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[ln]

After living comfortably in Estonia where I studied for my B.A., I went to Lisbon to do the CELTA, intending never to return to the USA, my native land. Unfortunately, I found substantially less comfortable accomodation with a crazed ex-clown who objected to the flushing of the toilet in the morning prior to my departure for class. After humbly apologizing after many a telling-off by said ex-clown, I snapped the Sunday prior to the final week of the course and found myself homeless. Fortunately, a friend of a co-trainee offered to let me stay in his spare room, which, unlike the clown's domicile, even contained a bed, to my delight. That evening, I responded to his advances by insisting that I had to get to sleep, as he was neither my type nor was I willing to prostitute myself to have a roof over my head.

A month after completing the CELTA, I went to Seoul to teach a class of Diesel-clad five year-olds. I had been promised single accomodation in Apgujeong, which I was assured was the richest area of Seoul. Naturally, I thought of my Tallinn palace and giddily anticipated the style to which I would soon become accustomed.

Upon my arrival, I was taken, sweating booze, directly to the school, where they wanted me to begin working that very day. I insisted on resting first, so Mrs. Kim, the owner, who did not speak English, took me to her apartment, where I stayed for two nights. I stayed in a colleague's apartment for the next two nights. The two following weeks I spent in the head teacher's apartment. They finally moved me to my very own studio hovel, reminiscent of a seedy motel room. I spent the month frequenting Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' Donuts in a desperate attempt to avoid the squalid little hole. As soon as I was paid, I fled the country.

I recently accepted, then rapidly declined, a position in Moscow after reading postings indicating that I would be worked to death for a pittance for the privelege of living in some ghastly tenement.

Is there anywhere I might be able to get an entry-level position, possibly even part-time (supposing part-time work qualifies me to work legally) and not have to live in a hovel? I enjoy my creature comforts and don't want to be worked to death. A donut is ok from time to time, but I'd much rather have a pleasant place to live. I'd also prefer to go somewhere where the locals like blonde, pale types, as they seem to in places like Mexico and Portugal. Any ideas?

[JZer]