Job Discussion Forums

[Sutherland]

Taikibansei, thanks for the help, you have had the most right-on advice so far. I don't want to be suing anyone, I was asking about organizations like the one you're advocating for the express purpose of back-up in case it gets ugly.

And sorry for the rant, it's just annoying to be in this situation (and again) and be told you can't change the attitudes, you can't change the country, because dude, I know (not you, the other guy). And also be told, just move, it's not big! It is a big. Looking for another employer and moving is a big deal. Having worked four months at a place that I wouldn't be able to put on my resume through no fault of my own is a big deal. Sexual harassment and having to deal with it by job-hopping is a big deal, not a minor nuisance, this is the second time in a year I'm dealing with it, I've known other girls have had to deal with it, not to mention getting asked if you're a prostitute every other day (South Korea) and the usual sexism. I'm not saying guys face no problems whatsoever here. I am aware that the dudes of this forum have to face all sorts of annoying things. But girls have to face those same things, plus this crap. So you know the next time you're annoyed at having to go to school sick or getting bilked on your contract or deal with some random miscommunication or whatevs, be thankful you don't have to drop everything and move the second your employer gets his perv on.

[Sutherland]

Fox1, thanks for your reply, I posted the above before I read it.

[fox1]

i can't imagine what it's like to be a woman. but I can say that i've had good bosses and a-hole boss here. When I had the a-hole in charge of me, life wasn't fun. It's not sexual harrassment but he wasn't fair. Anyway, i got out and you don't look back. Random things.. it is a huge country, people (future employers) DO understand.. this type of thing happens all the time. There are bad bosses all over. People do understand that you have reasons to quit, to get out, to move on.

The other thing.. I don't know what you're going through. I do know that for me, I was really stressed at the time and my problems with my boss seemed so big. But really, they're not... especially when you have gotten out! No-one deserves an unfair boss.

Sorry, I know I'm probably not helping! I know it sounds like I'm saying "Quit" but I'm not saying either way in your case. I'm not there.

Anyway, good luck. You know I've been a member here for 5 years.. have posted like once a year or something or less lately but I wanted to try and offer some ideas that may help here.

[seklarwia]

I think you should stop Fox. Having an unfair boss is not the same as sexual harrassment. You can move on from an unfair boss, but harrassment often leaves the victim with low-self esteem and feeling vunerable and scared.

Did you fear for your personal safety when you were dealing with your old boss? Did you fear that you might be in someway responsible for your unfair treatment? Did your bad experience with this one boss lead you to hating or being scared of other people of the same sex? Because these are only some of the emotional trials that might have to be faced by victims of sexual harrassment.

[fox1]

where did i say its the same?

also, you have no idea about the emotional effects of that situation on me.

and yes to some of your questions.

[seklarwia]

You didn't say they were the same but you are responding to a post about sexual harrassment with your experience about an unfair boss. Normally people would post their experience if they thought it was in some way relevant due to similarities.

[Bread]

Don't even want to think about this any more

[fox1]

First, about Bread's comment above:
um, I'm not going to comment on that. I will definitely say, from what I know, sexual harrassment is much less about the physical than it is about power. The form of abuse perpetrated by someone in authority is what makes it insidious.

Seklarwia: Re: having an a-hole boss whether you're a woman or a man:
If you're saying there is absolutely zero commonality in our experiences as men and women and I have no right to post my experiences in this thread, that's fine.

You seem to say there is 0.0000000 cross-over or commonality in having an a-hole for a boss whether you are a man or a woman, including cases of sexual harrassment in the cases of women .. sorry, in general, not talking about this poster.

I'm saying there is some cross-over, some degree of commonality in having an a-hole for a boss in our experiences as men and women.

I'm not saying it's the same.

[Sutherland]

Bread and fox1 et al: I didn't make my comments to get into a competition over whether guys or girls have it worse. It was just a comment made out of the frustration of the moment and when you're angry you tend to generalize while trying to make sense out of the situation. Is this an Asia thing? Is this a girl in Asia thing? Is this a blond girl in Asia thing? And so on. It's absolutely true that men can face sexual harassment and get less sympathy when they encounter it. Bread, I'm sorry for your experiences. You have my sympathy. I get comments from my students all day long, too, no matter how I dress. Seems like white people are sexualized here regardless of gender. And I haven't even addressed how much better we have it than native English speakers of color, who have much more difficulty than us even procuring a job in the first place. Again, everyone, thanks for the help.

[fox1]

"Bread and fox1 et al: I didn't make my comments to get into a competition over whether guys or girls have it worse."

OK. i don't get why you address that to me because I'm not about that in this thread. I simply responded to what Seklarwia replied and I wrote Seklarwia's name where I meant that. Anyway, doesn't matter. For what it's worth, I absolutely think women, foreign women, go through much tougher crap than men on a daily basis inside and outside work here in Japan.

I mentioned this earlier but one thing I want to get across: I don't think this is about foreigners or about foreign women and so on. This is about Japanese men. As I said yesterday, Japanese women are subjected to sexual harrassment extremely often all over the place (on trains, on the street, at work, etc.). Foreign women just happen to be in Japan and suffer more of the same, but the genesis of this problem is not to do with foreign women or blondness and so on. The problem is and has been HERE (and in Korea) for a long time and it's about the men themselves.

Sutherland, I can only say one other thing.. keep it in mind if you want to or leave it. This may or may not be true but it's my perspective. I'm talking generally now. Whenever foreigners get into any kind of problem or conflict or dispute or miscommunication with Japanese, um 98% of the time, it is seen as our fault, no matter what kind of simple logic, rationality or Western logic you apply. In short, we are generally at fault and the Japanese can do no wrong. Sorry, that may be untrue but it's how I have seen things in five years here.

I sincerely wish you all the best with everything.

[flyer]

Yes, here in Japan the Japanese person would be believed before a foreigner in 9 cases out of 10. Yes, if it is getting bad (and only you can judge that) I would get out

I also doubt (referring to a few earlier posts) if you can equate guys getting harrassed as being similar to girls??? I am pretty sure its much harder for girls (??)

Good luck

[stefanreynolds]

get yourself a boyfriend

[flyer]

[TokyoLiz]

stefanreynolds, your response is not only totally of topic but also irrelevant.

Sexual harassment is a very serious social problem.

It is against the laws of Japan to subject workers to compensatory and environmental sexual harassment. See this summary and citation of the law.

http://www.japanlaw.info/law2004/JAPANBIZLAWLITE4GAIJIN_SEXUAL_HARRASSMENT.html

[Piri-Piri]