Job Discussion Forums

[spiral78]

I think we've discussed this in the mists of the past, but surely we have a never-ending fresh supply of zingers.

What's shocking in your classroom lately?

I've recently had a student who was utterly convinced that because she felt she hadn't done her best possible work on an exam, she should absolutely be allowed to re-sit the test. She repeated, with great conviction, that this was fair because she'd notified the teacher in charge immediately, rather than waiting to actually see her mark.

Happens to be a product of the US school system, this one
Apparently this is a policy at some US institutions these days....

[nomad soul]

Not anything shocking, but... Usually, around the first two weeks of a new module (new students), an hour before class ends, my Saudi girls test me with, "Teacher, let us go! Our drivers are outside waiting for us! The other teachers let the students leave early! Pleeeeeze, teeeecheeer!" I smile and calmly inform them that I'm not like the other teachers.

[DebMer]

Not shocking anymore (it was at first), but certainly egregious to me are otherwise kind, respectful and courteous adult students who still don't turn off their cell ringers and still do answer calls in class (then "politely" hurry out of the room while carrying on a conversation in a stage whisper) in spite of my requests to refrain from cell use during class. Also students who are asked multiple times during the semester to schedule doctor and dentist appointments outside of class hours (only 9 hours per week!) who bring me doctor and dentist notes the day after an absence to justify their absence.

[Sashadroogie]

Still not used to the casual anti-Semitism and general racism that some Russian students can give voice to. Even highly-educated ones.

[Sashadroogie]

A peculiar one - learners not knowing their fellow classmates' names. Even after several weeks or months together. Small groups of six or seven, at that. How can you not know their names, never mind the teacher's name? Tends to undermine the whole notion of a 'communicative' classroom

[Cool Teacher]

[jaffa]

Good-looking Chinese chick/student: Do you like head?

Me: Sure.

Chick: My Grandmother says I should have head every day.

[Nb. She was talking about fish heads, an edible delicacy in the Orient.]

[Sashadroogie]

Not quite students, but I once overheard a colleague saying, 'It doesn't matter that I failed my Delta, I'll just do a Masters instead.' Language learners at least have the excuse that we may have misunderstood their outrageous statements of nonsense. Fellow teachers, on the other hand....

[spiral78]

[cmp45]

Last semester,I caught a student using cheat notes during a formal inclass quiz. Even after confiscating the physical cheat notes as evidence (infront of all the other students), he still denied that he was cheating.

[johnslat]

Dear cmp45,

Well, look on the bright side. At least your lessons on note-taking seem to have been successful .

Regards,
John

[cmp45]

[denise]

Speaking of cheating...

A while back, when I was living in Oman, a student handed me a "research paper" that was nothing more than a page of a book photocopied. I could see the edge of the page as a faint outline on the photocopy, and it said something like "page 345".

Nice try, sir.

d

[nomad soul]

One of my students turned in several of "her" assignments late with her name and the dates written over white correction ink. Hmm... the correction ink was still wet on one of the worksheets. Moreover, she used black ink for her name yet the responses on the pages were in blue and in obviously different handwriting. She smiled sweetly when she handed over the work and continued to smile even when she saw that I got some of the correction ink on my finger. I said nothing but gave her one my "Seriously?" looks. She didn't put up a protest the next day when I informed her that she wasn't going to get credit for another student's work.

[spiral78]

I think I've told my best cheating story before, but probably a few years back at least. Please just skip if you recall this one:-)

We had a DOS at our university who was a real (strong) character. She was quietly called 'Stalinetta' and 'Napoleonetta' by the teachers - we basically thought she was annoying and slightly funny, but some of our students were honestly afraid of her.

Including a cohort of young Chinese pre-meds.

They were taking a high-stakes final exam. Their admissions into the medical program hinged on their success on this exam. There were about 40 of the, and I and a friend were proctoring the exam. We were at the rear of the room, and the students were quietly working.
When the door to the room flew open with a huge BANG, and there stood the DOS (in all her fearful glory).

Everyone was startled, including one poor girl who had been successfully hiding a pocket translator on her lap.

The translator fell to the floor. It was the kind that can speak. It began to repeat

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL



I dashed over and kicked the thing, then picked it up some distance away, and asked 'Whose is this???! (though of course I knew very well which poor child had dropped it).

DOS, needless to say, was apoplectic. Shrieked at students for a few minutes then left with even bigger BANG.

My friend and I never told anyone whose translator it was. The poor girl had already been sufficiently punished; she came to us still pale and shaking an hour later to hand in her paper, and never asked for the device back.

Anyway, it's since made a useful cautionary tale about the risks of trying to cheat with translators.