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muffintop
Joined: 07 Jan 2013
Posts: 803
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 Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:10 am Post subject: |
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| chryanvii wrote: |
| .I thought it would be easier to make a "new friend" here. This is the truth. Is this the only reason I should stay in China? |
It is easier. Far easier. But perhaps not if you are as introverted as you stated. That would make things difficult anywhere. Gotta be in it to win it!!!
I have had no less than 4 girls tell me they want to marry me this month....and I am married. 2 of them said this the first time I went out with them. China is a crazy place man. Get out more and enjoy it.
No...it's not a good enough reason by itself to stay here imo but...if you do find somebody it will very likely change your perspective and attitude about many things.
Whatever you do I wish you the best. |
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fat_chris
Joined: 10 Sep 2003
Posts: 3198
Location: Beijing
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| Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| muffintop wrote: |
| I have had no less than 4 girls tell me they want to marry me this month....and I am married. 2 of them said this the first time I went out with them. China is a crazy place man. Get out more and enjoy it. |
No less than 4? There could be more than 4?!?
Let a playah play!
This is pure mojo!
Warm regards,
fat_chris |
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muffintop
Joined: 07 Jan 2013
Posts: 803
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| Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:51 am Post subject: |
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One only hinted at it.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
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fluffyhamster
Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again
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| Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:52 am Post subject: |
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| muffintop wrote: |
| I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
| ippollite wrote: |
| Today is wednesday, yesterday was tuesday, tomorrow is thursday, so what day is Friday (blank faces for hours as they try and figure it out - its Friday). [My bold - FH] |
Or they could be just trying to figure out how to say "The day after tomorrow" or "That cheesy movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid". 
. |
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fat_chris
Joined: 10 Sep 2003
Posts: 3198
Location: Beijing
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| Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:58 am Post subject: |
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| muffintop wrote: |
One only hinted at it.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
Oh!
Nonethless, I like yer quote: "gotta be in it to win it." That, My Good Sir, gets the fat_chris post of the day. +1
Warm regards,
fat_chris |
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fat_chris
Joined: 10 Sep 2003
Posts: 3198
Location: Beijing
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| Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:51 am Post subject: |
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| chryanvii wrote: |
| I hate leaving China empty-handed. It will take a long time for me to recover...going home single and everything. But there's really nothing happening for me here at this moment. |
I felt sad when I read these sentences. I hope it gets better for the OP.
I think largely of my current situation when I read this. This is my fifth year in Chengdu (three years in the first stint and currently in the second year of my second stint). The first stint nicely led to some good things for me in my home country. After nine years away from the Motherland, I decided to return for round two.
I am beginning to think more and more of staying put for a longer while here in Our China. I have been spending some time drafting and cobbling together a well thought-out (hopefully!) game plan to make this whole Mr. Toad's Wild Chinese Ride worth my while.
That quoted bit above was a good reminder to me of my status quo and it made me search for some answers to some simple but pointed questions that we should ask ourselves from time to time to check in before checking back out: why am I here? what do I want to do here? what do I want to get out of this?
Whether it be putting together a pile of dat dosh, gaining a girlfriend or a wife, establishing professional connections, publishing a piece of academic work about TEFL in China, passing HSK Level 5 or 6, gaining professional experience like becoming an IELTS rater, becoming adept at a skill that I can also use elsewhere, etc., it is good to think of those concrete things that China can give us so we won't walk away empty-handed--at least we'll be leaving with something.
Will we end up walking away from the PRC empty-handed? I hope not, and I, for one, don't intend to. I am building a catalog in my mind of things to go for and be able to take with me when I do ride off into the sunset.
Sorry for the lecture here. Just my two jiao's worth that I wanted to get off my chest.
Warm regards,
fat_chris |
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twilothunder
Joined: 09 Dec 2011
Posts: 442
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| Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:46 am Post subject: |
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| muffintop wrote: |
One only hinted at it.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
Chinese women say that sort of nonsense all the time.
For the benefit of OP, they are basically telling you (very clumsily) that they don't want a boyfriend who isn't serious about a future together.
I am also very average looking. Now married but still get girls approaching me in Starbucks, flirting, trying to press their phone number on to me. Really, China still surprises me. |
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ippollite
Joined: 13 Mar 2013
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:20 am Post subject: |
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| fluffyhamster wrote: |
| muffintop wrote: |
| I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
| ippollite wrote: |
| Today is wednesday, yesterday was tuesday, tomorrow is thursday, so what day is Friday (blank faces for hours as they try and figure it out - its Friday). [My bold - FH] |
Or they could be just trying to figure out how to say "The day after tomorrow" or "That cheesy movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid".
