Job Discussion Forums

[Sheikh N Bake]

Stream of consciousness, Batty Patty? You must have been reading too many graded readers. Of course, I didn't take the time to format for proper paragraphing; I copied and pasted from my memoirs, so perhaps the text looks unparagraphed.That must have confused you, poor dear.

By the way, I wonder whether Patty is a westerner at all. After all, anybody can pose as anybody here. Government agents are all over the Saudi streets and malls making sure we don't fraternize with the opposite sex and -- well, EVERYTHING is forbidden in the magic kingdom-- so I suspect Patty is one of three entities: (a) a government propaganda agent (b) a local self-appointed propaganda girl (after all, self-appointed muttawahs are everywhere in Saudi) or (c) just plain Batty Patty

[Cleopatra]

[globalnomad2]

Yes, Shake N Bake is my new summer handle.

cmp45 and sheikh Rad, thanks for the comments. Per your request, here's another true story from the annals. To be fair to the student, he didn't really chase down young boys on the corniche, but he was always making up stories about it:

...The problem with getting on a plane and going on vacation is, you have to return.
And then, having returned, I�m back in the classroom.
�Teacher, you go corniche?�
�Last night? No, why?�
�Why you don�t go corniche? Veddy beautiful.�
�Uh-huh. Jeddah same-same Geneva, right?�
�Yes, teacher, corniche veddy nice, with many fat boy!�
�Fat boy?�
�Ha ha! Man good, woman no good, but I like young fat boy, every night I go corniche and chase the fat boy, believe me, last night I running veddy fast an I get veddy beautiful fat boy,� � smack! goes his fist � �he look same-same baby doll, like Toys-R-Us baby, he have the fat cheek and I running down the corniche to catch him but he run veddy slow because he fat boy so I catch him no problem and�� smack � �believe me teacher!�
�Uh�huh. Let me get this straight. You chase little fat boys down the corniche?�
�Believe me, nice fat boy, spending the time.�
�And you��
Smack. �Yes, believe me, teacher, every night go corniche, find the fat boys!�

�This is the nadir of existence,� Mr. Toothpaste declares. He declares that every day after classes.
Nadir indeed. With the usual office griping continuing as backdrop, I write a mock financial news article while my classroom encounter is still fresh in my mind. It�s a form of catharsis.

[globalnomad2]

JEDDAH�April 17 (Corniche News Agency) Japanese electronics giants Sony and Nintendo today jointly unveiled a new pocket video game designed for the Saudi market.
�In the past, our famous Gameboy has enjoyed tremendous popularity worldwide,� Nomuru Wahdukahodicu (Workaholic�get it?), vice president for marketing at Sony, said today. �This includes the Arab world.�
Wahdukahodicu said the joint project has taken pocket video games a step beyond the unexpected. �The new game is not only more sophisticated, it is also market-specific to Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. So, after our success with Gameboy, I am pleased to announce Fatboy, the pocket game for the man of the corniche.�
Wahdukahodicu said the new game is more challenging and claimed the graphics are almost �Spielbahg-like.�
He said the software graphics depict realistic little Technicolor fat boys running down the Jeddah corniche being pursued by men in thobes and gutras flapping in the wind. The object is to rescue ten little fat boys by plucking them from the seawall and cramming them into your Land Cruiser before they hurl themselves into the waves.
�It is most diverting,� Takeio Samuraya, sales manager at Nintendo, said, �and clearly suited to the local culture. We would not market Fatboy in Japan, for instance, where the homosexual culture is far less pervasive and overt. So for the Japanese market of mostly straight men, we have developed Groperboy and Molest Man for the male who enjoys vicarious sexual harassment on subway trains.�
For the future, Nintendo will keep an eye on sales in Jeddah. If Fatboy the game takes off like the little fat boys in its graphics, the company has ambitions to market-test a full-sized Virtual Fatboy video game for the more affluent Saudi.
Kenji Companyman (get it?), a software engineer, explained. �The software scenario for this game will be truly interactive,� he said. �Players can cruise the corniche in a new Caprice in search of fresh and sassy fat boys without leaving the comfort of their tea rooms. The object, of course, is to capture a juicy one, but it won�t be easy. Dangerous obstacles abound. At one point, the Caprice�s accelerator sticks to the floor and the car takes off like a rocket. So the driver has to swerve to avoid Pakistani pedestrians, who are everywhere except on the sidewalk. And only a world-class driver can avoid crashing into the police car.�
If the driver does crash, however, there is still a 50/50 chance that the police officer will be tired from Ramadan and dismiss the driver with a magnanimous flick of the wrist.
Once the car is back under control, the player can triple-park it and pursue fat boys along the sea walk. But perils persist: some striplings turn out to be Royal Family runaways, while others play hard to get.
The two Japanese companies are also tailoring various new games to specific national markets. �Even now, our software creators are developing fresh new products for familiar markets,� Samuraya said. �Next year in France we expect to sell Insecureboy and Culturecontrolboy."
Competing giants are not taking all this lying down. Hitachi also has plans to penetrate the Saudi market with its own game, called Lazyboy, featuring adventures for the Saudi man of leisure in a recliner.

[007]

Globalnomad2, your stories make good script for Mickey Mouse film titled: Uncle Sam and the 40 English Fat Teachers in Ali Baba�s land

Genre: Mickey Mouse/Adventure, Run Toto Run
Keywords; Animals, Animals, and Drama
Status: Available On ESL Cafe/DVD
Release date: 2008
Price: on request.

Director: Uncle Sam
Writer: Globalnomad2
Script: Globalnomad2
Camera: Globalnomad2
Music: Globalnomad2

Film Copyright: Ali Baba Company, 2007

[Queen of Sheba]

[veiledsentiments]

QofS

I have met so many Western males - even the obviously straight ones - who can tell you plenty of tales like this. It seems that teaching adolescent male students is quite different from teaching women in the Gulf.

VS