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Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Skits? Never heard of them. At all the bonenkai I have attended, they just eat and drink, and sometimes there is an exchange of gifts.

Despite the fact that I don't drink, I attend. People will indeed loosen up after some alcohol, and not all Japanese drink, so you can more easily get to know people in such a casual setting. You will find sloppy drunks everywhere, but in my experience that just does not happen often at a bonenkai. It's more at the second or third parties (which are easily enough avoided, so don't feel obligated there).

Is Bingo such a drag? That's a common party game. There are others somewhat inventive at times, and they are all harmless, so just go with the flow. It's all part of learning Japanese culture.

The only really annoying thing to me is smoking. I just can't tolerate smoke, but you might get lucky and have all the smokers sitting together away from the others. Case by case.

If you want to beg off, go ahead, but keep in mind a couple of things:

1. You might be obligated to pay anyway. Find out. I know a married couple who opted not to go and just assumed they would not have to pay, but it was embarrassing when they were approached later. These 2 were very stingy people, so it was no surprise, yet they knew in advance.

2. Don't say you would rather be with another friend. "Rather" is not cool. Say you already had plans made and leave it at that.

People say they want to come to Japan and learn the culture, but they refuse certain things. Nobody has to learn it all, but if you don't even give it a chance, or look at it from the J point of view, you will never really know what you have chosen to miss.

Cool Teacher · Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:34 pm Post subject:

On the drink alcohol or not drink slcohol I know that some people just say "Ocha, kudasai!" Very Happy

My friends did this when they went two of them! Shocked

They asked me too, "Ocha?" Shocked

"No Jose!" And I got beer! Lots of it.

But yeah, it is fun but the next day or next week or year it si best not to say, "Ahaaaahahaha! You were legless at the Bonenkai! You big drunker!" Very Happy

Just smile as if you now share a secret! Wink

steki47 · Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Posts: 1029 Location: BFE Inaka

rich45 · Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 127

So I had my bonenkai last night and it was fine, especially after plenty of beers. I did well with the seating situation, apart from the fact I was with three people who were all drinking non-alcoholic beer, which proves that it isn't necessary to drink alcohol if you don't want to.

The teacher in charge did a quiz on the big screen which dragged on for about 45 minutes, then we all played bingo which was quite enjoyable as I was very drunk at this point. When I got bingo, I had to choose a present and lo and behold I chose some manga comics! I later exchanged with another teacher.

I was disappointed there was no after party, and in fact most of the other teachers seem quite boring, even the younger ones. Probably for the best though judging by my hangover this morning.

So thanks for the replies. Next one will be in March...my leaving party! Cool

Cool Teacher · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:07 am Post subject:

Cool Teacher · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:43 am Post subject:

It's Scary! · Joined: 17 Apr 2011 Posts: 823

steki47 · Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Posts: 1029 Location: BFE Inaka

teacheratlarge · Joined: 17 Nov 2011 Posts: 192 Location: Japan

Interesting replies. I have found even when language is not a problem, sometimes bonenkais can be dull as you may have less in common with your coworkers than you thought. Where I work, my departments have meetings/parties in the spring only generally, and even some of those I skip as people I know don't attend and there do tend to be speeches at some of them all night. As to brownie points earned, well I have mixed views about that whole route, but seeing I'm tapping this on my smartphone, I'll expand on that another time.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

OneJoelFifty · Joined: 06 Oct 2009 Posts: 463

I really enjoy the parties with the staff at school, I was a little hesitant when I first joined and couldn't communicate much, but I think my attendance was appreciated. I found that for the first couple I was shuffled off to one side in the seating plan and felt a bit of a burden to the Japanese teachers I was sitting with, but as they've got to know me better I now usually get seated with teachers that I'm more friendly with.

I'm a big drinker and have to say that it makes it easier to 'fit in', especially if communication is an issue. My vice principal and principal enjoy feeding me sake when we get to the second parties. I've also had some very good conversations about school, my plans for the future, the situation with the BoE and dispatch companies - more serious subjects - with the senior people at school on these occasions. I'd say if you do have anything on your mind about students or teaching it's one of the better places to have a conversation about it. Within reason.

That said, I can see why some people wouldn't enjoy it. It depends if it's important to you to try and fit in more with the Japanese teachers at school. At my school the games and speeches are usually kept to a minimum.

Should point out that this is for a JHS, not an eikawa.

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I've already attended one shinnenkai, a new year party. I can't imagine missing out on these things!

About skits - I have been in scripted skits that roast principals and school trustees, and sang in a chorus that wrote original hilarious lyrics for the school song. That was pretty cheeky.

Go have fun. Happy new year, everybody!