. |
they do. theyre pretty inventive  "yeeeeeeeeeesssss... but no!" |
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chryanvii
Joined: 19 Jul 2009
Posts: 125
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| Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 10:02 am Post subject: |
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| twilothunder wrote: |
| muffintop wrote: |
One only hinted at it.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was actually...you know...good looking. |
Chinese women say that sort of nonsense all the time.
For the benefit of OP, they are basically telling you (very clumsily) that they don't want a boyfriend who isn't serious about a future together.
I am also very average looking. Now married but still get girls approaching me in Starbucks, flirting, trying to press their phone number on to me. Really, China still surprises me. |
Okay, can you tell me where you guys are living? For starters, I don't like going to Starbuck's because it's a Western place. I try my best to boycott those kind of places while in China. But even if I didn't, it seems that the majority of people in the place where I am living is mostly guys [Nanping]. They say that Chongqing has the best looking girls in all of China, but I haven't been able to identify with that yet.
I live in Chongqing. When I was in Nanchang, I would get approached all the time by little young tikes. There were many colleges all within a close distance of each other. But here in Chongqing, and also before in Nanning, I rarely got approached at all. They also don't seem to speak much English here at all, which might be another strong reason.
Have I just been choosing the wrong places in China? It seems that the past two places I have chosen, the girls are all really shy, and when they do look, they do it slyly. But when I was in Nanchang, they stared blatantly and were not afraid to give a smile and approach me.
Please provide some suggestions for places to move to in China where I might have more luck! I am thinking about making a move to a smaller city if I stay here...maybe I can have more luck there. Taiyuan...Dazu...Wulong...any suggestions? |
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choudoufu
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 3325
Location: Mao-berry, PRC
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| Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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in order to prevent this thread being closed (i've heard it's not
a dating site, why not get back on topic?
wanna be more humorous in class? wear a cape, and your underpants
on the outside! make whooshing sounds as you enter and leave.
(....come to think of it, that might attract the chicks, too!) |
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Non Sequitur
Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 4724
Location: China
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| Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:17 am Post subject: |
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Bit late for this comment but I'd rather see you become more engaging than funny.
Take charge when you enter. Give out a greeting and expect a loud response.
Make 8am winter classes 'Teachers Breakfast Clubs'. Take something to eat and encourage students to bring their buns and yogurt. They sneak eat under the desk anyway.
Have the break mark the end of eating. That way if you get a negative from Admin you can always point out that the activity is not play-way. A deliberate strategy of allowing eating gets the students ready to learn in the 2nd 45. |
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Bud Powell
Joined: 11 Jul 2013
Posts: 1736
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| Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:09 am Post subject: |
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| Non Sequitur wrote: |
Bit late for this comment but I'd rather see you become more engaging than funny.
Take charge when you enter. Give out a greeting and expect a loud response.
Make 8am winter classes 'Teachers Breakfast Clubs'. Take something to eat and encourage students to bring their buns and yogurt. They sneak eat under the desk anyway.
Have the break mark the end of eating. That way if you get a negative from Admin you can always point out that the activity is not play-way. A deliberate strategy of allowing eating gets the students ready to learn in the 2nd 45. |
I agree with this. Most schools I've worked with forbade eating in class, but I loosened the rules so that they didn't have to sneak it. Once, in a computer class room, the Computer pooh-bah came in and gave everyone heck for eating in class, so i pretended to be really angry at the class (they knew that I was kidding) and we stood in the hall until everyone was finished.
I think there are many other ways in which to be engaging . Humor is just one method. (I think that perhaps whoever said the OP had to be humorous picked just one method).
Being less authoritarian and being flexible is another tool. I told students that if they were sick NOT to come to class. All they had to do was to write me a letter stating the problem, and tell me when they'd return. They were still responsible for making up school work. If there was something else that they had to do that day or class period, the letter brought to class by a friend was necessary, and work was expected to be made up.
This worked for university-level students. I Don't know about secondary school students. Someone mentioned approachability. That is a MUST HAVE for all teachers. This can be accomplished with little things like showing a sense of humor when thirteen year-olds start to clown around. Acknowledge the stunt, smile, then make it clear that it's time to move on.
Showing compassion for a kid who has some sort of emotional problem or maybe an undiagnosed neurological problem such as Tourrette's Syndrome. I had a kid in the U.S. who had outbursts in class that defied explanation until i did some research. I sat down and talked to him , then his parents and suggested an evaluation. It turned out that the parents had the kid evaluated and indeed, the kid had Tourette's Syndrome, but the parents didn't say anything for fear of stigmatizing him. Solution: I gave the kid time-out until his urges passed.
