Job Discussion Forums

[Ka]

I found some great tofu at my local Gigante in del Valle. Okay, well, maybe "great" is an overstatement but it's totally edible.

I miss: face powder for us freakishly pale people and the Canadian version of whatever it is in my spaghetti sauce that is making it sweet...

[thelmadatter]

Cant say this for all of Mexico... but I cant seem to find a social circle of peeps to hang out with... foreigner or Mexican. Everyone here seems wrapped up in their families and when I asked people where what to do to meet people my age (40ish) they all tell me to get married so I can socialize with my husband's family *sigh* Even when I wrote about his on this board earlier, I pretty much got the same advice.

Related to people not showing up for stuff... thats happened to me a lot. I try to set up something simple like a poker game or even a get-together for foreigners (see the infamous 4th of July thingie) and people either dont show up or wuss out on me.

As much as I love my job, if I can do something about this, Im going to have to leave here next summer.

[corporatehuman]

The social circle is always difficult to establish, especially from scratch. In the town I am in there is only one other foreigner that lives here, and combine that with the fact that I started taking Spanish classes for the first time two months ago (suffice to say, I'm a beginner) I've had moments / times of extreme isolation.

But I believe most of that has been self-induced.

1. One great way to meet people, spend time, and feel like you are socializing is to have inter-cambios. I have two right now, and without them I might have gone insane, but along with helping my Spanish a great deal, and helping their English, I find that I actually get to know the people and become friends. Anyway, intercambios can LEAD to friendships. (and what I mean by intercambio is where you converse in english for an hour, then spanish, so on)

2. Going to a place again and again. At some restaurants I've become friends with owners, and now I can go there and socialize whenever I like. Also recently I had to get my computer repaired, and now I just go by and stop and talk to the guy who repaired it. So I maintain the friendships.

3. Going to public places and sitting. I find if I stay inside my house too long I get depressed, so sometimes I walk to a park and sit. Sometimes no one talks to me, sometimes people talk to me and I dont know what they are saying, or sometimes I meet new people.

4. Big one, any clubs or anything like that, hobby places you can join. Those are great. A football league for example, a book club, I don't know what's in your town. Here we have a rec. center, dance school.

I'm not saying you have not tried all of the above, I have no idea, I just put this out there cause I'd find it useful. Especially the intercambio thing, which I would never had known about if not for my school. Regardless, best of luck.


- chris

[M@tt]

for all those new arrivals...

chris had some good suggestions. i think they are mostly useful ideas. but, there is a big difference between social contacts and friendships. social contacts are easy in mexico, much easier than in the united states in my opinion. probably because as a foreigner you are easily remembered and people are interested in continued, yet superficial, interaction. it probably adds some spice to an otherwise boring day.

i have met almost nobody who maintains a social group of real friends who get together on a regular basis. i think this type of thing is extremely common in the US, but i haven't found it yet in mexico. in DF, the city is just too f'ing big for it to be practical unless you limit yourself to people living near your colonia. then there's the work/money issue, and finally the ever-present family issue (which i think is the most important).
finally, you are still a foreigner in a rather homogeneous country, so it's probably a mental wall to scale for anyone to think about you as a normal person.

decide what you want in mexico. if you just want a good time and spanish proficiency, those are easy to come by. anyone will do, you can find them at the store, in the parks, at the bars, etc. but if you want something deeper, you will really have to look hard! that has been my experience, at least. and, when i mention this to mexicans i know, the vast majority of them agree that friendships in mexico are nearly impossible. real friendships, i mean. if you just want people to go chat, dance, drink, and do the naked pretzel with, you will have no problems.
spanish helps but it doesn't really change the nature of the cultural differences.

p.s. the park thing is dubious at certain hours, not only because parks get a little more dangerous at night, but because almost anyone who sees you alone on a park bench after dusk will assume you're a prostitute and will be looking for a quickie.

[samizinha]

I think M@tt hit the nail on the head- you can have a great social life here but friendships are work. However, I want to give hope to newbies who are now picturing their time here without friendships- they are possible!
I have Mexican friends that I have kept in touch with for years, even when I went back to Canada. I also have good friends who ask to get together often, even though I live in Atizapunk. Some regularily include me in their family activities on weekends rather than just turning me down.
However, finding real friends was hard and it took a while. I had to do the calling in the beginning. I learned that I had to become much more outgoing. I don't know if it's just me, but I find people get confused or upset if I'm not constantly smiling and talking when I go out. Finally, I found that my social life and friendships only really developed when I learned how to speak Spanish.
The reason I want to stay in Mexico for a long time is because of the wonderful people I've met... so don't get discouraged

[samizinha]

The not showing up thing, and the yes means no/no means maybe situations drive me up a wall though!

[Ben Round de Bloc]

[Guy Courchesne]

[Phil_K]

Just dug up this (very) old thread, because I found KIPPERS in Mega (Pilares), something I didn't expect to eat for a very long time! Admittedly not the true British whole fish, more like bit-size, but welcome all the same.