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Hilarious Things Students Say and Write
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Joeldew



Joined: 02 Jan 2005
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The concept of �assertiveness� was introduced into our Business English class (banking professionals) and how it could be fashioned into their writing and speech. One VERY confident student shared the following with her classmates:

�Effective today, I want intercourse with the boss�.

I had to excuse myself and leave the room.

Admittedly, from a corporate-climbing perspective, I couldn�t find any fault with that intention. It was certainly one way of gaining a promotion. Smile

She was later informed of the meaning of that word. Needless to say, she was completely embarrassed and very apologetic.

Let's hope that she's a CEO somewhere and attained the position because of other virtues.

*********************************

Taikibansei,

When you stated �She won, by the way�, I�m assuming that the student came first in the competition and certainly NOT in the context that you gave in to her request � �Let's have intercourse together, yes?"


Best regards
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swetepete



Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 16
Location: victoria, canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A kid today said "I have black hair and a brown eye."
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guangho



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 476
Location: in transit

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

White_Elephant wrote:
I had two young adult males from two different countries ask me at the same time, "what does kinky mean?" I couldn't help but laugh because I couldn't figure out how to explain this word with a straight face. As I'm laughing, they begin to guess the meaning (in very broken English), but they were way off mark. At that point, I cracked Laughing up and spit out, "use a dictionary... I can't."


Perhaps my student, who gave a presentation on sadomasochism (Don't ask why) could answer. She summed matters up with the opening sentence "As you know, we are all mentally ill."
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John Hall



Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 452
Location: San Jose, Costa Rica

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Japan, difficulty with "r" and "l" can cause such gems as "Clinton's upcoming erection," but then there are equally hilarious things that happen with "s" and "sh." I used to have a picture of a sign in Japan that was supposed to say, "Do not sit down." I also remember more than once seeing classified ads in English-language magazines and newspapers in Japan that were supposed to announce that someone was looking for an English-speaking babysitter for their child.
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Sweetsee



Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a student who always has fresh answers. He entered the classroom last week late and we were in the middle of learning to tell the time. Before he sat down, I asked him if he knew the time and he looked at the clock and repied, "I don't know." Later, I asked him again and he looked at me and said, "Check it yourself!"
Enjoy,
s
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maya.the.bee



Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Stgo

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A student today asked me how to use "ray" as a verb.

I had no idea, so I said "maybe it's English" Embarassed

"...um, I mean British" I blame my cold. But can anyone use "ray" as a verb?
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From dictionary.com
Quote:
verb (used without object)
13. to emit rays.
14. to issue in rays.
�verb (used with object)
15. to send forth in rays.
16. to throw rays upon; irradiate.
17. to subject to the action of rays, as in radiotherapy.
18. Informal. to make a radiograph of; x-ray.
19. to furnish with rays or radiating lines.
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Guy Courchesne



Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 9650
Location: Mexico City

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote





Normal, everyday verbs eh...
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johnnyenglishteacher



Joined: 11 Aug 2006
Posts: 41

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once corrected a student's CV for her - apparently she used to work for a Brazilian charity that educated women on AIDS, prostitution and sexual exploration. It now reads sexual exploitation.
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cangringo



Joined: 18 Jan 2007
Posts: 327
Location: Vancouver, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a few already...all from Spanish speakers - oh and btw just asked the roommate to say focus (he knows the other word) and it was hilarious...thanks for that. Don't worry he found it funny too... Laughing

compact di*ks instead of disks
long johnson - when explaining long johns...when I told her what that meant she had a good giggle

and that same student was trying to get at hen and asked me how to say "the wife of the chicken" - it was funny at the time and she laughed with me

On the other side we made a sign for our home tutoring classes and we had Ingles without the accent which means groin or similar in Spanish so we had a good laught over that as well. Shocked
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Venti



Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 171
Location: Kanto, Japan

PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Japanese student in one of my classes said this about his wife's sleep disorder:

"When she's sleeping, my wife often gives me the violence."
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Malsol



Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 1976
Location: Lanzhou

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You think "species" is inappropriate? Why?

Chinese eat raccoon, porcupine, civit, mongoose, snakes of all kinds, dog, cat, rat, bat, tortoise, etc.

http://lists.envirolink.org/pipermail/ar-news/Week-of-Mon-20031229/014782.html
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georginachina



Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 193

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
verb (used without object)
13. to emit rays.
14. to issue in rays.
�verb (used with object)
15. to send forth in rays.
16. to throw rays upon; irradiate.
17. to subject to the action of rays, as in radiotherapy.
18. Informal. to make a radiograph of; x-ray.
19. to furnish with rays or radiating lines.

I can tolerate 15, 16, and 17. but that's about all. The others are akin to the USAnian habit of bestowing verb status on nouns....eg She "medalled" in her favourite event. Pure and simply, this is lazy English.
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thelmadatter



Joined: 31 Mar 2003
Posts: 1212
Location: in el Distrito Federal x fin!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:40 pm    Post subject: ji ji ji Reply with quote

Quote:
I can tolerate 15, 16, and 17. but that's about all. The others are akin to the USAnian habit of bestowing verb status on nouns....eg She "medalled" in her favourite event. Pure and simply, this is lazy English.


ppppppptttttt! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing


From one lazy American
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gaijinalways



Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know if I would use the word 'lazy', but as an American I personally think it's a bit much when almost every word can be used as a verb. Then again, if you don't want English to be a dead language, some change is good once in a while, yeah? Cool
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