Job Discussion Forums

[go_ABs]

[St. Mongo]

it's at the bottom linked to a www button.

I never said that anyone here had to go read my journal and I really don't care if anyone does or not. I was simply pointing out why I refere to my boyfriend in the way that I do. I don't see why you feel it neccessary to be so rude to me.

[Cdaniels]

Moonraven apologized! She really does mean well. And I think what might otherwise be considered rude does serve a purpose on this forum. If you are upset by "virtual criticism," you might not be prepared for brutal disillusionment of long term travelling. Depression and worse is common in long-term travellers. I beleive I heard that the Japanese coined a term for Japanese travellers who become suicidal after living in Paris for a long time. That might be a little over-dramatic. The movie "Lost in Translation" for instance, does get across the feeling of extreme loneliness of living in Japan as a foreigner. Have you seen that movie, St Mongo? Remember, the people it didn't work out for, and who have regrets, aren't likely to be checking out these forums. Considering all that, moonraven may be doing you a favor by being confrontational. (her advice has given me somthing to think about, anyways)

[Glenski]

If anyone else has not noticed, this is the Newbie Forum. People here who ask for information are expected to be starry-eyed teacher wannabes, regardless of age, and people who offer advice are expected to treat them nicely.

In my opinion, moonraven didn't do that. Curt replies to dump a boyfriend are not warranted. I also don't believe moonraven had his/her heart in the apology, as evidenced by the immediate "explanation" thereafter. I am reminded of Patton's apology/explanation when he slapped a soldier.

Bottom line, let's all treat newbies as they should be. We all know what happens when one ASSUMES. Look at the trouble it caused here.

[Ben Round de Bloc]

Just a bit of advice to the OP from yet another seasoned teacher:

~ Don't make any potential employers aware of your blog. The attitude that comes through in your blog would turn off most legitimate DOSs. There may be a whole lot more to you than what is in your blog, but all of that hating your jobs, being fired unfairly and for no legitimate reason, and a few other things wouldn't give you many points toward getting hired. Also be aware that you may encountrer potential employers who feel that someone who worked in a porno shop may not be the best candidate to teach EFL to little kids. I'm not making a judgment call here, but there are employers who will. You also come across as very immature for someone in her late 20s, another thing that won't earn you many points on the hiring scale.

~ As for the rudeness of some people here who responded to your posts, there's no excuse for rudeness, but still you'd better get used to the idea. If you do end up teaching and living in a foreign country, you most likely will have a number of experiences where you feel you are being treated rudely. If you react to rudeness in a foreign country the way you've reacted to some of the rudeness on this forum, you'll be setting yourself up for some hard times. Again, it's your attitude coming through that's going to cause you lots of problems when working in a foreign land, I believe. The idea that This is me, this is how I talk, and this is how I am, so take it or leave it doesn't go very far for most people out in the real world of TEFL, especially those who are just breaking into the field. Your current financial situation greatly limits your options, so try not to let your attitude limit them even more.

~ The bottom line is that you already know what you want. You want to go teach EFL in a foreign country, and you want The Boyfriend to go with you, because you can't bear to be without him. Does he really want to go? Would you consider going without him? These seem to be things the two of you need to work out, and nothing anyone can write on this forum will change that.

[St. Mongo]

to the people here who actually managed to offer me fair and sound advice without judging me, or at the very least, keeping your personal opinions about me to yourselves, thank you. You have been most helpful. As for the rest of you...nevermind. It's pretty clear that I am not welcome on this board and trying to defend myself has only made things worse. I don't think I will be posting again.

[marblez]

St. Mongo,

There's nothing wrong with you posting here. Don't let a few rude comments chase you away. You'll have to get used to it, we all have gotten it at one time or another.

I understand your boyfriend situation, I'm in the same boat. I'm not going to bother with that because I don't see a problem with it. If he's willing, let him try. If not, you should be able to last during a short separation if your relationship is strong enough.

My only suggestion to you is that you remove your blog link. Your blog, while obviously personal (which is fine), is really inappropriate for a messageboard where you are seeking job advice. In addition, some employers view these boards. You wouldn't write those swears on your resume (I hope), or use words such as '*beep*' or 'pornstore', so...?

[dmb]

I'm with marblez

[Ming]

Dear St. Mongo,
I have not been on the forum for awhile and was quite interested to see your post.
I have made the definate decision to take a year's teaching (at least) position in China next fall. I will have celebrated my 23 wedding anniversary, my last child will be graduated from high school and my life will once again be my own. HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO YOUR QUESTION YOU ASK ?
Well, when I approached my husband with my idea. he said , " Great, about time you did something for yourself and something that you are interested in. Go for it ! " (I have been a stay home mum for 20 years).

This is your dream....not your boyfriend's....I say go. Go overseas and teach if this is something YOU want to do..
If/when you return and the love between you is still there, then you will bring to the relationship something that no amount of time at home would have given..Self fulfillment..A lived dream...Who knows if you do not go, and the two of you marry (or whatever) , the passing up of this opportunity could fester into resentment..Your bofriend does not deserve that..Love between two people should not mean sacrifice of one's self or dreams..It should nuture - even if it means seperation.

I wish you well. As Josh Groban (a singer) says, " Someone I am is waiting for my courage, the one I want, I one I will become will catch me......I will not stop breathing if I do not have someone beside me."

(PS. I get blasted as well, usually for my spelling. "How can you consider teaching english, when you don't spell correctly ?" Is the usual statement.
Ah..maybe he is right..but that is why I will be taking a dictionary !
There are more helpful and kind people on the forum than there are cranky ones, so suck up the good stuff and expel the rest.)

[Spinoza]

[St. Mongo]

Ming,

thanks for your advice. I'm happy to have found a few people here who are supportive rather than judgemental...it means a lot.

I think when push comes to shove, I'll go...with or without him. If I don't, I'll grow to resent him and blame him from keeping me from my dreams, and you're right, he doesn't deserve that. I hope and pray and hope that he will come with me in the end, but I know that either way, he'll be there when I come back...as will your man.
It's just hard to leave the man you love.

[St. Mongo]

[SillySally]

I have been insulted. I am leaving.

EFL teachers get insulted regularly. We do not tuck the tail and take a hike. We tough it out.

Grow some thick skin and come teach EFL with a great bunch in China.

About boyfriends - they are like taxis, miss this one and another is just around the corner.

Best wishes whatever you decide!

I am a little "salty" but you would be too if you sat by the seashore selling sea shells to supplement your EFL salary!

[moonraven]

I agree with silly sally on this. And I suppose that because she, like I, appears to be a seasoned individual, will have her advice discarded with the same bratty attitude that was exhibited to me.

Brats are welcome on the forum in the sense that as dmb said: Everyone is welcome. None of us owns this forum.

But as Ben Round--another seasoned individual-- indicated, cheeky attitudes are not well-regarded in this field. And thin-skinned cheeky attitudes even less.

And a word to the wise, or one day to be wise: Many employers and supervisors are seasoned individuals--folks who have been around the block--and although they may accommodate you ONCE by listening to your I wanna eat my cake and have it too tantrums, and tell you not to take yourself so seriously--they probably will not do it twice.

[St. Mongo]

whatever moonraven. I'm not listening to you anymore.