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Greg 09
Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 169
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 Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:52 am Post subject: |
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To the OP
I was in pretty much your same situation... same age, living and working circs etc. I have property back in the States that I rent and some work connections that I decided to leave behind.
Moved to China last year and could not be happier. I've met every kind of person mentioned in this thread so far and have developed the usual strategies for weeding out the bad apples. My circle of friends here are friendly, decent, honest and kind people. I simply avoid the others, and you seem level-headed enough to know the difference too.
As for women, pick a place in the world and you'll find angels and demons. Why would China be any different? There's a lot to learn about the women here, but think with the big head and you'll have a nice time. 
I won't advise you one way or the other, only tell you that for me its a great experience, and I won't be going back any time soon. Read everything you can here and pack a balanced view in your carry-on.
Good luck, and feel free to PM me. |
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Zero
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
Posts: 1402
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| Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| CarlD26 wrote: |
| Zero wrote: |
| Yes, I think that aspect would be pretty easy. |
Disappointed to see you came back but did not respond to anything I had to say to you.
So what do you have to say? Why do you think our experiences seem to be so different? And so different from many of my other colleagues and friends as well..May I ask where in China you were? Perhaps Shanghai? I only went there briefly and prefer many other places.
I am not trying to derail the thread. Actually, it is kind of relevant because I don't want to give our OP the wrong idea about the country and its people. If you are careful and think before doing, stay out of trouble (sketchy clubs) you will be okay and meet good people and have loads of fun! |
Because our two posts are not mutually exclusive, and I don't think a tit-for-tat would be productive. If you have a girlfriend who is genuine and sticks by you, who am I to argue with that? I am married to a Chinese woman, myself, and have been for quite a few years now, and she is not out to do me in or cheat me or any of the nasty things we've discussed. I also know other couples where that seems to be the case.
It doesn't change the fact that the women most likely to be involved in a relationship with a foreigner have specific, non-romantic reasons for doing so. Especially if they met in China, and especially if there is a significant age gap. I've seen it enough to know. Am I generalizing? Yes. If you want to avoid generalizing, then go meet, observe and interview each of the world's 6 million or so inhabitants.
And sometimes it isn't cut and dry. I knew one young woman who studied at a U.S. university. She had an American boyfriend. From what I could tell, she genuinely liked him, even though he didn't earn much and she actually seemed to subsidize him. She desperately wanted to marry him, and openly admitted it was because she wanted to stay in the U.S. So I asked her, what if he doesn't marry you before your (immigration) deadline? Her reply: "Then I'll marry someone else." But it was a combination. She liked slacker white guys, had no interest in Chinese guys even if they had the "right" citizenship, and preferred to marry this guy if at all possible. |
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TexasHighway
Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 779
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| Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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zero wrote:
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| ...the women most likely to be involved in a relationship with a foreigner have specific, non-romantic reasons for doing so |
This stands in stark contrast to the romantic, saintly FTs who only have the purest of intentions with Chinese women! |
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Beyond1984
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 462
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| Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:29 am Post subject: Cool, a condo in Vancouver, BC! |
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"I'm also worried about renting out my condo here since I won't be in the country." -mrbuzz
I locked up my Walden Pond place and went abroad to live and work back in '02. I was able to rent it out about 6 years later, after discovering craigslist.  I set the rent fairly low, with the stipulation that the renter take care of all repairs/ improvements and deduct the costs from the rent (he has never done so), and harvest the grass as needed.
About 20 people responded, and my choice turned out well. He deposits the rent into my account at the Concord branch of BOA faithfully.
-HDT
You might advertise on craigslist for an apartment swap (craig now even has a Dalian list) ... though if you have a big mortgage and condo fees that might not be feasible.  |
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mrbuzz
Joined: 08 Nov 2010
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:23 am Post subject: Re: Stay |
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| xiaolongbaolaoxi wrote: |
| A five or ten year commitment is an extraordinarily long commitment, particularly if you are looking at real estate issues in your home country. |
I can see ten years being a long commitment, but what about five years? To me it doesn't seem like a long time. I know it's different for everyone, but I wonder how long most FT's plan to stay before they come to China. |
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Greg 09
Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 169
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| Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 7:19 am Post subject: |
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Unless I'm mistaken there aren't too many 5 or 10 year ESL contracts being offered up in China, and from my perspective you'd be crazy to sign one without some serious first hand knowledge of the place. So any commitment past the standard one year contract would be solely your own. Each year you'll decide whether to stay where you are, go to another city/school, or go back home. Its a pretty easy out if you decide China is not for you.
I don't see how real estate is much of an issue unless your mortgage is so upside down - and the rental market so bad - that you can't rent it for more than your monthly nut. If its free and clear then no worries, just hire an agent and bank the income.
I came to China with no plans whatsoever past the first year. I have a very sweet situation here and my Uni is making it highly worthwhile for me to stay here another year, and that will give me time to look around a little longer for bigger and better opportunities. |
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mrbuzz
Joined: 08 Nov 2010
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Greg 09 wrote: |
| Unless I'm mistaken there aren't too many 5 or 10 year ESL contracts being offered up in China |
I understand this, I was thinking about the time commitment to stay in China. I have usually spent about 7 - 10 years at my past "careers" and was thinking about the same for China. Hopefully when I'm getting close to 60 I can still find a nice 45 year old wife... |
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drjtrekker
Joined: 16 Feb 2008
Posts: 251
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| Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 1:54 am Post subject: |
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| Stay home... |
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