Job Discussion Forums

[spiral78]

On the 'damaged' bit of the 'friends' issue

[DebMer]

[artemisia]

I think it�s quite natural to have friends that come and go if you move around quite a lot, regardless of the reason why you move. That could be because I mostly end up making friends with those of similarly lazy mindset. But I�ve gone years without any contact with someone and then it�s suddenly all started up again and the friendship just continues, more less, where it left off (with an overall �catch-up�).

Sometimes you have friends at particular stages of your life and they don�t always reflect your later views � you (or they) move on in ways that have nothing to do with physical distance. Likewise, I know I�ve ended up being friends with those I�d never have dreamed of wanting to know at a younger age because of our differences eg; having very different political views. Moving around can sometimes have the effect of making you become more tolerant and open than you might otherwise have been, but I'd agree that maintaining contact over a long period of time does require a certain amount of effort on both sides.

[Madame J]

Good thread.

As one or two others have said, I'm not really in contact with any ex colleagues save for the occasional facebook status reply/"like", but I've maintained contact with the majority of local friends I met though other means when teaching in Indonesia. Admittedly that was only a year and a bit ago so things could change, but I've so far managed to stay in touch with a lot of people far better than I could have imagined.

As for other expats, that's a bit different. There's a small number of people I occasionally exchange emails/facebook chats with, but it's pretty sporadic. I do still think of them as people I could visit anytime I fancied a trip to their country, but we've lost the closeness we used to have in a way I don't think I have with the majority of my Indonesian friends. Why there's a difference, I'm still wondering.

[veiledsentiments]

[Prof.Gringo]