only incident that has soured. I'm sure there are plenty of chinese people who hate foreigners being in their country... But I dont think you're going to find many of them bringing their children to a school that specifically hires foreigners to teach english.... Now... in clubs or late at night I have received some hostility but some manners and common sense has cleared up those dodgy encounters.
As for the mature women, thats just weird. |
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Hansen
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 737
Location: central China
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| Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:33 am Post subject: |
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Cormac, By your own admission, you lost your job because of the way you related to the children through physical contact. You can laugh about the absurdity of my view as you pack your things. All it takes is one person, obviously. Because parents may like you, it doesn't mean grandparents, auntie, uncle, and so forth, will. It's naive of you to think that because parents bring their children to a school with a foreign teacher, they love foreigners. They love their children and want them to succeed. You and the rest of us are simply a means to an end.
The Crazy English guy, while extreme, is not enthralled by Westerners nor the culture which brought forth the English language. He believes that English is an international language. He has no problem stripping it of its Western heritage. If you look at some of the material used in his summer schools, it demonstrates an extreme insensitivity to Western culture.
I have, in all likelihood, chanced upon some of his former students when I hear someone shout "Go F*** yourself" or F*** you." But we all have to take up the slack; consequently, if the shouter finds that he has just been run into by a guy on a bicycle, inquiring as to the nature of his remark, he gets some insight into Western culture.
Last edited by Hansen on Sat Nov 15, 2008 2:41 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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joey2001
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 697
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| Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 6:42 am Post subject: |
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| cormac wrote: |
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| I'd have to agree with that. Some foreigners here behave like complete a**holes, it's disgusting |
I've got to ask, is this sarcasm? Sometimes its hard to tell on a forum. |
No sarcasm. What gave you that idea? I just pointed out that I've made some very negative observations regarding foreigners here as well  |
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cormac
Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 768
Location: Xi'an (XTU)
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| Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Hansen wrote: |
| Cormac, By your own admission, you lost your job because of the way you related to the children through physical contact. |
Actually, I said that i lost my job by standing over the child. Not because I touched the child physically. You introduced the physical contact issue. And to make it plain, I could still be working in the school if I had wanted to. I wanted an easy way out of my contract, and this popped up nicely. I may have lost that child in my class, but my employers have already said that the other parents were more than happy to have me continue teaching their children.
And i understand and sympathise with what you're saying. I'm not particularly naive about people. Both my previous employment and my travels over the last decade have shown me plenty about people. But you will never be prepared for all eventualities. There will always be something that throws a wabbler into your well prepared plans. |
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Hansen
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 737
Location: central China
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| Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Cormac,
You seem like a decent fellow. I don't take any pleasure in the unpleasantries or misunderstandings that befall others here, at least not usually. Things here are often not what they appear and the real reasons things happen are often concealed.
Best wishes in your new position. |
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cormac
Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 768
Location: Xi'an (XTU)
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| Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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No worries, I know where you were coming from.. My parents are teachers in Ireland, and I've heard enough conversations about these things to know to be wary.
After considering things both here and at home, I've decided to go home to Ireland. Haven't been home in close to three years, so I should take this as a sign to get back.
I'll come back to China though. This country blows just about every country I've ever lived in out of the water. Loved it here, and will definitely return... now, if i could only find a girl that didn't say she loved me 5 seconds after our first date, china would be perfect. haha.  |
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