Job Discussion Forums

cmp45 · Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 1475 Location: KSA

Sorry was unable to edit last post...just wanted to add ...of course it is not easy to stay in the present moment as our monkey minds trick us all the time into thinking-dwelling on the past or on the future...however if one is conciously aware then you can mentally 'stop' the thinking of the past and focus attention on present...same goes for future...of course we all need to think about the past to help learn from previous actions -bad decisons we made and try to learn from them...and the future helps chart where we want to go. But really, most of our thoughts and attention need to be focused on the present moment as that is where you find real happiness.

If you are very honest with your self you will admit that the times you are/ were happiest is / was when you are/ were living in the present moment.
So boys and girls...even if you did actually believe you were homesick and ended up going home, you would probably start thinking about the place you left and once again wishing you had stayed or begin thinking about someother place you wish you were..on and on it goes...it's a never ending cycle of wishful thinking...we all have the power to just say in our head..."stop" and refocus on the positive aspects of the present moment. The reality all around us is waiting for us to wake up! As stated before it is not an easy task to always live in the present moment...but not impossible either. Life then becomes easier, if you stay awake -concious of your thoughts.... focus on the present moment..voila no more homesickness! Try it- practice it...you will be amazed at how easy it is to rid the homesickness in your mind!

contented · Joined: 17 Oct 2011 Posts: 136 Location: اسطنبول

santi84 · Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 1317 Location: under da sea

It never bothered me as a young single gal but now that I have settled, married, and had a child in my new permanent location, I do feel homesickness and GUILT! Guilt for intentionally raising my child 5000km away from his grandmother and auntie, as well as my extended family. Guilt for them missing major milestones, etc. I don't regret what I did, but I will say that TEFL (or TESL, in my case) certainly has it's sacrifices beyond homesickness when one chooses to permanently integrate into the new location/culture.

Teacher in Rome · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Posts: 1286

True Santi84 - having kids puts a whole different perspective on things.

I'm not sure if this is going to help or not, but as a child I absolutely adored my grandparents and in time, they came to be my most important family relationship.

But when we were children, we only saw them a couple of times a year - even living in the same country. (This probably helped with the "allure" and mystique of seeing them!). It's not so much the number of times you see someone, but the quality of that time and obviously, the bond - if there is one. (Not always the case.)

Don't worry too much about the physical distance - as far as your child is concerned. A yearly visit will be something much looked forward to, I'm sure.

santi84 · Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 1317 Location: under da sea

Thanks Teacher in Rome, I appreciate it Smile

And I hope you are correct!

For some of us, there is no "going home" -> if I did that, I'd have to leave my child behind because his home/father/culture is here, not there.

Some people think of TEFL as a 6 month stint in China after graduating high school, or just a few years here & there, but for some of us, TEFL leads us to a new permanent home - homesickness does happen, but we're no different than the million of other immigrants in this world Confused

and sometimes there is no going back. It might become more than just a job.

sohniye · Joined: 15 Mar 2011 Posts: 90

I consider homesickness to be an issue of mine, and I don't have children. Who do I miss the most? My beagle. He's my life and unlike with humans he can't read emails and chat with me on the phone.

I am planning to visit home again in the summer after spending a week or two travelling in Europe (my job is in Russia).

I haven't even left yet and I miss my hound doggy! Embarassed

nomad soul · Joined: 31 Jan 2010 Posts: 11454 Location: The real world

Dilton · Joined: 12 Aug 2011 Posts: 68

Separation is very hard on an animal as well. Is there any way you could have him put to sleep?

contented · Joined: 17 Oct 2011 Posts: 136 Location: اسطنبول

@ Dilton: I think it's a horrible idea to put her beloved beagle to sleep (I was a former beagle owner, twice). I'm sure she has family or friends who will take care of her pet while she is away.

johnslat · Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:02 pm Post subject:

Dear Dilton,

Sweet sufferin' succotash - was that written tongue-in-cheek (I hope?) If not, have you ever had a pet? (And I really hope the answer to that is, "No.")

Regards,
John, the three dogs, and the one cat.

sohniye · Joined: 15 Mar 2011 Posts: 90

Boourns Dilton! Shocked

I should have said that he is my family beagle, so though I may leave Mickey will continue to live with my Mom who he loves more than anything in the world.

He's 11 years old and happens to snoring loudly by my feet as a I type here.

Skype Mickey...that would be fun Very Happy

steki47 · Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Posts: 1029 Location: BFE Inaka

The first time I lived in Japan, I stayed for five years straight and that was a mistake. Really felt trapped and isolated. Went to live with my parents for six months and missed Japan terribly.

I have been back to the US twice in the past three years and actually didn't like it much. It's nice to see friends and family, but there is very little I miss about the US.

Even when I lived in the US, I was far away from family and moved around a bit. Nothing has changed except the distances.