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AGoodStory
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
Posts: 738
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 Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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| spiral78 wrote: |
. . . hopefully not being held captive . . .  |
Spiral, do I detect a new theme in your posts?
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spiral78
Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll try not to run it into the ground |
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santi84
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Posts: 1317
Location: under da sea
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| Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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I am also living 5000km away from the closest relative  Funny enough, I do have the husband, the grandchildren, the "dream" - I just have to fumble through my poor L2 skills to buy the groceries   You can have "the dream" anywhere in the world. You need to live your life for yourself and not for others. They'll get over it. Good luck! |
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Justin Trullinger
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3110
Location: Seoul, South Korea and Myanmar for a bit
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| Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:24 am Post subject: |
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Extend the hand of love and friendship to your concerned family members,
BUT, first be sure to extend the middle finger of said hand.
I mean honestly, who do these people think they are????
Nobody else wants what you want. Nobody else is going to be miserable if you don't get what you want.
The heck with them. Explain your reasons why this is a good thing to do. ONCE.
If they keep on it after that, point out that you are an educated adult, fully competent to make this decision on your own, that you have made it, and that you are not interested in discussing it further.
If they STILL won't stop, put down the phone or leave the room. (whichever applies.)
People will continue to share their "opinions" about your decisions in disrespectful ways for as long as you allow them to. Put your foot down.
You may be thinking "I couldn't hang up the phone on my own mother." Well...then you're giving her permission to talk to you however she likes.
For what it's worth, my folks did come around, for hte most part. Only took about 10 years.
Good luck,
Justin |
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justcolleen
Joined: 07 Jan 2004
Posts: 654
Location: Egypt, baby!
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| Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:01 am Post subject: Re: family pressure |
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| elizamina wrote: |
So, really, experienced overseas teachers, how do you deal with this? How do you deal with everyone telling you that what you're doing is a horrible, life destroying mistake? Do your families ever come around? Or do they remind you for years how you're ruining your lives? What do you do? How do you deal or cope? It's becoming increasingly hard to feel excited and happy about my decision when everyone around me is telling me that I'm doing it all wrong. |
This is not your problem. It's theirs. Let them deal with it.
While they're dealing with it, in whatever way that happens, keep living your life the way you choose to live it.
Seriously. You're (married) adults, and adults make their own decisions. |
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cvmurrieta
Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 209
Location: Sendai, Japan
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:37 am Post subject: |
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| Glenski wrote: |
I recall that after 2-3 years of being in Japan, on one phone call, my mother said something about how soon would my "fling" with Japan be over. That, despite monthly newsletters to her and dozens of others describing my daily happenings and the culture around me.
Encourage family and friends to visit you, too. Living abroad is a 2-way street. |
Sounds like my mother. She had posted a comment to another friend on Facebook hoping that I have "gotten Japan out of my system." When I heard that, it made me feel as if I have a disease
My mom made that comment in spite of my weekly Skype sessions detailing my life in Sendai.
Unfortunately, I had not been able to persuade family to visit me 
I have visited family in the USA twice in my two and a half years in Japan.
I feel as if my family is expecting me to make all the effort  |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:49 am Post subject: |
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| My family won't visit me either. high costs, long flights. They just can't do it at their age. |
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hollysuel
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 225
Location: Connecticut, USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| naturegirl321 wrote: |
| My family won't visit me either. high costs, long flights. They just can't do it at their age. |
I actually paid for my folks to come see me in Finland. For them, they just didn't have the money, but I also think they were kind of scared. Since then, though, my mom returned to Finland to see me and even took a trip to Israel (which was a dream of her that was fulfilled). |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home
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| Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:09 am Post subject: |
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| hollysuel wrote: |
| naturegirl321 wrote: |
| My family won't visit me either. high costs, long flights. They just can't do it at their age. |
I actually paid for my folks to come see me in Finland. For them, they just didn't have the money, but I also think they were kind of scared. Since then, though, my mom returned to Finland to see me and even took a trip to Israel (which was a dream of her that was fulfilled). |
I've offered. It's still too long of a flight for them. Just to give you an idea, my dad lives in Chicago and in order to visit his father in CA, he takes two flights. He can't stand a direct to CA. BUt coming to Peru or Korea, that's a whole different ball game. |
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