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unsung
Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Posts: 34
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 Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:03 am Post subject: Re: I don' "click" in Japan |
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| Stosskraft wrote: |
I have recently feeling I just don't "click" in Japan. Let me explain.
I am feeling more and more frustrated living here, and I think I have finally pinned down what is bothering me. I seem to be having alot of trouble making friends here. Every time I meet someone (male or female) and they say "call me" or "contact me", I will call and many times I will never hear a reply.
I have lived in other countries and I have never had this problem. Normally I make friends quite easily, but I just don't seem able to make any really friends here and Ive been here almost a year. Back home, I never had trouble meeting women and even abroad I seemed to always meet women whom, I could date but here its been almost non-exesitane, yet I read about the guys here bragging about the "constant" pool of women. Even the other foreigner teachers at my school have mentioned difficulty making friends and dating partners.
On top of this, I am getting really upset with small things happening at my school, last minute schedule changes, other foreigners never showing up on time, and when they do show up being hung over. I understand that now these things are bothering me, because I am getting a little depressed (?), but now its starting to affect my work performance. I have tried to get out of this rut, training in Karate and even running when time permits. I have even tried meeting women online, with almost no success. I am starting to wonder now if I just don't "click" (understand) with Japan.
Right now I am contemplating 2 things. My contract is finished in February and I was planning on going back home for the holidays and then going to Vietnam to find a new job. A part of me even wants to return to Japan and try working in another city, but this just seems like asking for more "punishment" so to speak.
Now I am considering pulling a runner and just going to Tokyo for a few days to relax and then teach part-time until December( I have several contact that have offered me part-time work, and then return to Canada. I am fully aware of the implications of this idea, and normally I would not even think about it, but the current situation at my school has lead to start thinking about this. Option 2, is just stay and try to last until the new year, but I am concerned as I have never really felt this out-of-place living abroad.
I am just hoping to get some feed back if anyone out there has gone through the same thing? What did you do? What could you suggest?
I am also afraid that if I just leave Japan now or in the next few months. I am going to think I failed here. I know it sounds silly, but the other places I have been I have made great friends and a great time and left more or less on good terms. I would love to say the same about leaving Japan, but right now it would be the complete opposite.
Thanks for any input and sorry for boring anyone to tears.
sad in Japan.
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HI Stosskraft!
I've been following your posts for a long time, mostly because finding a culture that you "click" in is something I've thought a lot about too.
At any rate, good luck on your new adventure. I think it's a great idea to get away from it all. Sometimes you need your own space to figure things out.
For me, finding a girl is what makes a culture click. Yes, sounds shallow, but that's me. I don't dig guys too much. All they do is grunt and walk around and punch walls. Come back to Japan and meet a girl, that's my two cents. |
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pnksweater
Joined: 24 Mar 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Tokyo, Japan
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| Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 4:36 am Post subject: Re: I don' "click" in Japan |
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| unsung wrote: |
For me, finding a girl is what makes a culture click. Yes, sounds shallow, but that's me. I don't dig guys too much. All they do is grunt and walk around and punch walls. Come back to Japan and meet a girl, that's my two cents. |
Where does that leave foreign women or married people? Is the only way to make a connection with Japanese people in a love hotel?
There's got to be a better answer. |
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SEndrigo
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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haha, some people apparently think like that, pnksweater!
btw, if anyone thinks just getting a girlfriend can solve life's problems, they are an absolute fool!
or an Eikaiwa teacher.
hahaha sorry I had to add that one  |
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FuzzX
Joined: 14 Oct 2004
Posts: 122
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm dude, I sent you and a bunch of other people here emails. I'm brand new myself and open to making new friends. My last country was Brazil and I've become very 'affected' by their culture. To the point where I walk around saying TUDO BOM SENHORA? to every woman I meet!
Anyway I rarely have trouble getting along with people but I've been part of a worldwide club that encourages social interaction (read THE GAME by Neil Strauss) between guys and girls, all girls need guys and all guys need wings foreign & domestic.
I've just recently arrived in the same place that Stross left from but being
the social uber goober its kind of a personal mission to become the most popular person in the city. I have alot of interests: I breakdance, play D&D, do ALOT of sarging, love to party, explore and meet new people. I'm not pretentious unless I'm picking up women so I don't care if you scrape the crap out of toliets or teach NOVA classes(heh), I'll hang with you. I'm always available to fight the war on depression no matter how much alcohol is available! BTW I'm always available for a wing (except when I'm in class or broke). 
Hope to hear from you soon
msn: [email protected] |
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khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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