Job Discussion Forums

[happigur1]

[jm21]

[Sinobear]

"moonshine"? You mean "moonlight."

[nickpellatt]

Dude, congrats on passing the bar and setting up your own successfull practice. You are obviously a smart guy with a bit of drive and common sense. HOWEVER, it would appear your common sense has deserted you in the face of the fairer sex ... I would seriously advise against giving up what you have to move to China for a girl you met on the internet!

Sure, chat online ... and enjoy the visit to China if you can afford to do it ... but isnt surely a touch extreme to throw all your eggs in one basket and move to China. Yeah, its easy to like Chinese girls and get jiggy, and its easy to like China on a short visit. The likelihood IMO...is that ditching things in the States to head off and live in China with a girl you hardly know is madness surely.

You have even mentioned marriage and kids in your post which is also a bit extreme. Dont do it ...

[jm21]

[nickpellatt]

I could be wrong ... so ignore me if I am Having read through most of the thread it seems your idea died a year or so ago, but it has raised its head again lately and I assumed this may have coincided with the Chinese girl.

I agree, it is normal to think about settling down and having kids, but the thought of moving to another continent / culture / career on the back of an internet friendship would be lunacy IMO. Its hard enough keeping relationships going when they have all the advantages of shared culture and language etc ... with the obstacles you may face, I would just advise against making a life changing decision on the back of your relationship.

The more experienced China hands are better placed to share their experiences really ... I know a few people on the board have been burned badly in relationships here ... and I assume they were generally relationships that had been conducted in person initially. Like I say, perhaps someone else can comment.

It does read like you are planning (even just a little?) to settle down and raise a family in China. You are doing the math etc ... but I dont think its that simple. There arent many earning 18k either I dont reckon. I would guess the vast majority make do, and long term China could be difficult in so many ways...healthcare and education is often a concern for one thing.

Id just say be cautious bro! There are 101 obstacles in your way, most of which wont raise their head until you are here...and then it could be too late.

[jm21]

Well, she is certainly one of the factors. I don't think international relationships are that uncommon, and meeting someone over the internet is becoming much more common. I've actually talked a bit with a guy who met his Chinese wife over the internet and is thinking about moving to China.

I don't think I would plan on teaching forever. But it gives a base to start from. I've learned a lot about internet marketing over the last year or so and I think I could put it to use either exporting something from China or doing some legal work over the internet. I could under-cut the competition back home easily. It would also mean if I decide to move back to the US I already would have something going on. But internet advertising takes a lot of time to do properly so it would take a while. Anyways, it seems to me that the general population of this board would rather work less and earn less money, which may be the reason there aren't a whole lot of big earners.

I've read some of the horror stories here but I've also seen many posts which suggest to me that many of the guys here appear to either be just looking for sex or going about things in ...interesting... ways. I remember one thread where the guy was ticked because his gf of 2 weeks wouldn't give him a handjob...I mean c'mon...I don't think I would ever come here for relationship advice. No offense intended.

I'm well aware that things will be difficult, but hey, that's life. I've never exactly had a simple life. I'd actually be more worried about the air quality and weather than anything else. Kids of school age would be way down the road.

[nickpellatt]

Yeah, who would wait two weeks, Id be complaining after one! LOL. Im the worst guy to take relationship advice from ... being 40 and single

It would be a big step though ... visiting and spending weeks together is very different to staying in China and making a go of it. The whole 'culture shock' thing is never an instant thing...it builds up over time and hits you ... and thats when the honeymoon period can be over for China (and maybe teaching/relationships etc). It would be cool if some other ppl dropped into this and added their experience.

I was in China when I met my GF, we were friends first and built up to a relationship in the more traditional way. We did have ideas and talk about the future, and after about a year I decided I had to return home for a while, but planned to bring her over for a visit, before returning to resume things about a year later. Looking into the visa process made me realise things werent as simple as I had thought, and we both decided to let the idea of a visit to the UK slide...and I came home alone intending to return later.

When I was back home ... the reality of our relationship slowly began to dawn on me, and away from China, and looking back at it from a UK perspective, I realised how impossible the situation, and the future most likely would be. I realised I could never commit to staying in China, and it would be difficult for her to come here, and settle and live comfortably in my culture. It might have been possible ... but unlikely. Sooo many hurdles and hoops to jump through, and thats before you get to the cultural difficulties.

I never have problems finding women, but I have struggled to build lasting, trusting, adult long term relationships ... so seeking a solution with someone that doesnt share my language, culture, faith, beliefs, politics, and work ethic is even more likely to fail than my relationships here

I do wish you well with what you do ... but I would urge caution. Research everything and get as many opinions as you can. Chinese girls are often a lot less innocent than they seem and a sensible and slow approach would be wise IMO...

Anyway .... once again I have far to much time on my hands and so am waffling nonsense about relationships ... look before you leap though ... and I think on that note, I need to drop out of this thread.

[jm21]

I've done quite a bit of research and hit up everyone dating/married to a Chinese girl I could find for information...but China is a big country and each girl is different ya'know. She's fine with coming to America, but as stated, it's a lot more difficult than buying a plane ticket. Chances of her getting a tourist visa are slim to none in the US. She'd lose an amazing career opportunity with a family member's business too.

Definitely a lot of cultural differences. I'm amazed that Chinese guys can afford to date. But she's been pretty open, communicative, and straightforward with me so far. I remember a guy who is married to a Japanese lady who said that having only conversational skills in each other's language made it so they spent more time trying to figure out what each other said rather than jumping to conclusions. So I guess it depends on the person how those differences come into play.

I'm actually a bit of a misfit here in the US as a very conservative Atheist. So China is a bit of fresh air as far as the mix of religion and values goes. Conservative Atheist girls are very hard to come by on the west coast. And she speaks good English so language isn't really a problem.


Anyways, mainly concerned about having realistic income expectations. I guess I'd earn as much money as I can until December or so, then start winding down my practice to be able to leave by late February (I guess when the school year starts?).

[dialogger]

I taught at a Tier One uni with a law school but from memory none of the FTs taught classes there.
What did happen though is that several law students turned up to my English 'elective' class because I ran it as a debate.
We debated the death penalty and compulsory use of seatbelts and the ideas put forward were good - well novel anyway, especially about the death penalty.
I think you will get more recognition from a uni with a law school but you won't be asked to teach law just plain old oral English skills.
Why not see your JD as a business qualification rather than a trad trip to the bar exam.

[JZer]

[LarssonCrew]

Can't believe someone earlier mentioned a wage of $40-50k for lawyers in the states, that is frankly pitiful.

Having an LLB myself[and UK undergrad is notoriously harder], and having passed the BAR, I'm aware that lawyers in the UK simply doing legal aid in my part of the country [the expensive south east] can charge the government �112 an hour, over $160, do that for 20 hours in a week and you're sitting on $3,200 a week, before tax obviously.

[jm21]