Job Discussion Forums

[Lister100]

I never thought much about the dating scene prior to leaving for Japan because I thought a year long contract wouldn't be worth the effort. Now I'm rethinking this and am curious as to how the dating scene differs? If Japan is more gender bound than North America does this mean that men have to be more outgoing than usual? What signs will the Japanese girls put out if their digging your threads and what will they do if their not?

Ideally, I would still go for my own western ladies if for no other reason than being able to communicate better. Communicating between sexes is hard enough without the added cultural and language barriers. But what the hell, try anything once.

[Synne]

The Sticky Thread at the top of this forum has a very accurate break down as to what a relationship with a J woman will be like.

What age are you?

[Lister100]

I fall in the age group that will be hardest, judging from what the sticky said.

Add this to the fact that I'm in Kyushu where girls live with their parents and I'm done for. I can't really say I'm willing to compromise either. May not have dated supermodels before but I sure as hell wasn't in the overweight and homely market. I'm not planning on starting that now! "teeth going everywhere and bad breath", I don't know how many people have seen the movie Roger Rabbit, but that reminds of when Roger turns around the hot bodied toon woman. "A MAN", oh my god.

I know there are a lot of good looking women here and it makes sense that given Japan is 98% Japanese they'll be looking for Japanese. Oh well, take it in stride.

[jugle]

it really takes only a few beers to say it, but:

you folks are so sad.

really. move, already. leave.

[Synne]

[Lister100]

Jugle: it really takes only a few beers to say it, but:
you folks are so sad.
really. move, already. leave.

Synne: ...and other then that seeing as there is a 98% market out there of Japanese ppl over foreigners go figure that your odds of meeting a J woman are going to be greater then that of meeting a foreign one eh?
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I guess I walked into this one. The comments I made about the dating market were from some of the things I found on the Japanese Dating Sticky. It had a very discouraging vibe to it. I can see now that some of the things I said sarcastically didn't come through as that. For the record I have no interest in the unmarried market, I'm 25 for god sake! The sticky said younger men will have more adversity. Truth be told I have seen a higher preportion of good looking women here than at home regardless of what the sticky said. Just curious about what the scene is like here.

Synne is absolutely right in that I came here for the money and travel, to see a new place and pay debts, not for any perverted fetishes(and I'm not saying that if you found love with a Japanese girl your a pervert). There is no way that I would move thousands of miles just to date Asian girls.

I don't know what Jugle's deal is to get so easily insulted but for what its worth sorry if I offended. Something that you guys should appreciate is that I don't believe in using women as objects regardless of their race. If I can't talk to a girl what else would I be using her for? True 98% of Japan is Japanese, but how many of them speak English and how many of the foreigners speak English? In one year its pretty unlikely that I'm going to learn Japanese sufficiently enough to have interesting conversations.

If you remember I posted because I was considering my options. The possibilty of meeting a Japanese girl that speaks English well enough to have a good time with is worth looking into. People shouldn't be so damn sensitive, I have my preferences you can have yours. Its not my fault if your Japanese girlfriend won't introduce you to her parents.

[Lister100]

Sticky

"As for their looks, there are a lot of very attractive women here with one or more of the following:

1. Very bad teeth (either stained from drinking loads of tea or teeth that are simply growing in random directions)
2. Very bad breath (Japan is the land of halitosis and poor dental hygiene)
3. Smoker's breath (are smokers in the majority in this country?)
4. The body of a 12-year old (interpret this as you wish) "

"There is also the need to realize that most of the gorgeous, nice bodied 20 - 25 year girls here that most men are after are not interested in a relationship surrounded by a cloud of confusion at the fact that understanding each other is a labor every time someone opens their mouth, after all, no matter how great your Japanese is, theirs will be better. Nor are they interested in gaijin when they have droves of Japanese guys out to get them. "

"The High School girls here will tempt all guys, but they are not overly interested in a 22 + year old gaijin. They are out for the 18 + year old Japanese guy with a car and a boat load of friends to introduce their friends to on their ride to the nearest Disney Store."

"SoTo link this to the thread about women in Japan - Japanese women play a large part in perpetuating attitudes and behaviour that is out of date in western countries. Free spirits looking for sex friends they are not. Maybe there are some in Honshu but in Kyushu it seems very repressed - living at home scared that mother disapproves of adult behaviour when one is not married.
Sorry, but I and my husband found the Japanese women in Kyushu generally to be doing their best to avoid these kind of relationships. I am not saying all - I am just saying be careful if you are a man and think that somehow the Japanese women are unencumbered by guilt. They don`t have religious guilt but they seem fearful of what their undersexed mothers and neighbours think .... I say `seem`."

[Synne]

Most women you talk to here will immediately jump to the conclusion that either...

A- You want to date them

B- You want to have sex with them

Or C- You are just after a J for a night of fun

Ill attest that every foreigner here has, at one time, had A J women look at them with one of these options in mind.

[homersimpson]

I think you'll find that many young Japanese girls (and guys) live a rather vapid existence. Expecting a serious relationship is dubious at best.