I agree with NS and others who said that humor isn't the only solution. Just showing the class that you care about each one of them makes a difference. It's difficult.
I know what some people are thinking: Yeah, but there's always ONE kid who can't be controlled or won't fall in line. To make life easier for myself, I make those kids my special project and make myself find something that I liked about the kid, and I encouraged that part of him. In most cases, it worked. |
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Bud Powell
Joined: 11 Jul 2013
Posts: 1736
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| Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:12 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Bud Powell"]
| Non Sequitur wrote: |
Bit late for this comment but I'd rather see you become more engaging than funny.
Take charge when you enter. Give out a greeting and expect a loud response.
Make 8am winter classes 'Teachers Breakfast Clubs'. Take something to eat and encourage students to bring their buns and yogurt. They sneak eat under the desk anyway.
Have the break mark the end of eating. That way if you get a negative from Admin you can always point out that the activity is not play-way. A deliberate strategy of allowing eating gets the students ready to learn in the 2nd 45. |
I agree with this. Most schools I've worked with forbade eating in class, but I loosened the rules so that they didn't have to sneak it. Once, in a computer class room, the Computer pooh-bah came in and gave everyone heck for eating in class, so i pretended to be really angry at the class (they knew that I was kidding) and we stood in the hall until everyone was finished.
I think there are many other ways in which to be engaging . Humor is just one method. (I think that perhaps whoever said the OP had to be humorous picked just one method).
Being less authoritarian and being flexible is another tool. I told students that if they were sick NOT to come to class. All they had to do was to write me a letter stating the problem, and tell me when they'd return. They were still responsible for making up school work. If there was something else that they had to do that day or class period, the letter brought to class by a friend was necessary, and work was expected to be made up.
This worked for Chinese university-level students. I don't know about Chinese secondary school students. Someone mentioned approachability. That is a MUST HAVE for all teachers. This can be accomplished with little things like showing a sense of humor when thirteen year-olds start to clown around. Acknowledge the stunt, smile, then make it clear that it's time to move on.
Showing compassion for a kid who has some sort of emotional problem or maybe an undiagnosed neurological problem such as Tourrette's Syndrome. I had a kid in the U.S. who had outbursts in class that defied explanation until i did some research. I sat down and talked to him , then his parents and suggested an evaluation. It turned out that the parents had the kid evaluated and indeed, the kid had Tourette's Syndrome, but the parents didn't say anything for fear of stigmatizing him. Solution: I gave the kid time-out until his urges passed.
I agree with NS and others who said that humor isn't the only solution. Just showing the class that you care about each one of them makes a difference. It's difficult.
I know what some people are thinking: Yeah, but there's always ONE kid who can't be controlled or won't fall in line. To make life easier for myself, I make those kids my special project and make myself find something that I liked about the kid, and I encouraged that part of him. In most cases, it worked. |
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katia04
Joined: 09 Dec 2011
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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For me, it's a question of having rapport with students, being animated, and also them knowing you are available.
For instance, I repeatedly tell my students that my ultimate goal is to be the WORLD'S MEANEST TEACHER! So whenever they tell me they like me I'll say something like, "Oh, that's not good." They know I'm joking and laugh, but again, you have to have that rapport with them. Disaster struck at one point when I talked about English corner, which I've started as additional conversation practice twice a week, with a student who wasn't quite as familiar with me - I told him it cost 500RMB per hour, and he believed me. I had to have one of his friends let him know afterward that I was completely kidding.
I also make a special effort to be as available as possible. Each student has my email address and I tell them that if they need help in English, I will never, ever refuse to help them. Several of them email me practice essays, which I look through and give back with my comments; if a student requests to have lunch with me, I figure out a time to do it. Students trust you more if they know you will make time for them, I think.
As far as humor in the class goes, try not to necessarily be slapstick, but accentuate your emotions (this also helps clarify things for students who can't understand everything you say). For instance, if you are CCQing them about instructions, and say, "Now, what's the first thing you're going to do?" and they give you the wrong answer, drop your jaw, look aghast, and say, "WHAATT??" That usually gets a few laughs and then a student who understands can explain it more simply to the rest of the class (of course, CCQ again to make sure they get it).
(I teach Uni by the way, but I've worked at language schools before) |
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Non Sequitur
Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 4724
Location: China
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| Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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For freshers in Semester 1, I find that showing that your class is going to be different, pays dividends.
In my opening 'getting to know you' remarks, I emphasise that this class is about 'success' not 'failure'.
'I want to know what you can do, not what you can't do'.
Many students have arrived in tertiary without really getting a grip on English.
'You now have the opportunity to make a new start' is the message I try to get across. |
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