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To Non-Muslim Women, How to Get Better Service..............
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trapezius



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Picking up the subtle, and not so subtle, hints from female dress in the Middle East is the stuff of studies and books.


Perhaps I should write a book as far as Saudi goes, having observed the [r]evolution of the abaya and the headscarf for 2.3 decades! Cool
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meyanga



Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 103
Location: Malaysia

PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Quote:

In Jeddah it makes absolutely no difference. I have never worn a scarf


If you've 'never worn a scarf' how can you say it makes no difference?

Quote:

You can often see young women and teenagers in the malls without scarves - don't know if they are Saudi or not (possibly Lebanese?)


Highly unlikely that these women are Saudi - even the most 'liberal' Saudi women cover their hair, at least while in the Kingdom. It's probable thee women are Syrian, Lebanese or Egyptian.

Quote:

they have their long flowing locks on full display and no-one seems to mind.


I don't think it's a question of anyone 'minding'. At least in the big cities, very few Saudis really take offence at foreign, non-Muslim women not covering their hair - which isn't to say they don't appreciate it when you do cover. As I say, it's more a question of your personal 'comfort zone', and this differs from one woman to the next. I would feel quite uncomfortable to be in public without my head covered, but it could be that this isa matter of habit for me by now. I have friends who don't cover their hair and that's fine for them - as I say, it really is up to the individual.


When I say it makes no difference I mean in terms of people staring or feeling like you are getting poor service. My colleagues and I travel to work by taxi every day and none of us cover. We have no problems that we are aware of.

If you have ever been to Al-Khayat Centre in Jeddah, you will see large proportion of women without their hair covered. Once again, whether they are Saudi or not is impossible for me to tell.

However I did run into a group of Saudi girls, all students at Dar al Hekma University, in Barnies Restaurant on Thalia Street on a Thursday night and they all sat around looking glamorous with hair completely on show and greeted my husband confidently. Maybe these girls are well travelled and have spent some time abroad, I really don't know, but what I do know is that all five of them were definately Saudi.

I am not making any judgement as to whether this type of conduct is better or worse than someone fully covering, just that here in Jeddah, from what I can understand through conversations with students, friends and colleagues (not my own experience) there are many things happening, like the above example, which simly do not happen in other areas of Saudi Arabia.

Meyanga Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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trapezius



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction

PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Tahlia*
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desultude



Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 614

PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I admit to not wearing an abaya for a lot of the last year I was there. I was covered- as much or more so than the women in the crow's clothes. I had many women, young and old, compliment me, in public, on my dresses. Some shyly gave me a thumbs up.

But I was bypassed by the women who wore niqab many times in the grocery store and other places even when I wore an abaya.

Here in Oman, most women outside of Muscat wear scarves and very brightly coloured dresses, or black abayas. Hair shows, and sometimes heads are uncovered. The diversity of dress is spectacular.

I haven't been treated rudely here at all. In fact, Omanis are generally very sweet and polite.

The slight difference in money in the Kingdom is so not worth it. If you have signed a two year contract, and you can stand it and you want to respect the contract, fine. Frankly, and with all due respect (and serious respect is due to some) I cannot understand woman who stays longer.
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Frankly, and with all due respect (and serious respect is due to some) I cannot understand woman who stays longer.


Maybe - with respect to you - you also need to understand that your experience of the Kingdom is rather limited. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you only stay for a year or two in the same job? In a college well known to be a bad employer?

Some of us like our jobs and have good friends here. Yes, there are many restrictions and frustrations, but many women find that they are outweighed by the advantages of living here. Obviously, much depends on your job - there are some vey bad employers, but there are also some quite decent ones. If you can get a job with one of the latter, life can be quite pleasant in KSA. It's certainly not for everybody, but some people who would seem to be qutie unsuited to Saudi life end up quite liking it here and staying for years.

Perhaps it would be best not to make blanket generalisations based on your limited time in the Kingdom, and bear in mind that others' experiences might just be different from yours.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Cleopatra,

"Perhaps it would be best not to make blanket generalisations based on your limited time in the Kingdom, and bear in mind that others' experiences might just be different from yours."

Just what "blanket generalizations" did desultude make? I couldn't find any.

Regards,
John
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 17644
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well... haven't gone back to review this thread, but I have to say that Desu's bad experience at her one job in Saudi does make her often paint with rather a broad brush. Laughing

Fortunately, her camel is all dressed for her happy celebration in Oman.

VS
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear veiledsentiments,

Well, I hadn't reviewed the thread, either - just desultude's post before Cleopatra's post.
Having now reviewed it, though, I still don't see any "blanket generalizations" - just accounts of her personal experience. Most of her sentences begin with "I," and tell of what happened to her.
On this thread, at any rate, I couldn't spot a generalization in her posts (with the possible exception of this: "Tolerance. What a wonderful thing!")


But maybe I'm generalizing.
Very Happy

Regards,
John
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say that an inablity to understand why any woman might want to live in KSA is something of a generalisation. I wouldn't want to live in Oman, but I know many people like it there, just as many like living in KSA.
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kazazt



Joined: 15 Feb 2010
Posts: 164

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not many, some.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Cleopatra,

I would disagree:

"Frankly, and with all due respect (and serious respect is due to some) I cannot understand (a) woman who stays longer."

I can't understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity, either, but I don't see how that's a generalization. It MY lack of understanding that's the main point.

I'm NOT saying (or even implying) that NO ONE could understand, nor am I saying (or implying) that the theory is wrong simply because I can't understand it.

I also can't understand why some women think Dr. Phil is great. My personal opinion (NOT a generalization) is that he's a jerk.

Actually, there are a plethora of things I can't understand.

Regards,
John
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I would disagree:


OK.
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 17644
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

johnslat wrote:
Actually, there are a plethora of things I can't understand.
Funny how this becomes clearer the older one gets and the more one knows. Cool

VS
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desultude



Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 614

PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am not generalizing by saying I cannot understand something. I didn't say no woman should do it, I just don't understand why they would choose to.

Personally, I value my freedoms too much to stay over the two years I obligated myself to. I also detest the level of corruption I saw and knew about there. I abhorred the limitations placed upon my female students by the society at large. And, no, I am not just referring to my experiences at PMU, thank you.

I lived in the country of Saudi Arabia, not in PMU. I experienced limitations and attitudes there in one of the supposedly more liberal provinces. I saw things that I thought were just despicable.

Some women can deal with this stuff, I guess. But, given the world of opportunities out there, I still do wonder why they would choose to. I don't believe that it is my right or duty to try to change a place, so I chose to leave.

By the way, two years is a fair amount of time. Anthropologists do their fieldwork and become experts on a country in less time. I consider myself reasonably observant and intelligent. I cannot imagine having needed to have stayed longer to come to some valid conclusions about the place.

I don't retract my statement.

Thanks, Johnslat, for understanding what I meant.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear desultude,

Thank you for not getting annoyed that I jumped in so obtrusively.

However, you really do need to watch those generalizations, such the the following:

"Tolerance. What a wonderful thing!"

Many of us who are intolerant of much in this world could take umbrage at such an all-inclusive statement.

I am, I fear, highly intolerant of intolerance. Very Happy

Regards,
John
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