Job Discussion Forums

[demitrescou]

[gaijinalways]

insubordination posted

[Flicka]

Good topic, and one that's been in my mind recently...

My grandfather passed away a couple of days ago, and right now I feel very far away from the family (mostly in UK while I'm in Indonesia)

Before I took up TEFL, my mum was still alive but fighting cancer for many years. In that time, I would never dreamed of coming to the other side of the world to teach English. Yet, I didn't live near her either--we kids were shipped to UK to build our futures because in Botswana, to get a job you must be qualified to do something the locals aren't. My parents stayed in Botswana (And have been there since I was 2), my dad is still in Botswana. My sister is in England. My dad's family are Dominican and in Dominica, my mum's side of the family are English and in England. My sister wants to leave England as soon as she can (Still working on getting qualified enough). My dad wants to be near us kids because since my mum has died, we are all he has, outside of his work and friends. But it's difficult because my sister is working on moving away, I'm already away but working towards getting qualified enough to choose a nearer location, so my dad can't yet know where to retire to! But he doesn't want to retire yet. He is turning 64 this year.

Meanwhile, with my grandad (who had to watch my mum die from cancer before old age finally claimed him), my aunt had to bear the whole burden of care, because my mum (the only other sibling) had already died. Prior to that, they had tried to share it, even though mum was ill and based far away, when she was in England, she would try to stay with my Grandad (who was still at home at that point) and look after him even though ideally she needed the looking after too! Then there was time when I was staying with both them, trying to help as much as I could.

So I don't know what the simplistic solution is for my personal situation, but I'm working on getting to a point where I can have some choice where to be and therefore can choose to be near my dad and sister, wherever they may be at that point. God knows what happens if/when I get a spouse and children to enter the equation! It's such a convoluted equation already!!

We'll just have to see what happens. Meanwhile, today, I have to ask if I can get permission to go to the UK for the funeral (my grandad's). EF aren't known for their compassion so methinks it will be an interesting day. Timing is also a bit strange... my contract is up in several weeks. My last day of teaching is the 10th June and I have arranged a week of holiday in Indonesia thereafter before returning to England to work in a summer school (with a nearly family connection) for a few months. Probably EF will dock my salary IF they let me go to this funeral, but whatever, family is rather more important than a fraction of an already shitty first contract EF salary!!

Watch this space...

[demitrescou]

Sorry for your loss Flicka. Your circumstances sound really tough. Stay strong. I hope it all works out for you.

[Hod]

[fluffyhamster]

They may not be gods, Hod, but they sure can be petty tyrants, absolute dictators even, totally opposed to any form of negotiation whatsoever.

[Teacher in Rome]

Flicka - sorry to hear about your granddad.

Don't let EF bully you - if you need to go back to the UK, you go back! Don't worry about what they threaten to do to you! If I remember rightly, you've only just started there, so even if the worst comes to the worst, you're not going to have a huge gap on your CV if you part company from them. I can't imagine that they would be that mean-minded anyway. (And if they were, this is not an employer you'd want...)

[Flicka]

Thanks, guys. Guess I should give the update then!

Actually I'm nearly finished here!

Anyway, I spoke to my boss yesterday. In no particular order, she

- stroppily complained about the short notice (as though Grandad or I planned this...)
- stroppily complained about the loss to the centre (far more important than the loss to my family, evidently)
- said I should give up the remainder of my meagre holiday entitlement, which I have booked at the end of my contract (which I've already booked tickets and boat trip and whatnot for, since I *was* planning for that in a few weeks time whereas I wasn't planning for a death in the family. It should be noted I haven't taken ANY holiday since Christmas, except for one day for an interview) I told her I wasn't asking for a holiday, I was asking for bereavement leave.
- she said it will likely be necessary to dock my salary (to which I said I don't care, as long as I can go). That will be the big boss's decision, if they feel my being away for a week is too great a loss for them. (I feel no pain for them, they have a huge mansion, several schools and go to �1000 ticket concerts, so I feel confident the pittance that a week of my pathetic salary represents won't make a difference to them, even if they decide to grab it)

So I am going. But I could have done without all the above in addition to dealing with the actual bereavement, you know? I wound up in tears in the middle of the staffroom, in the midst of the above. (We are at a secodary site at the moment, as our primary site got half burnt down recently, and at the secondary site she has no office, so we couldnt even discuss the matter in private)

All in all, I don't know how normal the above is for language school behaviour but I've already written to the director of studies at my next job in Jakarta and told him about it and asked how it would work there. Meanwhile, not too long now before I can leave this place behind. Last teaching day is 10th June...

[Teacher in Rome]

Well, your boss sounds less than compassionate, but at least you're going to the funeral. And at least you won't be working at EF for much longer.

I know it probably feels a bit raw now, but when you move up into better roles, you can at least laugh about how awful your first boss was. (And kudos to you for already moving up.)

[Flicka]

Yup!

On the plus side, been in touch with my DofS to be in my job in JKT and they offer one week paid leave, one week unpaid leave and are flexible on it. For this situation, I mean. So it's nice to think I'm moving somewhere where Il be treated as a human rather than a white-skinned marketing commodity!

Oh I forgot to mention the part where she insinuated that if I go to the funeral it will mean I'm not successfully completing my contract. So watch this space, I may yet see myself losing all the bonuses and air ticket refund I'm due as well as the weeks salary!! Twats.

[Tudor]

Flicka, my condolences on your recent loss.

A note of caution however...please don't think that TBI is the land of milk and honey. Apart from the generous salary it's pretty much a glorified EF. In fact, I know several teachers who've worked for both organisations and speak more highly of their time at EF than at TBI. Additionally, if you do have problems at TBI, I'd advise you not to broadcast them on here as certain people at TBI visit this forum and will more than likely know who you are. Dissent is not liked!

Please take this post in the spirit it's meant; I'm not saying TBI's a terrible place to work but make sure you go in with your eyes wide open. I hope you don't have any more problems during the remainder of your time at EF - all the best.

[artemisia]

[HLJHLJ]

It will save time if we just carry on where we left off last time.

[revenger2013]

[demitrescou]