Job Discussion Forums

[cphaslanger]

I talked with friends who recently returned from Mexico, and my woman friend said (when her husband prompted her to tell me how it felt to be a WOMAN in Mexico) that the men in Mexico are "persistent". She went on to explain that in America when a guy hits on you on the street, you don't know if he's crazy or something! (She's been in Queens, NY for years). But in Mexico, it felt harmless to her. She said that it was culturally expected of men to compliment women, and she didn't feel that the men actually wanted anything from her. In fact, she said, when a friend would tease the men by acting serious in wanting to take them up on their advances, they would get tongue tied and not know what to do, but did not want to run away with the woman or anything!!!! So, it seems that if one could smile and say nothing or say thank you, no, or whatever, that it would be completely appropriate.

[Ben Round de Bloc]

A getting-hit-on-while-smiling story to share:

A few weeks after moving here, I'd gone downtown to have dinner one night. I was renting a small house with a couple of friends only about a 15-minute walk from downtown at the time. On my way home I was cutting through a small park, when I noticed a young woman sitting alone on a park bench. She was dressed rather attractively from what I could see -- the lighting wasn't the best -- and as I got close to where she was sitting, she held up a cigarette and made the international sign for Got a light? Being the caballero that I am (or at least try to be,) I smiled in a friendly way and whipped out my lighter. While I was lighting her cigarette, she said, "Oye, guapo, �a d�nde vas? �Est�s ocupado?" All the pieces came together in my mind at about the same time. I was being hit on. The voice wasn't quite what I was expecting. The hand steadying mine on the lighter felt a bit too large and strong. The hair was a wig. I'm sure that somewhere in there my friendly smile had changed to mouth agape. I think I bumbled out something about being late for an appointment . . . at 10:30 at night? I didn't stick around long enough to find out if smiling encouraged persistence.

[thelmadatter]

ROFL!

Wait? Are you trying to say that you are not turned on by large women with firm holds? Or are you saying she wasnt "woman" enough for you?

trying hard here to appear innocent

[ls650]

Was her name 'Lola'?

[j.lu]

Anybody tried watching the locals? How do women in your part of Mexico shake off a man?

-Jenn

[Ben Round de Bloc]

In La Rep�blica de Yucat�n it's rare for a local woman to even give a man the time of day unless she has been formally introduced to him by a mutual friend or has had informal contact with him over a period of time (work in the same place, attend the same school, go to the same church, etc.) In general, if a local woman doesn't want a man's attention, she ignores him, avoids eye contact, maintains more than normal personal space/distance, and does absolutely nothing that in any way would encourage him. If he's overly aggressive, if she's not the shy type, and if there are other people within earshot, a somewhat loud �Qu� te pasa? usually sends him on his way.

Keep in mind that what works for local women doesn't always work for foreign women. Many foreign women who don't want to be hit on unconsciously send messages that indicate to local men that they have a chance. Also, many local men's assumptions about local women are different from their assumptions about foreign women. Additionally, what may seem like a friendly, innocent, one-time conversation with a local man/stranger can easily result in the guy attempting to follow a woman to her home.

[MELEE]

[MixtecaMike]

As a minor addition to this discussion, local really does mean local, my wife is Guatemalan and gets a lot more unwanted attention than people who have spent all their lives here. I think it would be fair to say women who have moved here from other parts of Mexico are also seen by males as "exotic" and therefore probably "easier" than the local product.