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the grass is always greener on the other side
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JZer



Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
So I say screw the expectations, why struggle to be happy, what's wrong with enjoying ones blue periods, what's wrong with continually reaching for the stars even when we realize what we do may never amount to anything in the eyes of anyone.


ESL Hobo, one should definitely disregard exceptions of others. Probably everyone you know has a different expectation of you. How could they every all be met and everyone happy?
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ESL Hobo



Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 262
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks Jzer,
Of course it would be ridiculous to try and live up to the expectations of everyone around you.

What I was getting at is there is something pervasive in most societies that one is expected to be in a continual state of happiness or contentment or there is something wrong with you. I just don't buy it.

The "big six" emotions are Happy, Sad, Angry, Afraid, Surprised and Disgusted, of course there are many more. Perhaps most societies have a fixation on happiness because parents want to see their children grow up happy. But I think being happy all the time is unbalanced.
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JZer



Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
The "big six" emotions are Happy, Sad, Angry, Afraid, Surprised and Disgusted, of course there are many more. Perhaps most societies have a fixation on happiness because parents want to see their children grow up happy. But I think being happy all the time is unbalanced.


I would say it is absurd to believe that people will be happy all the time. Absurd would be a better description than unbalanced.

Quote:
Thanks Jzer,
Of course it would be ridiculous to try and live up to the expectations of everyone around you.


In Taiwan I find it very common.

Last edited by JZer on Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:47 am; edited 3 times in total
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Dear JZer,
I like it: "Upsurd."
Yup, it would be absurd to expect to be happy all the time. If you were, how would you know you were happy. No valleys, no peaks. That's why I mentioned contentment in my last post. Happiness is a rare emotion indeed, and that's ow it should be. But contentment is more attainable and more lasting.
Actually, we often only know we were happy in retrospect.
Regards,
John
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ESL Hobo



Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 262
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Quote:
Thanks Jzer,
Of course it would be ridiculous to try and live up to the expectations of everyone around you.


In Taiwan I find it very common.

That's very true of TW. People here have very high expectations of everyone but can be very forgiving of their own foibles. Is this a homegrown part of their culture or did they learn it from the Americans? Perhaps it's a hybrid?
What's your opinion, as it relates to teaching, of course.
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JZer



Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
What's your opinion, as it relates to teaching, of course.


The people I hear complaints from are usually office workers that want to quit but who's parents believe that is what one should do.

I know someone who studied business in Australia and would rather teach English but her parents insist she slave away in an office for the next 30 years.
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thinktank



Joined: 23 Oct 2009
Posts: 5
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
For me its not necesarily that things are better over-yonder, its that if i see whats there, ill better apreciate what i have here. It might be worst over there but in the end , if you make your trip about Personal connections with other people instead of " i hate this place ,over they're must be better ,then you cant lose
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