Job Discussion Forums

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

I wouldn't worry about death if I were you Scot47. You are much too mean to die.

leeroy · Joined: 30 Jan 2003 Posts: 777 Location: London UK

I have a suspicion that, in the world (ME excepted), there are more female ELTs than males. But that goes on a gut feeling from my (limited) personal experience...

Why do more men post here? I think it's the same on a lot of discussion forums - the style of communication seems very "male" somehow. OK, allow me to go on a tangent for a second...

1. A guy crashes his car. At the pub, he tells his mates - who go on to enquire about whose fault it was, whether he was adequately insured and the current state of the vehicle. A few might give advice, like "you should do this/have done this!..." etc..

2. A girl crashes her car. At the pub, she tells her mates - who offer consolidatory words, make sympathetic noises and share similar experiences of things that had happened to them or people they know. A few might enquire or speculate as to the girl's current or previous emotional well-being; "You must feel/have felt terrible!"

It's a simplistic generalisation, but one that might ring bells with a few of us. Male communication often focuses on sharing objective and direct information. (This is often mis-interpreted I think by females as overly controlling or unsympathetic.) Women often prefer to refer to the subjective, and to how people feel or relate to others. To grossly over-simplify, men are "doers", women are "understanders".

(In evolutionary terms, perhaps these characteristics made sense. The men went out and "did" the hunting, while the women stayed in the cave and supported the family on a more affective level (while, of course, doing the cooking Wink

). These days, these characteristics (or, "Gender Appropiate Behaviour") don't seem as pronounced - evidently a sign of the times.)

Internet discussion forums, in all their wonder, do not assist the communication of emotions and emotional functions (like giving sympathy) as much as more direct and objective information (like how to find a job in Saudi). Words on a screen can easily tell me how much money I'm going to make in a Japanese language school - they are noticably more "clunky" when it comes to developing or discussing personal relationships. Sure, emoticons help, but to really connect with someone you have to be physically close to them - at least IMHO.

So, my tentative conclusion? More men come here because they are inherently more suited to the style of communication that internet discussion forums provide.

I can already feel the wrath of Denise and Nomadder, and can hear Capergirl sharpening her knives in the distance! I'm not saying that men are better at using these forums, just that it often tends to suit their needs more accurately! Am I in the clear? Smile

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Well put Leeroy. I agree with you on many of your points. I don't agree about the evolutionary bit, but it was well said. My wife doesn't understand why I would want to talk to a bunch of strangers on the internet. Good point, but I like to stay informed.

nomadder · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 3:06 pm Post subject:

Maybe women are better at solitude or would spend more time reading or doing other things. Men always seem to have all their gadgets no matter where in the world they are-TVs, music systems, computers etc. Maybe also women would rather save money rather than be on computers or at least I did when abroad. Now I have free access.

But I still stand by my theory that men are the yackers. My father goes out to coffee with men almost every day. Cafes and bars around the world are full of men(yes and women too but in some places mostly men-partly due to cultural restraints) yacking. About what? See the Personal Ad thread. I think it was Deborah Ann's post.

nomadder · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 3:07 pm Post subject:

Oh and Leeroy have no fear, I love your posts. Place emotion here

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

BethMac · Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 79

Methinks leeroy is afraid of women. Very Happy

johnslat · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 9:33 pm Post subject: Viva la difference

Dear BethMac,
Well, I can't speak for leeroy, but women can certainly scare the bejesus out of me. It's mainly the "communication" thing, I guess. I don't know how many times I've been clueless about how a woman is feeling when it supposedly should have been obvious. Warning: Generalization ahead - sometimes I really do think that men and women have such very different perspectives on so many things, such different priorities, such different ways of handling life's issues. But then, it would be a much more boring world, I imagine, if the two genders were too much alike. So, in the final analysis: Viva la difference.
Regards,
Clueless John

BethMac · Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 79

Dear John,

As clueless as men are, we women still find them appealing. Go figure. I believe you are right about men and women having "different perspectives" and "different priorities", particularly when it comes to significant relationships. However, I'm not convinced that this has much (or anything) to do with which gender posts more/less on a forum such as this one.

Regards,

Beth

P.S. Sorry about the "Dear John" letter.

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

Leeroy, with the exception of your evolutionary stretch, that was a great post.

I have a different and much simpler theory.

Everyone likes communication.

Women like to talk on the phone. Men don't.

foster · Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS

Valid points Leeroy...I am female and I like reading the posts and tend to post when I have something relevant to say. Sometimes tho, the topic has been over talked and I prefer to just let others take over.

nomadder · Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:20 pm Post subject:

You certainly see lots of men on phones-cell phones at least. All the better if in a restaurant or a car. Must be that gadget thing again.

Personally I often envision a life where email was my main form of communication. Phones only when necessary.

nomadder · Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:23 pm Post subject:

Back to Johnslat's interesting comment. It's true we have trouble understanding each other but I wonder if women can't say the same about men. Often words and actions don't seem to have much connection to one another. What are you thinking and more importantly why? Laughing

BethMac · Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 79

I hate talking on the phone. Rolling Eyes

johnslat · Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:00 pm Post subject: Phoniness

Dear BethMac,
"I hate talking on the phone."
Me too - and I think I know why. It's (for me) mainly the "pressure" to SAY something, usually without enough time to reflect. That dead silence over the phone lines is lethal - you feel compelled to fill it up with something, ANYTHING. I much prefer e-mail and/or regular letters to the phone or to those darn "instant messengers", which are just as bad as calls.
Regards,
John