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lozwich
Joined: 25 May 2003 Posts: 1536
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:34 am Post subject: Re: Why do the people of Torreon love it so much here? |
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dixie wrote: |
The thing is that people don't just embrace their hometown, they put it up on a pedestal and believe it is the top city in Mexico, if not N.A., if not the world. And it is far from that. It's interesting to note how ingrained that seems to be in some residents. |
I used to find that when I lived in a small town in Oaxaca state. Some of my students lived in tiny tiny tiny towns and when I asked them what they wanted to do after they finished their university, many would answer that they would go back to their town, live (and sometimes work) with the family and never leave. When I presented them the idea of studying abroad etc. I was met with faces like this .
The same people also had trouble understanding why I would ever have left where I come from. I think that's more what it is, rather than thinking a place is particularly great. |
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MELEE

Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 2583 Location: The Mexican Hinterland
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:11 pm Post subject: |
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In that same small town Loz mentions, the Mexican faculty from other reasons often refuse to admit that the local might have any good qualities and tend to spend most of the time pining for their hometowns. Some manage to pine for years and seem to enjoy living there for the most part but won't admit it. Others truely are "miserable" and ride the bus for hours every weekend to return to their families. Young women especially seem to suffer when separated from their families. I've seen several give up their careers after earning graduate degrees just so they can move back in with mom and dad.
I think it's hard for Mexicans to separte family from hometown. Because family is extensive and includes all the padrino relationships as well, in a small city the two could literally be the same.
They are also "team" players at least here in southern Mexico. Most of our students want to do something professionally that would benefit the people of their town.
Primary schools do to their share of indoctrination and here in this town by the time you finish 6 grade you know 500 years of local history and can recite speaches generals made here 300 years ago by heart. BUT you don't know anything about world history. |
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MO39

Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 1970 Location: El ombligo de la Rep�blica Mexicana
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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Both lozwich and MELEE have touched on the essence of the answer to the OP's question, I think. It's much more family ties than the place where the family resides that explains most Mexicans' strong attachment to their place of birth. This also explains why I have heard from Mexicans that Americans (and others) don't love their families like Mexicans do, partly because we have no qualms about picking up and moving hundreds of miles away from loved ones to study or work. |
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Mrs L
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 72 Location: Rainy England
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Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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That's interesting. I often feel it's harder for my husband to be living 6000 miles from his Mexican family than it ever was for me to be that far away when we lived over there. We love our parents equally but because all his family are in the same small city where they grew up it seems worse somehow. We miss out on big family gatherings and they always tell us how much they miss us and ask when we're coming back to live there (which we never plan to do because of a lack of career opportunities but they just don't believe us).
It's a lot of pressure to be under. |
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MikeySaid

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 509 Location: Torreon, Mexico
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Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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but do we really love our families just as much? |
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MO39

Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 1970 Location: El ombligo de la Rep�blica Mexicana
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:24 am Post subject: |
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MikeySaid wrote: |
but do we really love our families just as much? |
I think we probably love our families just as much but don�t depend on them as much for emotional and other kinds of support. I realize that this is a sweeping generalization and am prepared to be refuted! |
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leslie
Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Posts: 235
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:36 am Post subject: |
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Bye
Last edited by leslie on Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:42 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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lozwich
Joined: 25 May 2003 Posts: 1536
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:35 am Post subject: |
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MikeySaid wrote: |
but do we really love our families just as much? |
I don't.  |
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Mrs L
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 72 Location: Rainy England
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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I do love them just as much but my husband has taught me how to appreciate them more and not take them for granted. My relationship with my parents has changed a lot since I got married and I think that's because his opinion of what family means has influenced how I act.
I think MO's right that we don't rely on our families as much but it works both ways- they don't rely on us either. My parents are fine with having both their children living in different cities and only visiting them once a month whereas my in-laws like to see their kids most days. It all comes down to expectations and what's seen as normal in the culture. |
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girlcabbie
Joined: 26 Nov 2008 Posts: 25
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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Or maybe we Americans have more dysfunctional families who we're much healthier _not_ spending time with?
Christmas has actually become an enjoyable holiday now that I don't talk to my extended family anymore. |
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TheLongWayHome

Joined: 07 Jun 2006 Posts: 1016 Location: San Luis Piojosi
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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MO39 wrote: |
MikeySaid wrote: |
but do we really love our families just as much? |
I think we probably love our families just as much but don�t depend on them as much for emotional and other kinds of support. I realize that this is a sweeping generalization and am prepared to be refuted! |
I think that's spot on. Independence is not exactly encouraged here at an early age. Moving out of your bedroom in your parents' house to go and live with your wife (probably in a house that was bought for you) seems bizarrre to me.
I appreciate my parents more now that I'm married and have a kid. I don't think it had anything to do with families here. I think it was more to do with getting married and having a kid, it just happened to be here. That said, I have horrid in-laws, straight out of a novela. Unfortunately this has been my experience of a Mexican family, dysfunctional is only the tip of the iceberg. I know they're not all the same though. |
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leslie
Joined: 08 Feb 2003 Posts: 235
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:27 am Post subject: |
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Bye
Last edited by leslie on Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:36 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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MELEE

Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 2583 Location: The Mexican Hinterland
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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leslie wrote: |
So, just like everywhere, I guess. Maybe Mexicans and foreigners are not so different after all. Some with close families, some with not-so-close families. |
I think this is totally true. The difference is not in what families are actually like, but the difference is what the culture values. American culture values independance (to a fault IMHO). Mexican culture values close knit-interdependant families, even when that is not the reality for many. |
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Dragonlady

Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 720 Location: Chillinfernow, Canada
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:08 am Post subject: |
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deleted
Last edited by Dragonlady on Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:37 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Guy Courchesne

Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: |
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One might say neither Canada nor the US has those either!
I think tradition is the bigger factor here. If we're talking wealth, Mexico was quite wealthy back in the day. The ageing population is a recent phenomenon without precendent, and if youth stay with family for only economic reasons, it could only be for very recent history. |
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